Gifted Issues Discussion homepage Forums Learning Environments School Restrictions on Dress...a Lamentation.

This past year, our son has attended a private school that prohibits any clothing with logos, pictures, etc.

As an artist, it's been awful for me; mostly because I had already purchased some wonderful outfits for my son (6) to wear for this past year. But, because of a poor "fit" (pun intended) with the public school, we transferred to this private facility.

Next year, I'm happy to report, he will attend a different school and is free to express my sense of color and form. I say, "my" because he's an uninterested by-stander in the wardrobe department. He will color coordinate, but that's his fashion limit.

How many gifted children who love color and freedom must conform to the strict limitations of uniforms? Is this something that makes each day less to celebrate for your child?

I know some of you have children who interpret days of the week in color. I understand that on a lower level. By that I mean I find myself automatically coordinating my own clothing with my son's. I set out his clothes each night and somehow manage to automatically choose complimentary colors or matching colors naturally for myself the next morning.

DS pointed out that we were both in all blue today and that is what prompted this post.

We had the opposite: at our public school they were strict on uniforms, hair etc, which DS felt constricted his self-expression, and the strong focus on policing these arbitrary rules really rubbed him the wrong way! And I agree, who cares how long your hair is or what colour it is when you've got so much more going on *inside* your head?!
For many reasons we switched him to a private school, which had no uniform, and a reasonable and flexible hair and dress code, which DS was much happier with.
On a related note I have heard of a little gifted girl who would dress in theme every day - quite abstract themes! Like, she would dress as a season, or an emotion, or a place or a time. Tinsel in her hair would be giggles, and ribbons wrapped around her arms would be the tickling fingers, and her shirt would be yellow for happiness, or she'd wear clothes the colour of her house, with a grey beanie for the chimney and a green cape for the backyard and stick flowers in her shoes etc etc. So cool, but she quickly grew out of it when she started school

Oh, my very artistic DD HATES her (public school) uniform. It was a serious downside of changing to this school for her. I have come around to it, in that it makes shopping and mornings easier. BTW, she is a synesthete (sees days, letters, and numbers in colors, as you mentioned).

She does her best with socks, jewelry, and hair accessories.

DS is uninterested in clothes, other than liking sea creature anything, so he won't care.

It's not a *huge* problem for us, but kind of an annoyance. The basic rule is that the school doesn't allow "characters" on the clothes. That's fine, but my life is so much easier when I don't have to make him change in the morning.

One day, I let him wear pajamas to school because I figured it's Montessori and should be child-centered and all. I got scolded by the teacher. And I mean, it really did feel like a scolding. For the next few days when my son would say, "but why do I have to change my clothes?" I'd say, "Because Mrs. Teacher is going to put mommy in a time-out" Now, he generally sleeps in clothes that he can go to school in.

The biggest issue for us as been hair. He had a haircut that was kind of spikey, but still long. Kinda rocker bedhead-ish. At home, he'd sometimes rock some colors in it. It used hair glue. Anyway, on Valentine's day, I let him wear some pink in his hair to school, then that day he didn't take a bath, so there was some residual pink in the hair the next day. The teacher then told me, "You need to stop letting him spike his hair because it's affecting his concentration." I was like, "uh, yeah. *That's* the problem." (At that point, we'd been complaining for months about the work in class being too easy for him.)

Once school's out (13 more days!) I think he's gonna go wild with like a mohawk or something.

We love the uniform. Love it. I know my high school daughter is not worried about what to wear every morning. And that is a big deal.

Yeah, us too when the kids had them. Now at dd's middle school I am very thankful for the dress code. I cannot imagine what some kids would wear if not. I also know at my friend's private school that there is no popular culture talk/clothes etc. I don't know how they enforce it, it may be just strongly encouraged to talk/play something other than Disney princesses and Batman. I do like steering kids away from being mini billboards. I know this isn't the OP's situation--I am sure the kid will find another outlet for creativity!

In Australia, a uniform is the norm for all schools, with private schools going further with blazers and ties. I love the uniforms! For safety and fashion issues, it is great.

Out of school, I give my eldest a lot of freedom his clothes and hair cut. He likes the "eccentric professor" look, so bow ties and crazy hair it is. I feel it's important to give kids some freedom and choices in their style. It is basically an extension of their personality.

sigh... i want to go to there.

but back to the post... our (private) school has a uniform and on the first day of school, DD5 said the uniform made her feel like she was joining history (it is a VERY old school). as we walked up to the school on that first day, she said that she was planning to send her daughter there, too. at this point we had every hope this school would be right for her, and it was a really magical moment.

unfortunately, she has spent the entire year trying to blend in academically and socially. though she was incredibly successful at this, over time, she became withdrawn, angry and sad. of course, it's not the fault of the uniform, but i'd be willing to bet that for my (super sensitive) kid, the dress code has been a contributing factor. a uniform is, after all, by definition a visual cue to define, to integrate, and to belong.

all of which is fantastic when you're not struggling to feel those things naturally.

When DD10 had a uniform she would push the limits of what was allowed with her socks and her hairdo. I was truly amazed at what they let her get away with and not call "distracting".

Now that she is at a non-uniform school she dresses with a theme of some sort all the time. Often times it is based on a strange connection between the two colors she puts together and then she spends the day hoping someone will ask her why she is wearing x with y. Since she straddles grades 7 and 8, there are lots of girls in particular interested in their looks, so she does it sometimes to poke fun at their obsession with having the "right" clothes.

My kids wear school uniforms. I love them.

One thing that's good about them is that kids whose parents can't afford the "right" clothes can get picked on or made fun of. I experienced it as a high school junior when we moved from New England to a place that had one of the largest polyester clothing factories in the US. My preppy stuff did not go down well at my new school and a lot of the kids made fun of my clothes. It didn't really bother me, but I'm far more unflappable in that regard than most people. Kids can be pretty mean and uniforms at least spare the uncool dressers from that particular experience.