Gifted Issues Discussion homepage Forums Parenting and Advocacy Boston terror and my second grader.

We kept the tv off last night. Our 6 and 7 year olds did not need to know what was going on at the Boston Marathon and since their schools did such a nice job of dealing with the Newtown situation, we didn't feel like we needed to inform them of what was going on in the world.
I dropped dd off at school today and had to sign a permission slip, so I went into her classroom to grab a pen off of her teachers desk. There was a sub leading the class who started speaking about what happened in Boston yesterday to the class. I cut her off quickly and told her that we would not be speaking of this in this class. She was embarrassed and made some remarks about how it was all over the news and hard to miss. I told her we made sure that our 7 year old missed it for a reason.
I vented to the school librarian (a friend of mine) about what happened and she told me that I HAD to speak to the principal about it because that is NOT the way they do things at dd's school. She said that other schools she had worked at did not work as hard to make school a safe place. She said her previous school would have had the news on for the kids to watch. ACK!
What is the culture like at your children's schools? Do they talk about tragic news without prompting from the students? Do they work to not talk about it in groups?
I thought it was so interesting that the librarian was surprised by the culture of keeping school a safe place for children to be emotionally. She said it came as a big shock when she started there.

Wow - how long has this sub been in the classroom?

At my school (K-12) it is certainly not brought up by the teachers, and only discussed if a student brings it up.
One of my juniors brought it up and we discussed different aspects of it in a fair amount of depth, BUT this was in a class of 17 and 18 year olds who all had heard of it and were talking about it.

Every school is different, but most that I know of have a general - don't bring it up unless the kids bring it up and then only talk about it in ways that will help kids feel calm and safe.

I work in Boston (hence my moniker), just a few blocks from the explosions. My children noticed that I went home early yesterday, but we did not explain why. Today they know -- other kids told them what happened. Children are going to find out about such events, and I would not expend too much effort trying to shield them (except for visuals).

I'm in Australia, and the schools here absolutely do not talk about any bad news stories! I am shocked that yours does, especially at such a young age.

I talked with my third-grader about it because experience has shown that she may be told about these things at school. I was blindsided last year by a class unit on 9/11. I have learned. The day of Sandy Hook, my PRESCHOOLER had an all-school holiday concert (his school is preK-8) and they talked about it to the entire crowd at the concert. I had anticipated this and talked to DD8 ahead of time. I don't agree that schools should take this role at this age, but it's reality. I do NOT let my kids (9 and 5) watch TV news coverage of these events at this point, though.

I frequently find myself wishing the school would stick to teaching the 3Rs and leave the parenting decisions to me.

As far as I know neither of my kids schools have talked to them about it. We did talk about it together as a family, as we have other big and tragic news events. We've talked about what happened, why it might have happened, and then do our best to talk about the positives of the situation - so many people helped! Look at all the folks rushing in to help people, and all the paramedics and abulances and some of the best hospitals in the whole world are right there, etc, etc. I know DS9 still worries and is anxious about stuff like that, but I feel it's better for us to talk with him up front before he hears about things at school (especially from other kids!)

I'm with Bostonian.

Just don't let them see dead bodies and blood soaked streets.

We, too, have handled this kind of thing as Bostonian's family has. Avoid the gruesome imagery, but-- discuss. I told my DD13 before she saw the footage (which was admittedly quite blood-soaked, IMO).

We've never tried to shield DD-- DD (2y) was perfectly 'aware' of 9/11 and somehow managed to process that completely adequately and without emotional harm. At that point, there seemed no point in shielding her from anything else. Keeping information from a HG+ kid who is tuned into the world is a losing battle, IMO.

Bostonian, I am glad that you and your family are well.

We don't shield. I would rather have the kids hear stuff from me so we may discuss it. And with a 5 year age difference and a younger child who is extremely inquisitive, it is really just impossible anyway. Unfortunately, we have had to discuss some unfortunate local deaths impacting the older child's social circle just prior to the situation in Boston. Too many "why's" lately that I just cannot adequately answer.