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I'm really affected by this stuff, too...ever since I had cancer when I was a child. My health hasn't ever been the same since I had chemo and I fear getting a different type now.

I was the only one in my family who could / would talk to my grandfather about his feelings about dying in an honest way... this reminded me of him.

Wow Island - you have been facing this for a long time. I really connected where she did not go for the short pat answers.

I am glad you had your grandfather and that he was so honest about his feelings. Most people don't want to hear about it. You probably meant a lot to him.

I just started reading this. We've communicated before, and we're not in the same area, right? I'm kind of in the same spot where I live. It is tough to be somewhat socially isolated.

Back to the regularly scheduled discussion (which I'll read more of and see if I have anything salient to add)...

Cricket2,

We are in Lamar (southeast corner). I feel differently when I am in the regular part of Colorado. We just got back from a weekend in Denver.

lol re "the regular part of Colorado." We're not in Denver either, but probably somewhere more "regular" than Lamar.

I had a lot of issues that I wanted to leave behind when I lived in the SF Bay area, but in hindsight after leaving there, I had a lot more like souls in that area than where I am now.

I do also wonder if there is something about being older that makes finding friends more of a challenge in that the only natural places where you meet other adults/potential new friends tend to be work and kids' schools. Having HG+ kids puts a bit of kink in finding parent friends especially during the early years when there is a lot of parental ego tied up in child development.

I've loved finding the few others with gifted-HG kids with whom it isn't a parental pissing contest. I've also loved the few parents who can gracefully recognize that differences exist and not be defensive about it.

Work has been hit and miss for me. It is interesting in looking back at my college years and realizing that many of my friends were guys. There is something about all woman groups that doesn't work sometimes. I work in a field that is very heavy on females. I am developing a few female friend groups that are not catty, though, which is nice.

I agree that I have had many male friends in my past. I am originally from Austin where there is a high number of educated people. Here only 5% are college educated.

I have finally (after 4 years) made a few friends that are educated. It helps tremendously. I've always had a difficult time finding truly interesting friends though. I enjoy a stimulating conversation.

And by stimulating, I mean not about nails or tattoos. LOL I am one of the few here without tattoos. That is a major topic here.

This is a great thread

I think the thing I struggle with most as a gifted adult is STILL asynchrony. I am relatively young compared to the other mums at dd's school, my friendship group and compared to my work peers (between 10 -20 years younger). I still find myself being shocked at people's immaturity and poor decision making, their lack of personal insight and so on. Sometimes I feel so old as I listen to other people and like Val, I often can't underestand how they miss where they are going wrong. Yet on the other hand there are many things that I'm interested in that are age appropriate for me (going to see bands, pop culture, particular kinds of humor etc), and which they are well and truely done with.

It used to make me angry and resentful. Now I just feel kind of isolated (despite having a lovely group of gifted friends in that mix). I've never had the 'let rip' relationship (though sometimes I wonder if they really exist - whether maybe you can only ever really hope to find a few different people that different bits of you can 'let rip' with; if that's the case I do kind of have that and so perhaps I'm pretty lucky). I haven't had a chance to read the Growing Old Gifted article yet, but even the comments made about it in this thread resonated. I think I always assumed I would plateau and others would catch up as I got older and I'd find I finally fitted, but that hasn't been the case - doesn't sound like it will be either!

I will say that I've found my entire adulthood experience extremely unpleasant, particularly when compared with my childhood.

A lot of that has to do with being bored out of my mind most of the time and having no actual friendships.

Life's pretty darn easy when you're a kid. At least if you are a well-funded kid.

Thanks for being so honest, JonLaw. I have been disappointed in my life as well. I have had friendships and that has helped me. I am also bored quite a bit - but a lot of that has to do with my heart failure and lack of energy (etc.)

I have had some great experiences also. My experiences and interesting conversations are the most fun I have had as an adult.

Being a young mom was my favorite time. My daughter is now 15 and our relationship is more difficult. This phase is very tough for me - maybe my worst.

I just need to find something to go do with myself that actually means something to me. So, theoretically, I should be able to solve my problem.

Severe congestive heart failure frustrating to have because it saps your energy and then you have to cart around an oxygen tank.

So, you've got "teenage girl" angst on top of severe medical condition. Not fun at all.