Gifted Issues Discussion homepage Forums Parenting and Advocacy Frustrated!

Hello,

My name is Desiree and I want to cry! My son is gifted and I have been dealing with opposition from the education system his whole life. I have worked hard to provide him with enrichment opportunities, such as travel, reading materials, interesting exhibits, anything and everything to give this child a leg up. Now we're coming to the end of his freshman year in highschool where he is getting a C-. (first low grade in his life). His other grades are A's and B's and they dont think there is anything wrong. He processes so slowly, and methodically and he just can seem to keep up with pace of the classes. When he takes non timed tests he is off the charts, when tests are timed he blows it. I can't get anyone to listen! I am so frustrated.

I've taught kids like that. The ones I could help the most had 504s or IEPs so I could give them more time. (I also tried to give plenty of time for assessments in general). Hopefully you'll find some good advice from folks who've patented through this.

Hi Desiree,

Has your ds been through any type of educational evaluation, either through school or privately (neuropscyh)? If not, having data to support the *why* he is slower to complete work than other students is what you can use to advocate for accommodations. Extended time is an *extremely* common accommodation (for students who need it). The key is being able to show data that supports the need.

What does your ds say about schoolwork? Has he given you any clue re why it might take him longer than other students to complete timed assignments? There are so many different things that could potentially be a factor - that's where testing (achievement vs ability plus the additional follow-up tests that neuropsychs typically administer) can be very helpful. Once you know the reason behind the slowness, then you can also figure out a way to accommodate - this is something you can rely on the school to do to a certain extent, but the better informed you are as a parent the better off your ds will be in the long run.

Best wishes,

polarbear

It might also be helpful to know more about the differences between this one course-- and everything else, past and present.

What is the subject? Is it material that he knows (too) well? Or is it completely novel material?

Does it take your son longer than peers to learn new/novel concepts? Longer to do written work? Or something else entirely?

When you say that he processes things "slowly and methodically" I'd actually call that something of a red flag with a gifted child-- it makes me think "what else is going on here?" This could really be an indication of an underlying learning disability of some kinds-- or possibly anxiety/perfectionism.

Gifted people tend to process things much FASTER (in general) than others do unless there are other things going on.

Is this particular class one in which the expectations jump is more than your son was fully prepared for (maybe a writing class, for example)? Maybe the school is hoping that the difficulties will self-correct as your DS adjusts to the new challenges of high school. I understand how frustrating that must be if you sense that there is far more going on.

What does your son think is the problem?

Hi, Thank you sooo much for the replies. My DS has learned to compensate for his slowness through the years. When he took his first GATE test at 7 years old he got every answer correct except one, and the teacher told me if he had more time, he would have gotten that one correct as well. My DS has always been a slow processer. When given tasks that are timed, it is very rarely finished. When untimed he scores so high that educators are amazed. He is a freshman this year and made a hard transition in to high school and I can understand that, but in high school they will not make accomadations for him, simply because he is not "special education material". He gets good grades, but with his scores and potential why isnt he getting GREAT grades? I have recently read an article titled the tortoise hypothesis. It sounds so much like him. He has serious anxiety because he cannot think on the spot, it takes him forever to process his thoughts. His self esteem is terrible because he is getting a C- in what should be an easy class. I want to have him tested, but I don't know the first thing about it. I sought assistance from the school psychologist and she scolded me for trying to get him help. She says his grades are fine and unless they see him failing there is no help for him. I tried to explain that exceptional children can include gifted children as well. She said she didn't know anything about it and has never dealt with children that are gifted and that I should just be grateful that my child isn't mentally retarded or failing. My main concern is how do I get this kid into a college that I know he can succeed in if his grades aren't up to par? Am I being silly or unreasonable? Also it doesn't help that he barely turned 13. So my DS is socially behind his peers as well.