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Joined: Mar 2013
Posts: 429
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Joined: Mar 2013
Posts: 429 |
Doubtful guest, at four my son "invented" biological warfare. He went so far as to think of the advantages of keeping the infrastructure unharmed and of using a virus for which only he and his allies had been vaccinated. thank you so much for telling me this! i hope we hear a ton more stories like that one - it does a world of good to feel less alone. ps - when i was a kid, my first "novel" centred around an intrepid, flame-haired virologist named Frederica racing to save the world from an evil genius and his designer virus. it was... hilariously awful!
Last edited by doubtfulguest; 07/26/13 07:42 AM.
Every Sunday it brooded and lay on the floor. Inconveniently close to the drawing-room door.
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Joined: Nov 2012
Posts: 2,513 Likes: 1
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Joined: Nov 2012
Posts: 2,513 Likes: 1 |
here i will take a deep breath. as i type this, my heart still pounds and i'm so sorry if this upsets anyone - i truly apologize. the topic came out of the blue, was driven entirely by DD5, and yet it shocked me beyond anything she's ever said before. i am afraid of posting this, but as usual there is literally no one else to talk to - it pretty much feels like we're raising this kid on the moon. Doubtfulguest, there's a wide gulf between understanding something and advocating for its use. As a child, I was the type who speculated about bio-warfare and human extinction! You can probably tell from my posts that I'm not a professional bio terrorist. 
What is to give light must endure burning.
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Joined: Jun 2012
Posts: 978
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I told my dd10 the full version of the facts of life when she was 8, because she was going into a 4/5 split and i knew there would be kids in her class 2 years older and she would likely hear things. She was very calm and handled the information well, with what i thought was an approprioate amount of "ew, that's gross" in her responses. DS9, on the other hand, gets all cringey when i bring it up, saying he doesn't want to know. I'm playing it by ear with him and will likely sit him down and require that he listen at some point. I'd rather that my kids get accurate info from me than who knows what kind of info from the play ground...
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Joined: May 2011
Posts: 741
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Joined: May 2011
Posts: 741 |
I told my dd10 the full version of the facts of life when she was 8, because she was going into a 4/5 split and i knew there would be kids in her class 2 years older and she would likely hear things. She was very calm and handled the information well, with what i thought was an approprioate amount of "ew, that's gross" in her responses. DS9, on the other hand, gets all cringey when i bring it up, saying he doesn't want to know. I'm playing it by ear with him and will likely sit him down and require that he listen at some point. I'd rather that my kids get accurate info from me than who knows what kind of info from the play ground... DS is going into a blended grade school next year. I'm expecting the school will be sensitive to the younger children when it comes to health class, but still it's something to ask about just to be sure!
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Joined: May 2011
Posts: 741
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He's asked how he got out and since it was via C-section, he thinks all babies are born with surgery. I haven't enlightened him.
We keep him away from the news and that helps a lot to keep the awkward questions to a minimum. But I know they are going to be coming more as he mixes with older kids at school.
I'm glad to read how others handle this. I suppose we could handle it on a "need to know" basis and skirt over-explanation by asking him exactly why he wants to know and what.
Still sorry to see that cool almanac on the shelf, though.
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Joined: Oct 2011
Posts: 2,856
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I told my dd10 the full version of the facts of life when she was 8, because she was going into a 4/5 split and i knew there would be kids in her class 2 years older and she would likely hear things. Yikes. DD8 will be spending half her day in a G/T class of grades 4-6, and I hadn't considered the implications on this topic yet. Looks like I have a conversation with the DW tonight.
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Joined: Jan 2013
Posts: 121
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Oh yes, I wasn't prepared to have a talk about the birds and bees with 5yo. I find that giving general and light answers can temporarily leave him satisfied. Of course when he was 3.5 and coming into bathroom stalls in public places with me, and he asks out loud, "Mom, what is a sanitary napkin?" because he could read the sign, I just have to answer fast and move on in a casual tone that won't attract more questions...oh just something a girl uses. That kind of general answer lets me get off the hook a lot. I have to be fast to change topics though. But there are times I just have to say, I will tell you when you get a little older.
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Joined: Aug 2010
Posts: 3,428
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My DD asked very specific questions at 3, because I was pregnant with her brother. They went on and on (she really wanted to know), so we answered. The child psych view on this is basically that you respond to their questions at any early age based on what they seem to want to know, but if they do not know "how it works" by around age 6, it's time to give them some basics. Otherwise, they ARE going to get it from their friends at school, and don't you want to be their first teacher? Otherwwise they may really get it wrong for some time. I knew kids who thought you could get pregnant by sitting on the toilet in the boys' bathroom.
I'm talking about "where do babies come from" here. Not rape and abortion. I don't know what the thinking is on that. We have not covered rape and abortion, though we have discussed birth control (quite specifically, thanks to a gas station condom machine). Both kids know about periods and so on because they have asked about tampons, etc. I don't consider this info shocking.
Oh, and DS asked at 4 ("How does the baby get inside the uteus?" or something) but I'm not sure he remembers. It was a short conversation because he didn't seem to be as intensely curious as DD. Again, I was following his lead, since he was prtety little.
If the subject is horribly awkward to you, there are some nice books. We got DD It's Not the Stork when she was little, and there are more in that series.
Research on this endorses the key importance of being open with your kids from childhood up if you want them to share their concerns about sex and dating with you as they grow up. I would feel uncomfortable dancing around these subjects with my kids, especially since they're so bright and so perceptive. Especially with my highly stubborn autodidact eldest, I'd assume she'd find the info elsewhere. I don't want to give the impression that sex is something I don't want to talk about with them or that they can't bring up with me, or that it is a subject that "we don't discuss."
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Joined: Sep 2011
Posts: 3,363
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I told my dd10 the full version of the facts of life when she was 8, because she was going into a 4/5 split and i knew there would be kids in her class 2 years older and she would likely hear things. Yikes. DD8 will be spending half her day in a G/T class of grades 4-6, and I hadn't considered the implications on this topic yet. Looks like I have a conversation with the DW tonight. Dude, my apologies for veering a bit OT here, but fwiw, you might find that knowledge of the facts of life is only one slice of what might be up for among a class of 4th-6th graders. I have a few friends who's children went to a school that split grades up by 3 years like that, and they loved 1st-3rd but found that they (as parents) had a bit of "culture shock" moving into the 4th-6th grouping - there is such a large developmental difference just between typical-age 4th graders and 6th graders (to be transparent here, the children I now who were at this school were all girls... and as the mom of a son and a dd who've both gone through those grades... the son was a lot easier lol!). Anyway, my dd11 was a 5th grader in a 5th/6th split class last year and even with the older split there was still quite a difference in where the girls were at regarding boys, makeup, music, how they used social media and technology, what they did for fun etc. It will really all be ok - so I hope my post didn't sound horrid or scary or anything! Just wanted to give you a heads up that 6th grade girls are light years different than typical 4th graders, so don't be surprised at what might pop up this coming school year. FWIW, my ds was in a 4th/5th grade split class for both of those years... a few years back.. and at that time... the 5th grade girls all thought they were vampires. Seriously. There's nothing more amusing than tween girls when the hormones start kicking in lol! Best wishes, polarbear
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