Gifted Issues Discussion homepage Forums Age or Ability Specific Forums Elementary School Scared of kindergarten

Hi- I'm new to this forum. My son is 5 and entering K in the fall. I have always thought he was a smart baby/toddler/ kid. He starting talking at 7 months. Had about 100 words at 12 months (Spanish 40% and English 60%). Has always spoke clearly and great grammar in Spanish. At 18 months knew colors, shapes, alphabet, numbers (s and e). By 2, only played with jigsaw puzzles and books. Soon after 2, we realized he was memorizing lots of stuff- all his books and would correct you when you read, music lyrics and instrument sounds and composers. He started spelling at 3. Thus, we knew he could read. His teachers recognized his memory and reading abilities, the first week of 4 yr preschool (they sent home books). Btw, I never did sight words or workbooks with him. Also, he is always the peacemaker and tries to help anyone who is sad and having a hard time. With me he is really mouthy and argumentative with huge emotional swings. He does better if i keep him with a structured day. So, at the end of the year parent- teacher conference, his teachers told me they are concerned about next year. That we need to make sure B has a teacher that challenges him or he will cause trouble. That Kindergarten is going to be a very hard year (because B is also very social and active. Also, he doesn't want to do worksheets that "he already knows how to do". We have had some issues with this recently. ) this has lead me to start really worrying. All I want is for him to like school and do well, not have a bunch of problems with a bored kid. I was advised when the K teacher contacts me to write her back with my concerns. Any other thoughts/ suggestions?? (btw, school does have GT, but starts in 1st grade. They supposedly do computerized testing for reading and math 4 weeks into K.)

Well, the computerized testing is a good thing. Frankly, I would go visit the school (if it's still in session) and sit and observe in the K, 1st,2nd and 3rd classroom. See which bunch of kids are doing stuff that would be at a similar level to what your son is ready to learn. Then request that your son spend all or part of his day in that classroom.

Is the K full day or half day?
Can you send him to a private school as a first grader, and then bring him back to public the following year?
Is there a local private school that has multiage classrooms so he can go to different grade levels for different subjects?
If school is still in session, see if they will do an IQ test now, instead of waiting until the Fall - and the computer testing. I would be very worried indeed about him spending all day in K while they 'sort him out.'
Is homeschooling a possibility?
In the meantime, I would hothouse emotional self mastery. My favorite book for this is 'Transforming the Difficult Child Workbook' by Lisa Bravo and Howard Glasser.
Good Luck, and so glad you found us!
Grinity

I'd second Grinity's suggestion of trying to observe a K class or at least get an idea of what the daily routine looks like. Honestly, a good K class should not include a lot of worksheets. Hands on, manipulatives, singing, games, etc. are the types of things I remember from my girls' K experience and it wasn't too painful even if they knew the material b/c it wasn't drill and worksheets.

Yes, there were books they read that came home in ziploc baggies and which were leveled early readers, but they went up to probably a second or early third grade reading level and again weren't painful b/c they were short and the kids didn't have to read them repeatedly.

I'd really hope to find a K classroom where it is more play than drill. If that isn't the case, I'd hope the get him out of the drill on the stuff he already knows. However, I probably wouldn't attempt to do that by having my first interaction with the school and teachers be a letter in which I express a list of concerns for my child. I'd be afraid that they'd blow you off as a neurotic parent or one who is making a mountain out of a molehill. I don't think that's the case, but I would want to make sure that they don't interpret it that way.

Could you ask the preschool teachers who have expressed these concerns to contact the K teacher rather than you? It might hold more weight coming from another teacher, even if it isn't a certified teacher.

I agree that this would really be the way to go, and sooner (now) rather than later, since any adjustments a school would need to make might take longer to line up than you would expect. Schools will definitely give more weight to the opinions of trained, experienced educators than to a parent who they do not know. That being said, after the preschool teachers contact the new school, I would contact the principal, say that you're concerned about the fit between your son and the classroom because of what you've been seeing, and see if they will do ability and achievement testing over the summer (probably now or in August) so that you all can get a better sense of what you're dealing with and whether any accommodations will need to be made, and if so, what might be likely to be helpful. It never hurts to play the "I'm a bit confused, and I don't want to come off as saying that my child is the most brilliant child ever, but could you please help me figure out how this is going to work?" card. It might sound jaded, but positioning the encounter as if you are allowing them to help you can often work better than going in with a list of why things won't work (not that you would do that).

Is yor DS old for grade or young for grade? Do his friends tend to be older or the same age he is? If he gets antsy in school when he is not being challenged do you see his behavior improve in situations where he is being challenged? All of these are things that the school might want to take into consideration.

