Gifted Issues Discussion homepage Forums Age or Ability Specific Forums Pre-school unique vet experiences with amost 4 yr old..advice

My family is traveling in an isolated area. We are having some very unique experiences. DD14 was invited to help neuter a few cats. The vet was doing it as a service to the community. It is not at all a vet clinic. Make a long story short, DD3 almost 4 ended up in the room with us. She was fascinated, asking questions and did not want to leave. She stayed in the room for all 3 cats. If given the chance she would have been helping. There was quite a bit of blood, one cat was not completely under and needed some pinning down, the medication is uhm… So here is the question, would you let your almost four year old witness this? We have been invited to help with a spay which is much more complicated. I am worried that she knows things that her peers do not know and how parents will respond to what is probably going to come out in her play at some point. I also have no desire to stop her curiosity and this kind of opportunity is rare for most kids. What would you say to parents and or teachers about what may come out in her play or talk?

Would I let my own DD at 3-4 witness this? Tough question. I'm going to go with "no."

On one hand, I try to let her take her interest wherever they're going. But here's where I have an issue with this particular scenario: The clinical environment is less than ideal, which is leading her to witness some unnecessary animal suffering. There's a subtext here that even though these animals are being hurt, it's in their own best interests, and the activity is endorsed by the adults in her life. I leave it to your imagination how a 3yo can misinterpret these messages and apply the information.

Of course, this message can be managed by how the adults react to the situations where the animal is being hurt. If the adults are expressing guilt, frustration at the lack of proper facilities, and explaining how, in a perfect world, the procedure should have gone, then the child can get a more accurate interpretation of the events around her.

With the potential risks outweighing the benefits, I'm sticking with "no."

On the positive side, this is much better than when my grandmother drown the farm puppies.

Fortunately, I didn't have to witness that.

I just heard the stories.

I'm going to have to vote "no". 3-4 seems a little young.

I'd so "no" as well ... I can just see my almost 4 year old wanting to try this on his own ...

I'd say yes. What a rare chance to see intestines and a uterus, and how a human can create a bloody mess with just something sharp, and close up a wound using nothing more than a needle and thread.

We post industrialized people live far removed from the gross details of our entrails, but that's a recent development. In other cultures she might at this age see food animals butchered, or live birth. Viewing someone handling the insides of a cat or dog may let her get a visceral sense of anatomy that otherwise waits for high school dissection class, if they even do that in high school any more.

What constitutes unreasonable suffering and whether humans in all their varied cultures have the right to sterilize others are issues that may be saved for a later date.

Polly

There are so many decisions around the whole thing....During the first experience she did ask me whether the cat was going to be sad because it could not make babies. She had some pretty interesting questions... They have not found the cat as of yet, so the decision may get made for us!

My son (4) would love this too. He was fascinated about the whole process when our dog was spayed. The human body has been a passion for him since he was 2 - but he has been saying for ages that he wants to be a vet. Loves dissecting fish (that we plan to eat), a small snake, a slug... We would let him experience it if given the opportunity.

So I guess I should add that neither of the kids know that they are also killing cats that do not have good caretakers... I did not know until I was alone with one of the people working who mentioned it...There is no humane society or adoption agency etc. There is quite a lot that I am sheltering against in many ways. My little one is so into anatomy. During some of our most trying food times we would sprinkle Parmesan cheese on Ravioli and encourage her to eat because it was "antibodies" So I am tending to think that she would find the whole thing quite interesting, and I am quite squeamish and can not imagine dissecting some dead creature that we find without the aid of some help. Mind you DH would have no problem.

When I was 4 I got the job of walking behind the cutter bar to pull the dead animals out of the hay. At three I got to see my first hog harvest. Both taught me a lot about anatomy and about the fragility of life.

If a kid is interested and asking questions, I'd go as far as you can go.

Well, no. I cannot see that (and I am not interested) myself. So I don't think I can take my kids anywhere near that kind of situation.
We are a vegetarian family - so any (big or little) animal suffering - can't take it.