Gifted Issues Discussion homepage Forums Age or Ability Specific Forums Elementary School "They Don't Understand Me!"

Tonight, as DS and I were making out the Valentines for his classmates, he became agitated and suddenly burst out in tears.

He told me that (the little girl he's got a crush on...see my previous post) said that if you put something in your eye, it would pop out. He told her that's not true, but you would be blind. She didn't understand that word, and that must have been preying upon his mind.

As he let it all out, he told me the kids don't understand him because he's "like a fifth-grade brain age and they are Kindergarten brain age!"

He wants to bring in his dictionary to help them understand. (I nixed that idea.)

This is truly "out-of-the-blue". Up until now, he's been seemingly happy at this private school. It's not a school for gifted, but the teacher gives him advanced reading and is also giving him workbook time (We gave the workbook) when he's finished before the other children during an assignment.

But he's torn up about the other kids not understanding him.

He told me that the words want to burst out, but he holds them in because he knows they won't understand him. But sometimes he can't help it; they come out.

On the bright side, he named two children (out of the seven in his class) that he says understand him. But he's obviously distressed about the other five. Especially that special girl. He said he wished he could make them all the same brain age as him.

What do we do? I hugged him and couldn't help but cry a bit with him. His pain...

I could only offer him consolation that next year his dad and I are hoping he will be chosen for a charter that teaches at individual levels. I said that we are working on getting him into a school where the kids always know what he means.

Should we even talk to the teacher this late in the season?
What could she even do?

This is so sad to hear. Do you think (even though he is so young, of course) that it might help him to think about helping the other kids understand him? You know, by using shorter words or concepts that they might already know about? Then maybe he could focus some of his energy into figuring out how to explain it to them, and also might be able to communicate with them better, and also help teach them things (!). It would take a lot of emotional and social maturity to do that--but maybe it would help him cope, even though at best it would just be a band-aid to help him deal with the situation he's in--long term he clearly needs some quality time with 'brain age' peers, so it's great you're working on that. Also, I think it never hurts to bring some issue like this to the teacher in a cooperative, friendly manner--as in, this is what we're hearing at home; do you think there's anything we can do about it, or help him to cope better with school. A good teacher will take the ball and run with it. Good luck!

I am sad for your son!