Gifted Issues Discussion homepage Forums Age or Ability Specific Forums Elementary School Scared of kindergarten

Evemomma - that was pretty much our sentiment re: kindergarten too. DS was very advanced in reading and math, but he refused to learn how to write, so we thought, Yay, something he can learn along with his agemates. He also learned how to "do school", since he had never done full-day school before. He skipped first grade, and I'm still glad we went the kindergarten route instead of skipping it altogether. (In our district, 1st grade was a big "learn to read and do very basic math year" and not as much fun time as kindergarten, so it worked well to skip it.)

We had this problem last year. The school year was not good till I pulled my dd out to homeschool. That being said, no to schools are the same. I know that schools that work with parents exist, I just do not seem to have them in my area. You recieved great advice already and when my dd did start pull outs then she did better in school, though she was still bored. Good luck. I hope you find as much help on this board as I have.

Update- so, after my anxiety was increasing, I emailed back and forth with the principal. We have a plan. I feel somewhat better. So, the principal said not to tell the teacher so there are no preconceived ideas. Then, contact the teacher during week 2, without giving a lot of details, try to see what the teacher's feeling is. Then, schedule a parent teacher conference for week 5. The principal said the first few weeks are getting used to school and all that and assessment. She also said if I have more concerns as the process goes, not to hesitate to contact her. I have to admit I was impressed that the principal responses to my initial email the same day and my second email within minutes! Made me feel more positive about the parent school relationship. Now, I just have to wait and see what happens that first week and what his teacher is like. 5 weeks to wait.
Btw, I have really appreciated everyone thoughts and ideas! Thank you!

I also wondered as much when I contacted my son's principal this spring - that she has heard it all before. Whether they think I'm crazy or not, I figure I did my best to advocate. My DS5 loves to ask question upon question, read EVERYTHING aloud, and process his learning verbally. Can't say I didn't warn 'em.

Melessa - I think that's great news that the principal is so responsive. One word of caution, though, about not telling the teacher. I do understand that teachers want to see for themselves, get to know the kid, etc. But when there are 20 some other kids they're getting to know, unless you have a very obviously advanced kid who's willing to show this to a stranger, it's not too likely that the teacher is going to notice without knowing what they're looking for. And I do think before any assessments are given that you make absolutely sure that if your kiddo gets to keep going and take higher level assessments. The teacher probably won't do this unless it's the norm at the school (and the kids on this board are not the norm). Just for an example, my extremely verbal early talker/early reader kid, super way advanced and astounding to people he knew well (getting comments like "the baby said that?!"), is an extremely quiet student in the classroom. He did not want to talk, and still doesn't much. Because math ability is more obvious, they noticed that, but the teacher actually told us our child might be behind verbally. And I don't blame her - that is what she saw. Just a little warning. And this teacher was told in advance about our son's abilities. If she had not known, she wouldn't have even been looking.

Sorry, I just saw this! I think that would be very reasonable and would probably do that.

Yeah...I was thinking the same thing. Why would it matter if a teacher had a preconceived notion? Is she unable to create her own theory indepently? As a clinician/diagnostition, it never ruffles my feathers for parents to come in with their own 'diagnosis', whether it's accurate or not. After 15 years, I've learned that parent's instincts are incredible. Even if they aren't spot on, I trust the gestalt of their perceptions. This is your son, not a double blind study!

Agree with MON. Here, in K, when they do their initial evaluations, they are looking for slow readers (=those who can't hold the book right way up or recognize letters consistently) so they can remediate them. They are not looking for those who are ahead.

Our K teacher made sure there were some appropriate books for DS in the classroom, but nobody knows his reading level, because they don't test that high in K. (And that is not a brag, but a statement of how little they do.)

DeeDee

Very interesting to read the responses. I didn't really even think about how high they test the kids. I do know the school system uses computerized achievement testing which asks harder questions if something is answered right and easier if you get it wrong. Yet, I have heard of a couple kids failing the achievement test, because they didn't want to take a hard test. This testing puts them in a reading group and math group. Then is rechecked a number of times during the year to see that the child is advancing.
I do realize that this is only the beginning. I am happy to have an initial plan. I also agree with the comment of who knows how he will act in the new school. Last year, in pre-k, his teachers knew within the first week. So, I'm hoping he'll show his true self, if not he has me. I will say and am concerned that he definitely responses more as himself if he likes the teacher. (In swimming, he performs well if the instructor gets him, if he/ she doesn't, he will pretend he can't swim. Then the instructor comes to me asking why he's behaving this way. This has been an ongoing issue since he was 2 maybe before.)
I guess I'm hoping that now the principal knows my name and will hopefully place him with a teacher that enjoys this kid of boy (fingers crossed). Then, we'll see how the first week goes. My eyes are wide open.
Again thanks for all the thoughts and advice. It is invaluable to get insight from those of you who have been through it and those who are facing this like me.
Melessa
Btw, don't think I've mentioned this before, but my concern mostly comes from my brother. He was denied kindergarten where we lived, because he tested out of it. My mother was told to keep him home, because though he had the knowledge, he was immature. Then, another asked to have him skip 3rd grade, my mother refused. In 5th grade, they wanted him to skip and/or take some 6th, 7th grade classes. However, the school told her he would have to have 1 month of good behavior. Didn't happen and I don't know my mother would have agreed in the end anyways. Well, he dropped out of high school and has had a hard life due to his choices. I really, really don't want those issues, worries, outcomes. Ugh. Oh- and my mother has told me, "Don't make the mistakes I did." I won't.

It sounds like you're describing MAP testing. Posters on this board have had mixed results in getting appropriate placement based on the tests. If teachers do group kids according to the test results, you'll may find that the instructional level of the top group still isn't sufficient. My son's reading abilities aren't what you're describing, but his math is way out there. It took 3 quarters, but we did finally get him appropriate placement. It was only after that did I discover that DS had been placed with a group of top math performers in his kindergarten class up until that point. We couldn't tell. They were still working on counting and skip counting, something DS had intuited several years previously.

I do want to caution not to make a decision based on one person's positive or negative experience with school. Keep it in mind as one of many possible outcomes, but please don't go into school fearing the worst based on your brother's experience. Do start reading up around here on positive and effective ways to advocate for your son, though, as given what you report, you're going to need it!