Gifted Issues Discussion homepage Forums Parenting and Advocacy Boarding Schools

Someone has asked me in a PM a while ago what our decision is re: boarding schools.

I have mentioned in some posts that Ghost is being courted by top boarding schols (courted meaning received letters).

When he received the first letter, he had no idea what a boarding school was. Since than he has learned a lot but he is not enthusiastic about one. We absolutely do not force the issue, it has dropped from the radar from now. H said that we should bring it aboard again in late summer, when Ghost gets back from a long academic program. H thinks that Gost should take the test (SSAT) and ten decide.
There is a lot that goes into decision like that. I have been asking/looking/soul searching and here is where we are at this point:

1. I am not ready to let him go. If the school was within a driving distance, no problem, but we are a 5 hour flight away, we are far from the east coast ...

2. H is a product of a European boarding school. He is closest with his boarding school buddies. He sees no problem...

3. Ghost had no clue what a boarding/prep school was till he got the first letter. He was pleased that he is wanted, but nothing further.

4. There are no good schools around. The best that we can pick at this point is a public IB school, one hour each way (by train and trolley). If Ghost goes to this school, we would still have to work very hard to have any kind of an academic team there...apparently teachers do not care....

5. I spoke about this to my very good friends (book club), very self assured, well off, educated bunch. The overwhelming group response was - WHY WOULD YOU DO IT - DON'T YOU WANT TO SEE HIM GROW??????

6. ^^ I do want to see him grow, I do want to be close to him , I do want to see him daily, I do think he needs me daily (because of the "gifted issues"), but I clearly see that his growth would be best at a prep school.....

7. So... I want a boarding school in my backyard :-)

Any thoughts? How do you guys would feel about this if it was your child in the question?

FYI, you're not the only one who feels like this. Although those East coast boarding schools have traditionally had a fairly large number of students from the west coast, and further (Alaska, Hawaii, Asia, the Middle East, etc.), they have experienced a recent phenomenon - parents who move East for the three or four years of their children's boarding school education. That's their answer to number 7 - they move so that they do have a boarding school in their backyard - and the cheaper day student tuition.

My kid is still too young to have to worry about this choices, but I don't think I could do it.

A friend of mine has a daughter attending a boarding school in the east coast and they are both very happy with the decision.

The school that my son will attend beginning next year sounds very similar to the one that CFK has described.

Funny that I find this topic this morning. Just last night my DS7 asked, out of the blue, "would you have me go to a boarding school?" I was surprised - didn't know he even knew what a boarding school was, but he did. I said no, certainly not now. He said "good, because I would really miss you guys." Awwww.

The thing is, we live only 45 minutes from Illinois Math and Science Academy (IMSA). DH and I have only vaguely referred to the fact that high school here among the cornfields is not likely to be challenging (since grade school really isn't!). IMSA would likely be an option for DS. But I don't even want to consider having him there, away all the time. My older son had two friends from grade school who went there. And a woman I work with has two sons who went there. All did well. But, still......

I agree with your reluctance, Ania. I guess that when the time comes, if DS really wants to go I would support it in spite of my own needs or desires. But since your son isn't even interested, then I wouldn't push it. I don't suppose moving there is even an option for you? My husband mentions moving for a better school more and more often. At first I thought he was joking, but he isn't. It may be an option we have to consider.

We talk more and more about moving for a better school district, as well. It will be a long,uphill battle to make changes where we are. Hadn't considered boarding school, though. Hey - then I wouldn't have to be the one to get him ready in the morning!!! Problem solved! LOL.

I don't think I would go with the boarding school unless you were all just ecstatic about it and it was an excellent social and academic fit.

Some parents of PG kids choose for the children to attend an elite boarding school rather than early college. I've heard some very positive things about Exeter and Andover in particular. I think that these are among the few that can offer an array of true peers for PG kids.

If you're open to relocation though, you can't beat the Davidson Academy of Nevada- it's expressly for PG kids, and it's free!

We've thought about this issue, too. One thing is that the merit scholarships for some of these only cover half the tuition. One school I looked into cost $45K/year, so half is still hefty, especially with college not too far away. Even so, in desperation I told DS13 that we'd be willing to do it. But he's not. DH said DS probably has a better chance getting into whatever college he wants if he stays here, goes to public, Title I (free lunch school), because of colleges wanting geographic diversity. Guess the bottom line for us is that DS doesn't want to do it.

I like what Lorel said about early college & PG. With Ghost, he's really ready for college academically, so you need somewhere safe to keep him while he grows up. Have you considered/can you negotiate Stanford online HS (lower price than boarding schools, lots of advance courses to choose from) mixed in with neighborhood HS? For instance, in our state, we have several HS graduation requirements like PE, Health, State History, etc. that they can do freshman year; then it'd be neat to do a hybrid where some classes are instructors at school, mixed with more advanced courses from Stanford. That way he can progress in math, take APs early on, but still be part of the school to participate in clubs, sports, etc.

My DS13 may be underchallenged, but he's learning coping skills and some content. Plus he has made his own challenges by joining activities that has him absent 2-3 days/wk, so he's always in catch-up/make-up mode. About 15 more school days till we can say he survived freshman year. I've been assured that sophomore year it improves (more ability grouping into the honors/AP classes).

One young lady I spoke to who went to boarding school for a couple years came back here to finish HS. She is very very bright, but could not suffer through public school after she had been there, dropped out, got her GED & went on to college. She eventually got a Fullbright and is now in law school. Don't start off at boarding school and plan to finish back at home--if anything, do it the other way around.

A few years ago, our next door neighbor "sent" their daughter to boarding school in Switzerland. But really, she decided to go on her own and they supported her. She was fed up with the local high school and went online and found a great boarding school in Switzerland. The students took field trips all over Europe on the weekends and she found the other students to be more like her than anyone in our local school. I think her parents were very surprised when she asked to go, but they found a way to pay for it and supported her. And they were all really happy with this arrangement.

I just had lunch with a friend whose daughter is going to do her freshman year in Scotland at an all-girls school. It sounds so exciting and wonderful to escape the public high schools here, take French AND German, Drama AND Fine Arts, as well as access to state-of-the-art science lab equipment (compared to our 1950s models). I am so excited for her and wish NCLB and standards/benchmarks making electives practically non-existent would roll over and die.