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Good luck with that :-)

This makes total sense, and this is what we're dealing with in our house (x 2).

DS8 has an ADHD diagnosis but can focus very well on something he's supposed to do and not interested in, if he's given sufficient motivation or consequence. He's very very very capable. He doesn't fit the profile of a kid who's just ADHD. He's not nearly as afflicted. Is he really ADHD? Doctors can be wrong. I don't know.

Coping strategies are my solution (for both kids... DD10 is a scatter brain too )

He's definitely changing. His original diagnosis was combined type, but now his only symptoms are inattention. I think he falls under either the "get better with treatment" or "get better on his own/is outgrowing it" category...

CNN - keep in mind that while the hyperactivity and impulse control bother other people the most, research shows that it's the inattention that causes the greatest academic / life problems. It's not "just" inattention...

I have tried both my DDs on medication and for one of them it's the classic magic switch, it's profoundly obvious when she is on or off her medication. She's on medication because she herself feels better and wants to take it. For the other it didn't work and she's bordering on phobic about swallowing tablets and did not want to take the medication, obviously not good on any front, so we gave up. She's a kid who had a lot of hyperactivity/impulse issues as a younger child and now is "just" innattentive. She's not bothering anyone else at school - but she regularly has NO idea what is going on, leaves homework at school day after day, etc. We are trying to teach and support her through these issues, scaffold etc. But it's not really working that well. I really worry about her. I worry about having one on medication and I worry about the other one not being on it. Can't win!

I know how you feel!! My DS sounds like your non-medicated DD, but add on mild tics, which the docs have told me will likely turn into full blown tourettes if we use stimulants. There's always Strattera, but I haven't given up on non-medication alternatives.

Part of the problem is that the staff isn't willing or able to hold my DS accountable for non-compliance (ie inattention). This makes me nuts. The thing is, he is capable of paying attention to boring stuff when presented with sufficiently motivating consequences/rewards, but the staff is very... well, let's just say they don't understand his learning style.

I've left it up to them long enough, so now I'm going to put together a "motivation/consequence" plan that involves daily contact with the teacher. I hope he'll get a certain teacher in grade 4 (we're not allowed to request) because I know I'll be able to work with her.

(I feel like I'm hijacking the thread but I guess since the OP mentioned ADHD it's not so bad ).

For me, reading 5 Levels of Gifted helped solidify in my mind what gifted "looked like" at various ages...at various "levels" (I.Q). It's my recommendation.

Hello bluecircle,

I finally just joined this forum after reading it for months (without registering because my long-standing paranoia about being judged for talking about our baby's abilities, like in the real world ;-) and found it to be a great source of comfort and advice (see my desperate post on discipline issues)

DS has loved the computer since he was 3 months old. I noticed this when I held him in my lap typing email and he was trying to reach and punch the keys. Curious I put on a nursery rhyme on youtube. He fell in love with the kids123 phonics 2 song and we had to play it over and over again. His attention span never broke. Same with 2 hour-long televised classical music concerts.

I was initially worried about what the experts were saying about no tv/computers under the age of 2 but then I said what the heck, he's having fun, learning like crazy (he recognized each letter in the alphabet by 12 months of age and has since moved onto to simple words) and it's not like I was plonking him in front of the tv alone...

However when he started to voice his desires to watch his shows all the time, I put a time limit and explained it beforehand, like ok we can watch Baba black sheep and then Frère Jacques (the french version of "Brother John" as we are raising him in a bilingual home) but then bye bye for now...which he accepted. But we never sit passively. We sing the songs together and we both point and say look when something cool pops up.

Sometimes, I just go with the flow. When I see that he is so engrossed, he is ignoring everything else (even the sight of a snack), I switch off and do an activity with him with no audiovisual aid.

And to answer your last question. How do you know that he/she's gifted? I still ask myself that a lot and when DS had moments he wasn't doing something truly amazing for a week or two, I'd say to myself, nahhhh, it's all in my head... only to be surprised again. I have no certainty about his abilities over time but if we are honest with ourselves, looking bad, we may very well be headed in that direction.

What I did was read as much of gifted characteristics as possible and then observe my son. Observed him playing with others. Tried to remember the kids I used to babysit way back when. Listen to my friends talk about their own babies and think, wow he used to do that yonks ago and then of course, avoid talking about what he did that day or joke a lot to dilute it all. Talk to non-judgemental friends with kids who have known me for years and don't have issues with insecurity who tell me,no, it's not in your head..

Anyway, aside from the obvious milestones, what really kind of struck me was his early demonstration of empathy: He was 9 months old and I had a friend over with her 1 month old whom he met for the first time. My friend was about to leave and was putting her coat on leaving the baby carrier was on the floor with her daughter in it.
The baby started crying. DS suddenly wore a very concerned look on his face and crawled over to the baby from across the room. He handed her a toy and then his half-eaten cookie (and man does he love his cookies). Baby was crying harder. He then dropped the items, leaned over, said her name clearly (heard once that day) and gave her a clumsy hug and kiss.

That's what l like most about him...

Anway, rambling aside, your kid sounds wonderful...welcome!