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Joined: Jul 2010
Posts: 948
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OP
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Joined: Jul 2010
Posts: 948 |
Background:
dd6 in K, high psychomotor OE, clearly bright even as a baby (not so much in the "let me learn my letters" way but more "how can I climb on top of the fridge to get the cookies" etc. There have been times I was certain she was way more than MG, other times not. She is not complaining about school but neither did older dd12 (NOT her biological sister) who ended up skipping 6th successfully and now has all As in honors classes. I think her teacher's impression is that she is prob. not unusual and would fit right in with the many other MG kids at the school. She is VERY restrained at school so I don't think they see what she is really like.
Ideally I would like to have her privately tested but we just don't have the $. And even though she isn't complaining, if she would be a good candidate for acceleration I would like to do it sooner rather than later.
And I am prob. way overanalyzing this and should just fill out the dumb form.
Or maybe I should wait because some experts seem to say it is better to test at 7. If she does poorly on the testing due to immaturity I feel like we will be limiting her options in the future.
So now I am thinking to wait until first grade, see what happens in fall with gifted screening (CogAt) and go from there.
Someone please give me advice.
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Joined: Jun 2012
Posts: 393
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Joined: Jun 2012
Posts: 393 |
I will preface my thoughts with I emphasize with your conflict. I have a ds in kindergarten.
Is she bored? Have friends at school? Enjoy going? What will gifted services look like after Cogat next year?
We are shelling out the $ for private testing, but my ds fights us going to school everyday, doesn't have any friends- atleast none he wants a play date with, has crazy crying when he comes home from school, and ask when will he learn something at school. We need help. Our ds needs help.
In saying all that, we thought long and hard before seeking outside help. Yet, we're happy we did. (Still in the process though, so we don't know how things will go. Although, ds really liked the tester, and the tester requested more time.)
However, go with your gut! She is your child. You know her best and what situation she will thrive in.
Keep us posted!
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Joined: Jul 2010
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OP
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Well, the more you agonize over it, the longer the decision is drawn out, and eventually the decision is made for you.
I guess I'd look at it this way:
1. would testing now be likely to change anything? If she tests very high? Lower than expected?
Well, if she tested very high then I would strongly consider skipping first. Lower than expected? Honestly, I am certain that *if* she cooperated and put her best effort forward she would at a minimum qualify for gifted (1 day/week pull-out). But, at least in dd12's 5th grade close to 50% of kids qualified, so I am skeptical of the program meeting her needs if she further to the right.
If no, I'd wait.
2. Would waiting for the CogAt be too late? If she does poorly, will you feel like you have no standing to ask for further testing? (Not that it is right to feel this way, but if you would, it would be good to know). This is a good question. I would certainly ask for further testing--I know plenty of kids (including dd12) whose CogAt scores were not as high as WISC, and whose achievement indicates WISC was more accurate.
3. If she did poorly on the CogAt, would the appeals process make her have to wait for the GT program longer than if she hit the magic score?
This is a great question--I don't know what the appeals process is. Good idea to find out now.
4. What is really bothering you? Are you afraid you will see her or her sister differently based on the scores? Look at what is really bothering you and address that. If it would affect your parenting in a negative way, then maybe holding off until you've been able to resolve that issue might be best.
This is a good question too, and I can see why you would ask it...but, no, I don't think this is the issue. I feel like I see her and love her just the way she is. I just feel like I am hyper-aware of gifted girls going under the radar and the negative effects that can have. If she is learning new stuff at school, and being challenged appropriately, I don't really care about a number on a test. But, I want her to have intellectual peers, good study skills, etc. etc. I mention that she is adopted because I think it is relevant that I can't make those assumptions re: full bio siblings having close IQs barring LDs. The two girls are SO DIFFERENT from each other that comparisons just don't happen--totally different temperments, personalities, strengths, interests etc. Like they are so different that comparisons don't happen, if that makes sense.
But, of course the experience with dd12 informs this decision. When she was 6 I NEVER would have guessed she would have DYS scores.
FWIW, mine are biological. Tested the 2E first, Found the E and also a pretty high (not DYS IQ). Had no intention of testing the other, but it was affecting our advocacy--holding us back-- and we actually were doing her a disservice in parenting her by not knowing. So we got her tested and found she was DYS and stopped labeling her "rage to master" behavior as competition or idolizing her brother and realized it was her own innate drive--which we then were free to nurture. If we had wondered if it was a one upmanship attempt on her brother, we would have continued to discourage her. Thanks for the input. It is helpful to hear from other parents! Your experience with your dd is the kind of thing that makes me want to have her tested...but in such a way and at a time that we will get the truest picture.
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Joined: Jul 2010
Posts: 948
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OP
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Joined: Jul 2010
Posts: 948 |
I will preface my thoughts with I emphasize with your conflict. I have a ds in kindergarten.
Is she bored? Have friends at school? Enjoy going? What will gifted services look like after Cogat next year?
We are shelling out the $ for private testing, but my ds fights us going to school everyday, doesn't have any friends- atleast none he wants a play date with, has crazy crying when he comes home from school, and ask when will he learn something at school. We need help. Our ds needs help.
In saying all that, we thought long and hard before seeking outside help. Yet, we're happy we did. (Still in the process though, so we don't know how things will go. Although, ds really liked the tester, and the tester requested more time.)
However, go with your gut! She is your child. You know her best and what situation she will thrive in.
Keep us posted! Your poor ds. I hope the results help you figure out how to help him. Sometimes I wish I would have made it more clear to my parents that I needed something different as a kid. I will be following to see what path you take!
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Joined: Nov 2012
Posts: 312
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Joined: Nov 2012
Posts: 312 |
I think Master of None made good points - which you addressed. I would imagine we have all had some of the same conflicts that you are having at some time or other. The "what ifs" can really haunt you and you don't want to doubt yourself or your child or end up wishing you'd done something differently. I totally get that!
