Gifted Issues Discussion homepage Forums Age or Ability Specific Forums Elementary School Not wanting to go to school :(

Thanks Kcab...

I have tried to look up the policies online but to no avail. Need to do more research.

I have no advice and I'm sure I'm doing everything wrong; but I do sympathize. My son tells me everyday that he doesn't want to go back. He has even told me that he wants to go to first grade, because he knows everything in kindergarten. I've tried to tell him it's only the beginning and there will be things to learn. Ds has also said he spends his days reading the walls. Also, he was allowed to be mystery reader the first day he could bring a book to school. His teacher was pleasantly suprised he could read so well. His teacher explained at curriculum night, how she put them in groups and differentiated. However, when I went to parent teacher conference, she stated she had not grouped them by ability yet, just by who worked well together. Also, homework came home the day before the conference. I just about lost my mind. It was so inappropriately simple. I brought this up and the teacher said she knew it was too easy for him. Also, she said he has good behavior, 1st to raise his hand, help friends, help teacher; thus she doesn't understand why he would be unhappy. She said I should be happy I have a smart kid. Umm- no. But she did say to stay in touch, that she wanted him challenged. I spoke to the principal after a talk she gave for parents to get her take on what I should do. She said to just stay intouch with the teacher and try to get DS to focus on 1 positive of each day. I guess I am frustrated that school has been in school 7 weeks and although recognizes somewhat that DS is ahead, it seems she is not doing anything. My desire for DS to be challenged comes from not wanting this boredom to become behavior problems ( his teachers last year said it wil and was starting last year). Hoping things get better soon since I don't think there is anything else I can do right now.

I really think kindergarten, and most of first grade, is simply social. It's not academic, IMHO. I just had my kids read alot of advanced books at home and work 2 grade levels ahead on math with Kumon and Singapore Math during that period.
My younger one is in second grade now and he's way ahead of his class. He was way ahead in Kindy and first grade. He never seems to care though- he's very social and he doesn't seem to notice! Last week he said excitedly, "we learned to count by twos!" I told him, you learned that a long time ago. Well, he is happy, so... He can add and subtract 3 digit numbers and multiply two digit numbers; his teacher has no idea.
I don't think most teachers can really differentiate in the early grades alot. They have their hands full in the early grades- kids are learning how to sit still, hold their pencil, write their letters...

Sorry if this has been covered earlier; I didn't go back to read the whole thread. Do your schools have a gifted coordinator (even if the program doesn't start until later)? If yes, I highly recommend contacting that person and asking for help/advice. GCs should be good at differentiation and hopefully can offer assistance to the teacher to provide more appropriate work. The GC may also be able to help get the ball rolling on testing.

Other things we did in kindy-- we sent in books at our kiddo's level. Since DS's math ability was easiest to show, we asked after they tested him if they would allow him to do his math online when the others were learning basic stuff (EPGY or Aleks). They were willing to explore this, and eventually the GC came up with a plan to compact the 2d grade math curriculum and teach DS during pullouts.

I know that not all schools will be as flexible as mine was that year, but when you kindergartner doesn't want to go to school, and cries everyday (well, mine did), it is not normal and it's worth trying to fix.

Thanks for more advice.

St. Paulie Girl...

I think that is the biggest gap - there is NO gifted anything until testing in 3rd grade for a weak (I'm told) pull-out program starting in 4th. My ds' school is only K - 2. We have ramped up weekend / afterschool learning per ds' request. DS is making his own addition flash cards (he loves flashcards - crazy as that is). He 's so ready to start more advanced math work, and we have been delaying it for a year already, waiting for school to start.. Having his tables memorized will help him move more quickly (I think) ...he understands a lot of advanced concepts but has to recalculate with each step.

my ds5 is same as yours.
bored.
not happy.
stagnant in his learning...

i am planning to move him into 1st grade in jan 2013, at a different school. a science magnet.

i have discussed this with him and he is excited, but also bummed because he has made friends in his new kinder class, but i figure he has the fun fall/winter holidays to still be a kinderKid and then start new year off fresh in 1st!

i feel good that i did try kinder for him, and all the social that is so important, but i realize the academc part is so lacking that it just isn't worth it for him to be miserable all day when school should be fun experience.

plz let us know how it works out for your son?
my son is turning 6 soon also...
good luck

Cc6...

I like the idea of moving after the holiday break. I hope that is a better fit for your ds. My ds really likes some of the friends in his class, too - he is hesitant to leave them (he definitely is one who clings to the familiar).

If ds were all in for moving classes, I would push assertively. But with his reluctance (all socially motivated) I don't know what to do other than ask for in class differentiation. We meet with the principal this week.

hi evemomma,
how did the mtg with principal go?
have there been any positive changes?
*
my own now DS6 is for most part BEGGING me to teach him at home.
the social aspect of kinder is no longer enough for him to sustain him all day.
or as he put it "what is the point of being on this earth?"
i think i will start a new thread b/c i am curious if other kids have voiced similiar things....
anyhow,
please let me know how mtg went?
the principal at my DS6 school basically said whatever she felt i wanted to hear, i believed her but it was just lip service to hush me. nothing has been done.
in the classroom, the teacher my DS6 has is very familiar with gifted programs, but basically is doing nothing to help my son, instead she seems to be shutting him down. ?
idk.
i hope it is going better for your child

Both my kids, at various times, have BEGGED me to home school them.

For DD9 it was because of anxiety and for DS8 it because he needs the one-on-one and he knows it. He and I work well together (not all parents and kids make good tutoring partners). I'm in the process of working with his teacher to arrange for occasional "pull outs" where I keep him home and work with him on assignments he doesn't complete in class. Hopefully we can strike a good balance that will work.

So interesting, CCN and cc6, that you both mention homeschooling requests.

My ds6 also started requesting that he get homeschooled (which is odd because we've never discussed this with him). I think it's partly because he misses the one-to-one attention that I gave him last year when we informally homeschooled. But he also says that there's just so much that he's interested in and he wants a chance to learn it.