Gifted Issues Discussion homepage Forums Parenting and Advocacy Children who express the desire not to be children

I'm not saying what I want him to do with his life as an adult. I am fulfilling his immediate desire in a fantasy. It helps him understand that I HEAR him, that I GET him in the moment. He knows that its not reasonable or realistic even, and he knows that after too long on the PC he is a grumpy and tired kid. But he loves that I understand how he is feeling right there. And I do get it because I have on occasion played a good computer game till 3am, or eaten cake for breakfast, or spent the day in my pajamas or whatever.

As adults we have the choice. Kids dont really. and thats often all they want. To know that we get how they are feeling in that moment.

I know I'm coming to this discussion late and I have only read the first half of the posts, but I totally identified with this feeling when I was a kid.

I used to hate to play in the front yard when I was 6 or 7 because, if I did, the neighbors would see me and think I was a kid. Silly, I know, but I was very serious about it. Also didn't want to order Happy Meals at McDonald's even though I wanted everything in a Happy Meal. I just didn't want people to see me acting like a kid.

What I really wanted, though, was to be taken seriously. I didn't want my thoughts and ideas dismissed by adults and my much older siblings just because I was a kid. I didn't want to be told that I was wrong about things because I wasn't old enough or experienced to know better. I really wanted people to see and understand the unique ways I saw things and to take me seriously. The fact that I felt much older than I was had a lot to do with it, but also I've always just seen things from a different perspective and couldn't understand why others wouldn't take the time to listen to me just because I was a kid.

So, for me, it wasn't a freedom thing or a rule thing or a can't-wait-to-be-an-adult thing, it was just that, in my mind, I was not a little kid and I wanted to be respected and treated like the thoughtful person that I was.

Thanks, mnmom--you know, I really think that is some of what DD is feeling as well. She desperately wants to be taken seriously.

It was great reading the posts here and seeing that other parents also have kids that think they are older. My 2 1/2 year old thinks he is so mature and makes comments like "I don't want to be around kids today" He looks at kids his own age like they are babies and annoying him. It is kind of funny but I don't know how this or going to work out for him socially down the road.