Welcome!

Grinity and Cricket2 thanks for your thoughts. They are greatly appreciated! First, to answer a couple questions- school is out and it is full day kindergarten. I would like to try public school as we bought our house because of the school and pay a lot in taxes because of it. Also, there are 10 kids going to start kindergarten from our neighborhood. Actually, the preschool teachers in January suggested that I kept him at the school; most of the kids that would be in his class were young and "just learning letters". So, I felt like that wasn't the best choice, but it was more play based. (my husband was also not going for it). A couple friends who know B have told me public school may not be the right fit for him. Yet, others say the teachers are good and he will be fine. I guess my husband and I decided that we would try this public school (which the whole school system is a charter program), and if it doesn't work look at private vs homeschooling.
In saying all that, Cricket2, do you think it would be appropriate to include the written evaluation from preschool with my communication? I do feel comfortable trying to ask one of his teachers, but I'm not sure what she would think (especially because I didn't listen to her advice). That teacher does live in my town, but not in my elementary school zone. Thus, the teachers that did the evaluation are familiar with the school format. I don't know. But I definitely don't want to be immediately dismissed. I can say B is not at all quiet, so I'm sure the teacher will recognize some of where he's at. However, I just don't want the teacher to see the "lack of focus" when he's really just bored.
Sorry for rambling.... All thoughts appreciated.
Thanks,
Melessa

At this point, I really think you're going to have to wait until school starts and the teachers meet your son. Do they have assessments before school starts, or do they do them the first week? At that point, it will become really obvious to the teachers that your son is different than the rest of the kindergarteners. I think after the first week of school, you might want to set up a meeting and discuss his needs then. Perhaps you could even discuss a skip into 1st grade-- that happened with one of my childrens' friends. But in my experience, if teachers know your child, they're more willing to listen.

Two of my three are PG and neither of their K teachers wanted to hear about what they could do. With my son, who is now 10, the teacher's eyes about popped out of her head once she finished the assessment the week before school started. When she returned him to me, she said she would be looking for different materials for him before the year started. With my dd and a different teacher, the teacher had her read what my dd called "baby books," with all the other kids for about a month. My dd was incensed, and finally told the teacher the books were things babies "like 2-year-olds!" could read. Since virtually no one in the class could read the "baby" books, the teacher wisely gave my dd appropriate reading material from then on. In both cases, the teachers are huge champions of my kids now because they "discovered" their abilities (actually, it's probably also because they're wonderful teachers.)

If your son is still underchallenged after a few months of K, that's a different story and after that, you would want to start strongly advocating for him. But I would give it a little time.

Thank you everyone for your thoughts. It's great to get some advice from people who have more experience with schools and getting a good fit for their child. I am just hoping my worst fears do not come true, and things will work out. However, I will have my eyes wide open.
There's a lot of good resources and information on this site. I'm sure I will be asking many more questions. Thanks again.

I just wanted to say thanks for all the advice. We'll see how things go. Hopefully, everything just kind of works out, but either way I will have my eyes wide open. I'm so happy I found this forum. It has a lot of great information and resources.

Hi Melessa - welcome! I just wanted to add my 2 cents... If there are administrators still working, I would recommend trying to contact the principal and the gifted coordinator at the school to ask for their help re: placement. I would mention that you received an evaluation from the preschool noting concerns (namely that your child is very advanced). I would ask if there is time to make any placement decisions so that your kiddo could be with a teacher who is familiar with differentiation and who wants a kid like him. This worked well for us when we approached our local district (but then we did this in the spring, when everyone was still around).

I do agree wholeheartedly with the poster who recommended approaching the school by asking their advice. If you put it in terms of "help, I got this information and I don't know what to do - can you help me?" when you start your conversation, I think the school will be more receptive. (We had IQ testing in hand and took this approach. The school then did testing of their own, which is more meaningful to the school.)

I take it as a very good sign that the school will test all kids in the first couple weeks of school, and maybe that can be done before school starts in your son's case?

good luck!

ETA - Of course, take my opinion with a grain of salt. Just passing along some info that worked in my particular situation.

Hi Melissa...

We're in the same boat with my DS5 this fall, so this thread helped ease my own anxieties. I did email my DSs soon to be principal before school was out...she potentially could've thought I was crazy, but she was tactful enough to tell me they do try to group advanced kids. Here's to fingers crossed on that. My DS was writing a letter to DH for Father's Day, and I noticed he was writing some of his letters from bottom to top instead of reverse (good old lefty issues) ....and I thought GOOD, something he needs help with in K!