Your DD may be content now, but believe me that can change in the blink of an eye and you are lucky that you already have some experience with giftedness.
I understand that the cost of testing can be a major hurdle and if testing were cheap it would solve a lot of problems for many of us. We used a state college psychology/education department for our testing for DD9 (she had just turned 7 at the time of testing) and the cost was probably 1/2 what it could have been - but it was still a lot of money to us. However, some schools won't accept outside testing or outside testing from an unlicensed grad student. The test they used for our DD wasn't the ever-popular WISC either, but luckily our school did accept the test. This was all before we knew anything at all about what it meant to have a high IQ and to be "gifted".
Now we are at a crossroads with DD7 in 1st grade - much like you are. She is obviously educationally advanced - BUT - she is a pleaser at school and is doing just fine without any of the behavior issues that we had with her older sister that caused us to get the testing for her. Do we go ahead and have her tested so we know just how advanced she is so we can start advocating for her or do we just let her go on about her merry way and see how things turn out? Do we ask school to test her when the time comes since that would be free testing for us or do we pay to have her tested so we can control the testing information? If school does the testing and the results are not what we expected how will we feel about that? If we pay for the testing and the results are not what we expected how will we feel about that? What is best for her compared to what we think is best for her and are we doing it for her or more for us?
As you see - I absolutely get where you are at!!! This parenting thing is hard!! I'm a worry wort and I over analyze everything so that is another thing I agree with Master of None on - if we don't make a decision soon it will end up being made for us and that is something else I have issues with because I'm a control freak also.....lol!
Good Luck and I'm sure things will work out!
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Joined: Jul 2010
Posts: 948
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Joined: Jul 2010
Posts: 948 |
I think Master of None made good points - which you addressed. I would imagine we have all had some of the same conflicts that you are having at some time or other. The "what ifs" can really haunt you and you don't want to doubt yourself or your child or end up wishing you'd done something differently. I totally get that!
Your DD may be content now, but believe me that can change in the blink of an eye and you are lucky that you already have some experience with giftedness.
I understand that the cost of testing can be a major hurdle and if testing were cheap it would solve a lot of problems for many of us. We used a state college psychology/education department for our testing for DD9 (she had just turned 7 at the time of testing) and the cost was probably 1/2 what it could have been - but it was still a lot of money to us. However, some schools won't accept outside testing or outside testing from an unlicensed grad student. The test they used for our DD wasn't the ever-popular WISC either, but luckily our school did accept the test. This was all before we knew anything at all about what it meant to have a high IQ and to be "gifted".
Now we are at a crossroads with DD7 in 1st grade - much like you are. She is obviously educationally advanced - BUT - she is a pleaser at school and is doing just fine without any of the behavior issues that we had with her older sister that caused us to get the testing for her. Do we go ahead and have her tested so we know just how advanced she is so we can start advocating for her or do we just let her go on about her merry way and see how things turn out? Do we ask school to test her when the time comes since that would be free testing for us or do we pay to have her tested so we can control the testing information? If school does the testing and the results are not what we expected how will we feel about that? If we pay for the testing and the results are not what we expected how will we feel about that? What is best for her compared to what we think is best for her and are we doing it for her or more for us?
As you see - I absolutely get where you are at!!! This parenting thing is hard!! I'm a worry wort and I over analyze everything so that is another thing I agree with Master of None on - if we don't make a decision soon it will end up being made for us and that is something else I have issues with because I'm a control freak also.....lol!
Good Luck and I'm sure things will work out! Yes! Exactly--it is comforting to know that I am not alone! It wasn't quite so difficult to ask for the acceleration eval. for dd12 because we already had test results that I had gotten privately and I knew the IAS would support skipping. And I know my dd is not me...but I do see where letting a kid go on their merry way putting forth minimum effort can lead...and I don't want that for her. Parenting is sure complicated!
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Joined: Jul 2010
Posts: 948
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OK thanks for the feedback--I did some more reading on CogAt (what they give to 1st graders in September for gifted cut-off) vs. WISC and even though I am nervous about her cooperating fully for testing, I think our odds are better with WISC. If we wait til fall and she performs below expectations on CogAt then I think it is unlikely they would proceed with acceleration eval afterwards and we would be SOL. Pulled out older dd's testing--this is a kid with DYS scores on WISC and achievement, grade skipped in honors classes making straight As, who was only around 95th% on CogAt. So...not totally confident that test will give best picture.
At this point I turned in the form and we will see. Assistant Principal (who is very nice, has gifted endorsement, handled process for older dd) is great to work with. But principal apparently is not gifted/acceleration friendly and it is her call whether to proceed with testing. I wonder if teacher will be supportive. She seems to love dd, but don't think she gets her totally.
But thinking about it all, I realize I am not crazy to make the request, the kid really is at a minimum MG.
Thanks for listening!
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Joined: Nov 2012
Posts: 312
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Joined: Nov 2012
Posts: 312 |
Good for you - decision made!!!!
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Joined: Jul 2010
Posts: 948
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Good for you - decision made!!!! Thanks! It does feel good to just be done with that part of it! Thanks for humoring me. It is so good to have a place to bounce this stuff around. Now just waiting.
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Joined: Apr 2013
Posts: 84
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Joined: Apr 2013
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Just wanted to say that we've been sifting through some of the same questions re: testing or not testing and whether or not to ask for grade acceleration for our K student. It is helpful to read through your posts and the responses and learn from others who are sifting through this!
(Where we're at: had him tested last week, got results this week and scheduled meeting w/principal & teachers for later this month to discuss acceleration.) Good luck!
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