Gifted Issues Discussion homepage Forums Parenting and Advocacy How do I stop my DS6 from hitting and hurting

If it happens primarily on the playground, I'd also consider that others may be directly contributing to it. When a kid is oversensitive and prone to extreme reactions, then the fine young piranhas (aka age "peers") will pick up on trigger mechanisms and lay on. Extra trickier if the triggers as behaviors are not independently judged as being problem behaviors.

Thank you all for so many responses. I don't mind one bit the varying responses. It gives me many different things to consider.

Taking him out of school isn't an option since I am not a SAHM. Since everything yesterday I got hyperfocused and called nearly every Psychologist on our insurance. We do see a gifted psychologist but we pay out of pocket for her time.

I contacted a local gifted psychologist that was recommended on a CA gifted website. We conversed over the phone about my son's positives and negatives and the current situation. Set up a time to have a parent meeting and sent our Oct2012 eval over to her for review. I didn't realize she isn't a covered provider so I had to cancel my appointment. But she sent me the following email:

I let her know that he has not be on any medication since Nov2012 and have already contacted those she recommended. Alliant is very local to us and I'm waiting to hear back from them.

I did finally find a psychologist who takes our insurance and also does testing.
But it is a very far drive for us so we'll see what Alliant can do for us before I move forward with this second option.

As for his behavior; he and I had a lengthy talk about everything last night, which included talking about school. I started with having him talk about all the things that he liked at school. We sang the songs he's learned, heart words, etc. We started talking about the playground and what kind of games they play and who he plays with and who he likes and who he might not like. Eventually we got to it. He started to do the big crocodile tears and was almost hyperventilating type cry when he said to me "I just want [child] and [other child] to like me! Why don't they like me? I try to get them to play with me and they won't and that makes me mad."
Does that sound like the root of the problem to anyone else? It did to me. It triggered a huge emotional reaction and that is what our current gifted psych said to look for. So now I'm waiting on a call back from our current gifted psych to discuss this and try to come up with a way to work on these behaviors at school.

Forgive me if I didn't address everyone's question. I'm just giving an update and will go back and answer others in different posts.

Small update. I spoke to the Director at Alliant and their case manager is on mat leave and their assessment program is going on hiatus for the summer. She referred me to Dr. Timothy Gunn also (not knowing he had already been mentioned) and spoke with him personally about my son and said that he is anxious to talk to me and work with me. The down side is that Dr. Gunn, from what I can tell, does not accept my insurance. But she did mention to him that and he said he's work with us on cost. So I've already left him a message and hope to move forward with him and his practice on assessment testing and counseling.

So happy to hear you got an appt for the evaluation. Regarding your son's heartfelt reaction, I think he is in a catch 22 and unfortunately, I see it alot at school with students who have the same impulsive disruptive behavior.

A lot of times when they lash out and you take some time to get to the root of the matter it is because they actually want so and so to be their friend.

The catch 22 comes in when you realize that they really can't control the impulse to do almost anything to get those other kids to pay attention to them.

I don't do any type of special ed or aid work, I am simply a recess monitor who watches ALL the kids and hugs most of them once a day and listens to their woes.

So I can't give you any advice on what to do to make it better short term. I think the long term is going to lie in that psych evaluation, but for now, either you really have to be able to stress self control to him and trust that he will follow through or you have to remove him from the situation that provokes him because he probably very simply doesn't have the ability to stop it from escalating to the violent behavior.

You poor thing and your son. What happens in the school holidays for care? Is there anyone you know who would be prepared to pick him up at lunch and take him to eat at their house or the park for the last two weeks? Is there any way you could restructure your lunch break until the end of the year? Are there any kids at the school who have aides at breaks who would let your son hang out with them? (my son does this sometimes). Hope you sort it out. Keep us posted.

This certainly sounds like an excellent place to start.