Gifted Issues Discussion homepage Forums Learning Environments College and the young PG prospective student

So I just wanted to share this, because it was awesome.

My DD and I toured my alma mater this weekend. We did this because, we have (the three of us) concluded that several things are important to her-- and us-- in a college. DD13 is a high school junior, and will graduate in the top 5 in her HS class of nearly 300.

What's important to us:

1. lots of face-time with faculty in small group settings-- DD's learning style is about 90% Socratic.

2. Small-to-medium size of campus-- no slipping through the cracks, and better chance for her to feel confident as she grows in independence.

3. high quality programs in areas of interest-- these include math, physics, music, and psychology/sociology, so this really means "liberal arts college with exemplary science/math program"

4. history of sending BS graduates into elite grad programs at high rates.

5. Cost. This has to be on the table, because she probably needs me to go and live WITH her off-campus for it to be feasible for her to go 'away' to college. It's complicated in her case, but dorm living isn't necessarily a good idea for any 13-15yo. Adding 20K in living expenses and me having to find a job whilst being new to the area AND place-bound... ick.


6. This place needs to register a negative number on the 'pretentiousness' scale. This isn't about us-- it's about DD. She has a really visceral reaction to overweening ambition/arrogance that is.... formidable. She wants a COOPERATIVE learning environment, NOT a 'competitive' one.

7. True peers would be nice... but hopefully she'll find them if we hit #3 in the sweet spot.
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So we visited my alma mater this past week. It's a regional public college with a few graduate programs, but mostly has an undergraduate focus and isn't too large. Yes, this would entail a move, but it's easy driving distance for weekends home, and obviously I'm familiar with the area.

The chair of the math department talked to my DD for over an hour. Just like she was any other prospective major, and obviously excited to talk to her. She also shares a first name with my DD.... which was very cool for my DD. The best thing of all, though-- they didn't even BLINK at her age. No questions about it, no skepticism, no nothing. It was SO nice for her to be taken seriously.

DD was lit up from inside. She can see that there is a light at the end of the high school tunnel of standardized tests and stupidity, and it's actually DAYLIGHT.

In the bonus round, the school also has a nationally well-known music and theater program. About 80% of graduates go on to MS and PhD programs in her major-of-interest, and a fair number go on to elite grad schools.

I'm really, really encouraged by this. REALLY encouraged.

I just wanted to share in case this gives others some hope. We always knew that "elite" might not be what DD wanted-- or what we could realistically give her financially, either-- but finding something that WOULD fit... that seemed like a daunting task. It was a terrific relief to see that she felt very comfortable-- and so did faculty, and they were ready, willing, and able to take her under their wing as a department. YAY!!!

Going with her seems a bit problematic on a lot of levels. Could you arrange private board for her? Do you know people there?

Pop the top on the champagne!

Yes-- if, in another year or two, DD is comfortable being alone on her own overnight in an off-campus apartment, it would open up the ability for me to leave her there for two or three days at a time on her own. In the interim, I'll probably see what I can do working remotely, or take on adjunct teaching part-time in addition to doing remote work. Maybe call in a favor or two in the area-- I do know a few people, even if I don't trust them to be able to keep a household safe for my DD to live in.

The other nice thing about this campus-- and really, this IS something that other parents of PG kids should be thinking about-- is that in spite of the nominal "freshman residency" requirement for on-campus living, a small campus which is historically a non-traditional/commuter campus is going to have a greater number of exceptions than a traditional demographic at a more homogenous place. That means that a too-young-for-dorms student (and this is sometimes problematic for ANY student under 16, and definitely with a student who has any kind of medical condition) isn't so singular.

That has also been something we've worried about. As more campuses adopt requirements (as opposed to "recommendations") that freshmen live ON-CAMPUS, this means that fewer of a student's cohort and peers will have spent that year living outside of the framework. The more uniform it is, the more outside the culture outliers are. KWIM?