Gifted Issues Discussion homepage Forums Age or Ability Specific Forums Elementary School Talk to the school before hand?

Our child starts K this fall. Test scores this summer definitely qualify for gifted program (98th percentile or higher for automatic entrance) and working ahead of grade level in both reading and math. Very outspoken and very active individual.

Do we approach the school with the tests beforehand?

I think I've seen others post here before that it's better to be "that mom" than to have "that kid".

I'm a little unclear about what you're saying about the GT program. Are you saying that there is a K GT program in existence for kids 98th and above on an IQ test? And that your kiddo has taken an IQ test and is 99th percentile? Or maybe that was achievement? If your kiddo also meets the qualifications for the GT program, I'm sure the school would like to know. I would certainly want my kid to be in that program with other kids like him if I were in that position.

If they already have a GT program for K kids, they are not going to think you are "that mom" anyway, I would guess.

I agree with st. pauli girl.

When our eldest was about to start school, we thought that school would be a wonderful place where kids would learn wonderful stuff from people who understood that different kids learn at different rates. After all, they had degrees in this stuff, right?

Oh, how wrong we were. When I told the pre-K teacher that DS could read, she looked at me like I was speaking an obscure dead dialect from the planet Zetak. And thus began our adventures in finding appropriate learning environments for our kids. The kid wasn't even allowed to go to across the hall to the kindergarten to read SRA cards. Somehow that would have been a violation of the laws of physics.

My advice: do not worry about being "that kind of parent" and don't worry that people will think badly of you for advocating for your child. It's more important to stand up for what your child needs, politely but firmly.

If you want your ds in the program (which I think I would - but of course, it depends on the program!) - I'd contact the school district now and share the test results.

I'm also not clear from your post exactly what testing your ds has had - is the 99th percentile on an IQ test or an achievement test? Was it done privately or through the school district? If it was done privately, is it an IQ test that the school will accept.

Just a few thoughts based on how our school district handles kindergarten admission to our highly gifted magnet school (and keep in mind, this is just one school district - all are different - and it's been literally *years* since our ds was entering kindergarten so my knowledge even locally is way out of date!). But here goes anyway:

If the testing was done privately the school may want to test again anyway using their standard battery of tests. (Don't be worried about that either - if the world collapses and your ds doesn't score as highly on the school district test as he did in private testing, there could be 800 gazillion reasons why - so if he is tested and scores lower, think through the test, the circumstances, etc and continue to advocate).

Testing in at k isn't the only year that kids are put into the program here (and it sounds like it isn't in your district either). If he doesn't go this year, he can still be considered for the program later - *but* - here's the gotcha - if *achievement* testing is part of the qualifying requirements and he goes into a regular classroom setting with no differentiation based on ability, he might not get qualifying achievement scores in a later year.

If you've got a kid who's scored in the 99th percentile on an IQ test he's gifted! Don't let your worries about how you appear to the school district (as a parent) keep you from asking for him to be included in the program. There's a big difference between being a "pushy" parent and simply being a well-informed parent who is aware of opportunities that fit her child's needs.

Best wishes,

polarbear

Yes, as the others have said, no need to be nervous. But of course you will be, as this is your first time. I would recommend sending an email to the gifted coordinator first, but since many people are not around over the vacation, if you don't get a response in a couple days, call the school and ask when the gifted coordinator returns or else communicate with the principal. On second thought, maybe send your first email to the GC and the principal, since the principal is the one to make placement decisions.

My advice is to ask for advice: "My kiddo recently tested 99th percentile on this test with this tester. Do you accept outside testing? It seems from what he is currently doing, he would fit in best with your GT program. If you don't accept this type of testing, is there any chance he could be tested with you before school starts? Thank you so much for your help. I am new to all of this and I'm really not sure exactly what to do"

Or something like that.... Good luck!

I understand. It's not fun. Take a deep breath and remember that the principal is a person, too.

You might want to think of it this way: you're just going to ask him/her a question about the gifted program in K ("I read that...; my child seems to qualify, and I'd like to learn more about the program." Something like that).

Great News Pdog! You are helping influence everyone towards a good year. Some districts really do get gifted kids.

Even if it takes a year for them to identify for the GT program, it's important that the teacher knows the capabilities of the children they're teaching, especially if the child is advanced. What often times happens if you take the "Wait and see" approach is the child doesn't get appropriately challenged and quickly becomes bored...of course this puts a sour taste in their mouths out of the starting block, not the way your want to see your child think about education.

