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I'm not sure I'd accept whol*sale a public school teacher's comments on homeschooling, anymore than I accept whol*sale a homeschool parent's opinion of public schools. Both sides have some pretty pervasive prejudices-- and having one foot in both communities, I hear them constantly.
From what I've seen of homeschoolers-- and you can't swing a cat in this area without hitting one, honestly-- they're pretty much like any other kids with involved parents. Some are way ahead, some are a bit ahead, a lot are average, and there are some who are behind. IME though, the ones who are behind often are kids who, because of exceptionalities or developmental lags, would be behind in public school-- and they're being homeschooled to avoid getting lost in the shuffle.

I thought about that after... you're probably right...

Thank you all. I finally got a chance to check back in on this thread. I appreciate all your input. It does help so much!

Unfortuntely, we don't have school figured out like I thought this year. My son is giving push back on leaving the GT school now. He is afraid the honors program will be too easy....ughh. He's also worried about leaving friends he just made last year at the GT school (even though he has just as many friends at the local middle school since he's be doing activities locally.) Sadly, he's afraid of the "perception" of him leavimg and what the kids still in his GT class will think.... He's such a worrier. He's been saying he's worried he "won't get into a good college" or that he "needs to do this and go to an early college H.S.or IB high school or he won't get a good job someday." Yikes! I am really worried about the stress he's put on himself. We've told him repeatedly that these concerns are not something to have at 11yrs old but it's not getting through... We've reassured him that it's about life balance and his childhood only happens once.
My husband and I have been very careful with our discussions and what we've said to him about this school decision. So I don't think it's based on what we are also worrying about.
We are three weeks from the beginning of school and he's an emotional wreck who refuses to make the decision.... So he wants us to "pick" and either way I think he's setting us up.

I re-read the messages on this thread. In looking at them, I wonder if you (and your son) need a break from thinking about this decision. It's hard to make the best decision possible under conditions of significant stress (e.g. you think he's setting you up. Sounds like the stress talking to me).

My advice: if you don't work, pack your bags and go somewhere else for a few days. If you can't leave, stay home and find some new things to do, like hikes or pools or local tourist attractions or whatever. Either way, DO NOT bring up this decision for a while. Forget about it as best you can, and look at it with fresh eyes in a week (or more).

I have not read the whole thread, just the update, about to go watch olympics--but...he is only 11. You are the parents. I think kids should have input, but at 11 parents decide. I think it is too much pressure on a kid to have the weight of that decision.

Yes to this. Really seems like your son should be just fine at the local school.

I went to an excellent suburban high school. The smart affluent kids in the AP classes (some of them anyway) were rude and obnoxious to the teachers. This is not an issue relegated to race or class or intelligence. And, sadly, connections can get kids out of a whole lot of disrespectful behavior. Google the recent incident at Piedmont Driving Club, one of the most prestigious clubs in Atlanta, for examples of terrible behavior by those who have not been fired from their jobs, were probably obnoxious in high school, college, and the workplace, and have continued to not suffer the consequences of their behavior.

Thanks!
He knows we have the ultimate decision as the parents. We've always framed this as him giving his input/preference but we have the final say. I think I'm as confused as him anymore:) and can't seem to make the decision either:)
My husband is absolutely sure the local high school will be just fine. I'm too emotional about it so Dad's going to have to give the final word. We've just thought about it too long and too much this summer and does makes it hardier to look atclearly.

If I were you I would have him give the local school a try this year. No school decision is set in stone, he can make a different decision again when time comes for HS if he wants to. But getting rid of that commute AND moving on from a program that maybe isn't at "GT" as they advertise is probably a good idea in spite of what others may think about the move. Use the commute as the excuse (since it is legitimate!). I suspect he is just getting cold feet regarding the social side of starting over again. Who wouldn't?

Here are a few thoughts:
- Look for activities in his middle school that are academically oriented that he can get involved with. Aligned with his interested, of course. Like chess club, math club, science club, writing club, etc. When he gets to high school, there are usually more (debate, school newspaper, quiz bowl/various academic competitions). My D has "found her tribe" in those types of clubs at her school.
- Make sure he stays on the academic track for any AP or accelerated options that do exist at the high school. Algebra in 7th grade is a good example. But take a look at the high school curriculum and find out about any pre-requisites for the more advanced classes.
- Does your state have any option for high school kids to take college classes? Our state covers the expense for college courses starting junior year for qualified high school students. BUT, it can be hard to get into the program at the state flagship (which is in our town), so figuring out ahead of time what the options are and what is required is a good idea.
- If you can, supplement academically in the summer. Might be a challenge with 5 kids due to cost... but my D had some great summer academic experiences taking classes, collecting insects for 4H, and attending Davidson THINK. She is taking a free online statistics class through Coursera this summer on top of other activities, and enjoying that, so look into those for him as well. For my D, she needs to be learning new stuff all the time or she is unhappy. So we look for a lot of ways to feed that beast.

Good luck!

I think this is reinforced, somewhat, in specialty programs. I know when I pulled my kids out of the gifted magnet there were rumors going around that they'd been "kicked out" because both were asked by peers, point blank, if that were so. Part of the culture of some magnets is the perpetuation of the idea that somehow or another, magnet kids are more special than others. (Our county is particularly bad for that so admittedly I may be somewhat jaundiced in my view.) Add to it the emphasis in school of "you have to do well in elementary or you won't get into a "good" middle school, which limits your choices for high school, which means you'll be unable to get into a good college...pretty soon, a bad day in second grade has you spending the rest of your life panhandling for change at the bus station. Especially true for our high anxiety type kids (of which I have two ::::sigh:::: )