Gifted Issues Discussion homepage Forums Parenting and Advocacy Hothousing- did you, didn't you, will you?

I was going to say also, we have been very liberal with the "mental health days" for DS this year. He is taking one tommorow and we are going out of town for the weekend. If you have to that, do it, and don't feel bad about it at all.

It sounds like he needs a day off ASAP, like tomorrow? Have you decided to hs? If so he may have easier time if you tell him that you want to hs, but need some time to figure it all out.

The school district has a policy, you can only miss 18 max. I think he's already at 18. Meanwhile, I'm supposed to be in VA next week and had talked about taking him, then backed off when he missed 5 days of school in two weeks due to the flu and a stomach bug. Maybe he'll make the trip after all...

Sorry I'm late Questions.

I'm here for moral support.

So sorry you and DS are in this situation. I'm confident you can figure it out.

Incog

Here if the kids are going to be gone five or more days in a row you can arrange independent study. They get the work packet from the teacher and turn it in when they return. It doesn't count as an absence.

Cathy

VERY interesting thread!!

And...HELP, PLEASE!

I have been struggling with this issue for the last few months with DS, who recently turned five.

To summarize: our very well-behaved child was having some major behavior issues at his Montessori school, where he attended preschool last year and half of this school year. Knowing he was a very bright child for several years now, and suspecting what I began learning was common behavior for gifted preschoolers, we went through formal testing. He tested at or above the 99.9th in almost all of the major subtests or tests. On achievement testing, he placed at mostly late 2nd grade and some early 3rd grade levels. We quickly came to realize that our local schools will not be able to serve him, and have wholeheartedly decided to homeschool.

SO...he is barely five, qualifies for kindergarten in the fall, but is more appropriately placed in 2nd or 3rd grade levels. He was clearly bored in school, having to essentially repeat another year of Montessori in the same class(simply because of the method of spending three years with the same teacher.) I have seen him more relaxed and happy now that he is home.

I have dabbled a bit with a math book, because he is fascinated with numbers. Our conversations may go like this: "Mommy, there's nothing less than zero!" "Well, actually, there are numbers less than zero. Do you want to know about them? They are called negative numbers." And I proceed to very generally tell him what negative numbers are. The next day he randomly brings up the subject again, this time, wanting to add and subtract negative numbers, discuss which is greater, etc.

My point is this: he is clearly showing an interest in learning again, which was our sincere concern when he lost his little spark at the Montessori school. But how much is too much for a five year old?!! He spends plenty of time playing and just having free time. Yet he is thrilled when he realizes he knows how to do certain things that are well beyond his years. He, too, was a spontaneous reader and grasps concepts very quickly.

I'm just sort of hesitant to get started for the fear that I will, very unintentionally, be "hot-housing." I KNOW that he is capable of so, so much at this young age. And, of course, I have a strong desire for him to embrace a love of learning. I love the point made earlier that "playing" for him may be very different from other ND children. I also know that a day filled with video games, computer time, books, running crazy outside, playing with friends, helping Mommy in the kitchen, hanging out with Daddy, etc. etc. can also be filled with sighs of boredom during what seems like a normal day in the life of a preschooler. So I feel like he's ready to take off...perhaps it's just my own issues.


My question: when do we start "school" and how fast do we go?

Since he's never really been in "school," we're starting from scratch. Maybe that's why I feel so overwhelmed.

I don't want to look back and feel like I took away some of this fleeting time to be a kid. But at the same time, I don't want to regret not meeting his needs during this window in time. I feel such a huge responsibility not to fail him, as we all do as parents. If he's ready to take off, I don't feel like I should hold him back because of his young age. How do I find a balance? He doesn't really have much experience with an academic environment. Naturally there will be times when I will have to push him to be able to complete a task that he is clearly capable of doing. I guess, anyway. I would expect most kids to have times in their schooling, wherever they are, that they just don't want to finish an assignment or activity. But he's five. What I might perceive as gentle encouragement to move forward in a curriculum I know he is capable of, someone else might perceive as hot-housing.

My main concern is that he will lose his little spark again if I don't get him plugged in pretty soon. Does that make sense?

Anyway, thanks for reading if you've gotten this far in my ramblings. haha.

I welcome comments, input, advice. All sides. I'm new to this part of our lives and just want what's best for my child.

Thanks,
Allison

My rule: if the child is driving the bus, then it cannot be hothousing. You're not pushing, he is. You're doing what all good parents do: you're answering his questions and letting go when he gets tired of the subject. He is only 5, and he's really, really bright. He's not going to fall behind at this point, so don't stress too much about school. Follow his lead.

That he's loving learning again is a GREAT sign! Go with it! What you're doing is just what you should be doing. Follow his lead.