As others have already expressed, better to be "That parent" than for your child to be negative about school because they're bored and unmotivated. It doesn't take a GT program to challenge a child, just a parent and a teacher willing to work together to meet the child's needs and go the extra mile to do so. That's true even after a child is in the GT program. A child usually spends the mass majority of their time in the regular class room anyway, a few hours a week of GT time isn't going to change their need to be challenged on a daily basis. A strong relationship and good communication both ways with the regular class room teacher out of the blocks is what I've found to be a good start.

I think it's a great sign that the teacher called, and definitely that opens a door to a follow-up email. You could let her know that after the call, you did start thinking of a few concerns based on some things your son told you.

I would start by picking one thing that you think your son is most upset about. If it's the picture books, maybe say "My son was pretty disappointed that he was limited in his choices of books in the library/in class. I understand that this early on you probably are more focused with getting the kids used to the different procedures in school, but I wonder if it would be OK for me to send in a few books for him to have at school?"

Pdog, you've done a great job stepping outside your comfort zone and contacting the school staff - that can be so very hard when you're starting out! I still don't quite understand what your school district's gifted program actually *is* - it sounds a bit like something that's created on the fly for the younger kids? Or is it a grouped-ability classroom within the school at some point, a different magnet school, a pull-out program?


My advice as you are talking to his teacher to advocate for more challenge is to also not discount everything that goes on in the classroom. Yep, it's not what your ds dreamed of when he thought about what school would be like but that doesnt mean there isn't value in it. Having fun and making friends isn't just a fun time to be had in kindergarten; being able to socialize and network are skills that help us all out later on in life - both in the workplace, in our careers and giving us friends etc to enjoy life outside of work. Cutting and pasting may not take much "brain work" but they are ways of developing fine motor skills.

Soooo... those aren't things I'd mention as a concern or mention that he's bored with when you talk to the school staff. I also don't think telling the school staff that school "isn't what he expected it to be" is going to accomplish much - chances are it isn't what 99% of the kindergartners expected it to be!


This is something that I think you can advocate for right away without coming across as adversarial in any way, so I'd start here. Bring in some examples of the books he reads at home and request that your ds be allowed to pick books from a reading-level appropriate (to him) section of the library. If the librarian and teacher balk at that idea or throw up some reason that it's a roadblock, go home, right a very nice politically correct email to the teacher, librarian and principal outlining what you asked, what the response was, include any suggestions you have to work around that roadblock if you have any ideas (or skip this if you don't have any ideas) and then conclude by asking if you can all meet to brainstorm a work-around that will allow your ds to read at the level he's capable of reading at.

Like the reading books, as other types of work comes home later in the year - when they start doing math etc - don't hesitate to send in examples of what your ds is doing at home.


I think that although it's incredibly frustrating right now to see this happening, if you keep advocating for your ds, in the long run he's going to gain something far more important than simply getting more challenging work in the classroom - he'll see his mom stand up for him and he'll also learn how to advocate for himself. Again - not something that happens overnight, it will be something that happens over *years* - but it's something that I've seen happen with my own kids and it's really huge. I ran into a young woman working at the kids' center in my health club a few years ago when ds was in early elementary school and I was beyond frustrated with trying to get him an appropriate level of challenge at school (we didn't have willing staff and ds is also 2e so there was an added layer of hurdles in the eyes of the school)... anyway, while I was checking my kids into the center the woman noticed the book I had in my bag to read while I worked out - it was one of the classic "gifted kids" books, I can't remember which one, but anyway, she saw that and asked why I was reading it, wanting to know if I was studying to be a teacher. I explained I was just a parent reading it to help with advocating for one of my kids. And she gave me the most incredible pep talk ever! She told me how she and her sister were both gifted and how boring school had been and how the best thing ever in her life was seeing her mom go into school and stand up to her teachers and fight for more challenging school work for them. She said it usually didn't really help that much either but that seeing her mom stand up for them was just so empowering - that clearly made more of a mark on her life than anything she ever did in school.

So keep on plugging away! It's a long journey but you're doing a great job so far!

polarbear

ps - the last thought I'll throw out there - when my kids were in early elementary, I found it was really helpful for me to volunteer in the classroom when/if I could especially for my EG ds. Actually being in the classroom for an hour or so at a time really helped me see how the teacher and classroom functioned, and made it easier for me to understand how to advocate with the specific teacher, plus it gave me some real data points to use in negotiating.