Gifted Issues Discussion homepage Forums Parenting and Advocacy mean teacher - need advise please

My son tears up easily now and cried easily when he was younger. I don't think that behaviour is extremely unusal in any boys which might be good! I saw many instances of his 5th grade teammates crying during practices and games this past basketball season. I believe it is more healthy and acceptable now for boys to show sadness. I think fewer parents deter it. THe emotions will present themselves anyway and it's better than converting every negative emotion to anger.

I also see that boys are aloud to cry more now, Delbows. DS10 cried sometimes. I think that kids who's emotional recievers are set to monitor others, will take things in stride more than kids who spend more time with their emotional recievers set to focus their inner life. I thinks that this is normal, and somewhat inborn.

OTOH, DS10's worst year socially was when he was in the room with the teacher who critisized him openly. Partially because he was stressed and misbehaving, and partially because the kids had support to take an obnoxious attitude toward him.

Dealande, I'm so sorry your child spent so much time being picked on! No one deserves that, even if they cry, they are "too intense" or "notice too many things." Realistically when a highly gifted child has to spend hours and hours in classrooms where the "popular" kids are developmentally at a much lower level, then a child would have to be "highly gifted in Charisma" ((As DS10 puts it)) to be popular. If the academic situation can't be changed, then at least try for some afterschool relationships where the child can "be liked for who he is."

The tape recorder trick is an amazing story!

Best Wishes,
Trin

I think that you hit it right on Trinity...if you're stuck sitting in a class where all the children are "lower" than you are and they are the ones that are popular and considered "preferred students" by the teachers and administration then it must do horrible things to your self esteem.

One thing that has worked out very well for us is a local college does a summer camp with various classes for the kids to choose. Everything from building small rockets to "supermarket science" to harry potter. It's only for a week but my son loves it and can't wait to go. I think that's mostly because it IS pretty much all children close to his level and for one week a year he finally "fits in".

And I"m actually glad to hear that other gifted boys tend to cry easily too. For the longest time the school had me convinced that I had raised him wrong...we didn't do daycare and I stayed home with him until he started first grade and even now I only work part time. So I had that "mommy guilt" thing that I had really messed him up. He IS getting a lot better about it and will vent more to me when he gets home which is fine.

The sad trend that I see is that the highly gifted children in my son's school (there is one other in my son's grade) tend to withdrawal inside themselves and are ignored which the below average children are nurtured and have the self esteem and ego's of movie stars.

I have seen the same thing where the teacher bullies a child and the children see that it's "ok" to pick on that child and then continue to do so. Sad that some adults can't act like one!

The tape recorder worked wonders! I advise all parent's to use it if they think it's necessary! ;-)