Have you asked him if he's ready to do some more rigorous learning? If you see signs of boredom, ask him if he'd like to do more. Limiting computer and video game time can help with getting to this point, we've found. Ask him what he'd like to learn about. Expose him to new things and if he seems intrigued, follow up.

Remember that you only have to be sure that your DS is making a year's worth of progress in a year's worth of time. With kids who love learning, they could probably do this if you locked them in a room alone. As you're not going to do that, it will be pretty easy to make progress.

The younger the child, the shorter the lesson--unless they want to keep going. 15 minutes at age 5 is plenty for anything that you're giving him, but be prepared to do one thing that he's loving for a whole day. Be flexible, be open to doing more or less, as needed.

If you're watching him--as it sounds like you are--you'll do fine. No stress!

And remind yourself that you can't do worse than the school he was in, right? That his love of learning is back tells you that! You're already ahead of the game.

To ease your mind, I recommend that you look at a copy of "What Your Kindergartener Needs to Know" by E.D. Hirsch. (It's a series, so there's one for every grade, and I'd almost guarantee that it's in your local library.) It will really reassure you! DS6 had nearly all of the K and 1st grade stuff down before we even began home schooling. We read a couple of books about Sacagawea and Squanto (since Native Americans were too recent to interest him!), and it was all covered. You'll be amazed at how little you need to do, I'll bet!

Hang in there, and don't stress yourself out. It will be a LOT easier than you think it will be!

Thanks, Kriston. You always seem to have the right words.

I should definitely check out that book. I've heard several others refer to that series, as well.

I've thought about purchasing a kindergarten curriculum that would allow me to integrate second grade readers, first or second grade math, etc. and customize the program, while covering the traditional topics covered in kindergarten. If nothing else, it might offer some good books to read for fun. Depending on how it goes, then maybe we can consider bumping up to the next level.

It might be a nice way to ease in to homeschooling with absolutely no pressure. I believe Sinagpore math is one of the math options. Aren't you using that program? Have you enjoyed it? The curriculum website offers placement tests, which is also very convenenient for planning.

I think once we actually get started at some point, things will have a way of working themselves out. I hope, anyway.

Thanks again,
Allison

Ah, well, been there, done that. It makes it easy to know all the right things to say!

Yes, we've liked Singapore...mostly. We flew through 2 years of math in less than 5 months, and that was with me trying everything I could to slow him down.

But Book 3A is very heavy on multiplication, and DS6 hasn't memorized his times tables yet. He has a wonderfaul grasp of the concept, but it takes FOREVER for him to work a problem. So we've ground to a halt. <shrug> We're doing some other math things and dabbling gently in the times tables while we wait for his memory to catch up to his ability.

I feel I really must stress that you may be unhappy with having a set curriculum for a 5yo. While it is possible to have more curricula than you need, it is pretty much impossible to have less than you need, given that you can always purchase something if you find you're lacking. Ease into it! No one says they need more and can't get it; HSing forums are full of people selling curricula they never used or didn't like!

Most of the traditional K topics are things like telling time to the hour, looking at the weather and knowing what to wear in it (raincoat on a rainy day, for example), beginning to learn the alphabet and how to print it, learning letter sounds, listening to folk and fairy tales, following directions, grouping objects into sets, count to 30, knowing what + and - mean, etc. Seriously, any K-based curriculum is probably going to be a waste of money for you.

I promise I won't keep arguing with you about this. I just know that this advice was the best advice anyone gave me. The curriculum is the easiest part of home schooling! For young GT kids, it's soooooo simple!

If you do buy stuff, don't be surprised if your child outgrows it in mere minutes. Without a classroom of kids to slow them down, they tend to absolutely leap through concepts.

Remember: you've been your child's teacher for YEARS and you've done just fine without a curriculum, right? 5 years old isn't so different than what you've done his whole life, I promise!

Get the Hirsch books or some other such guide and then use your library. It's free and adjusts easily to your child as he learns and skips ahead. If you have an area of weakness that makes you nervous (mine is math), buy ONE workbook from a given curriculum and try it out. Singapore and Aleks are nice for math because they're cheap. But don't commit to anything until you've gotten the lay of the land.

OK, I'll leave you alone now. I promise!

Hi - I've got a "hothousing" question. I know DS4 can read at about the 2nd grade level, because he did actually read chapters of Frog and Toad (which says it's 2nd grade level) to us a few months ago. This was pretty much the one and only time he said "i want to read to you." But now he doesn't want to read. We've never pushed him to. We ask him things like "do you want to read one page/paragraph, and I'll read the next?" But he just doesn't want to - he just wants us to read to him. Which we're happy to do.

So here's my question(s): Did your kids all just have the desire to start reading by themselves, or did you push a little? Do you think we should be doing anything else at this point, or just keep following his lead? (OK - perhaps selfish reasons for this - it would be a nice diversion if he'd give us a break and do a little reading on his own!)

thanks.