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Joined: Jan 2012
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I'm preparing for a parent meeting with my daughter's principal on Friday. She's in 2nd grade, and it looks like she's in for another "lost year." This one is better than last, because she's not with a teacher who's punitive about her behavior/distraction/sociability, but there's still not much going on.
I'm curious if anyone has insight from personal experience or, even better, links to articles and research about what happens to gifted kids who are left in unfertile soil, so to speak? She's not in bad environment: she likes her teacher and likes her friends and enjoys her "specials" like art and music. But, she's got a lot of downtime during which she entertains herself by occasionally reading but just as often by making folded paper fortune tellers or stuffed rabbits from paper and staples.
Stacey. Former high school teacher, back in the corporate world, mom to 2 bright girls: DD12 & DD7.
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Here is a link to a Linda Silverman article about gifted girls. It's old but it's short enough that you might get the teacher to look at it. I think that it still is relevant: http://www.jeffcogifted.org/images/jagc/pdfs/where_have_all_the_girls_gone.pdfIt talks about gifted girls' ability to be chameleons, able to fit in and seem fine, and the downside to this. Here is a sample: We know that gifted girls fit in by pretending to be less capable than they really are, and that this habit pattern often becomes a self-fulfilling prophecy (Borland, 1986). If elementary school work is too easy, girls are unprepared to meet the challenges of advanced coursework later on, avoid more difficult courses, which unnecessarily limits their career choices, and come to believe that they really aren't smart (Dweck 1986).
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Thank you! That was a really interesting series of articles. I'm definitely printing it out to bring with me.
Stacey. Former high school teacher, back in the corporate world, mom to 2 bright girls: DD12 & DD7.
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From personal experience, through what we saw with our DDalmost10 a few years ago, I would say that they wither and hide the longer they are in the situation. We knew that something needed to change for DD a couple of years ago when she became sullen and uninterested in school or learning about anything. When we finally got her talking about what was going on she said things like: "it's not that I have no friends, because I do, and I like my teachers, but I am just really tired of nobody understanding what I'm talking about or what my questions are about...so I've just stopped talking and asking questions and tried to be interested in what everyone else is interested in." When we talked to her about alternatives for the following school year, her first comment was "I'll give it a try as long as I'll be able to talk to someone about interesting stuff." We had heard that it was really important for gifted kids to be properly placed by third grade, especially girls or they will be lost and start to shut down in school. When we starting seeing it with a previously voracious learning it was scary! It took the entire summer vacation and a month or so of home schooling before her appetite for learning came back. We have luckily been able to keep at least part of her schooling to include some challenge so that spark doesn't die, but it is really hard to keep her from hiding in certain situations because she wants to fit in more than stick out.
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Thanks for posting this question the responding articles. "Lost Year" is what we are experiencing here in kindy. Nothing terribly traumatic (thank goodness)...but absolutely NO academic growth - NONE. We are also seeing my ds who has always been a VERY passionate learner becoming more listless and disengaged. He complains every day that school is boring - though he does like to hang with his friends and play at recess.
With my work schedule, it is hard to put into play a very thorough after-schooling plan.
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I'm so glad to get the links and advice, and the commiseration. Thank you!
Evemomma--"lost year" is exactly how I refer to DD's 1st grade year. Her kindy teacher was amazing, but last year sucked. Unfortunately, while this year is proving to be emotionally better, it's still boring as heck for her, and I have to listen to her every night talk about how many days there are left til Friday. It stinks to have a 7-year old already having at TGIF mentality. She asks me regularly to home-school her, but I don't know we could financially make it work.
Stacey. Former high school teacher, back in the corporate world, mom to 2 bright girls: DD12 & DD7.
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I wish we could look into the future (well duh, don't we all?) and see what next year holds for ds in first grade. At this point, I know we can't seek a grade skip as he isn't get differentiated enough to do first grade work to get ready for second. I've thought about pulling him for intensive work this semester, but then I worry that they won't let him skip and he's just going to be bored again next year!
You know, I could even deal with bored as in "this doesn't interest me"...but bored as in, "I learned this two years ago" seems to a be the worst.
With my evening work hours and flexible schedule, I've tinkered with the idea of homeschooling, but I'm not sure if it's the right choice. DS was SO excited for school, and it really does make me sad that he leaves hungry for learning every day.
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Evemomma- As usual, I'm right with you having these thoughts and whirling around what to do and what is best for ds. Wish I had the answer. Hopefully, things will get better....
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