Gifted Issues Discussion homepage Forums Parenting and Advocacy How to tell neighborhood moms about dd's skip

I think less is more. Just tell them that you and her father, her teacher, her principal and she decided that this would be for the best.
You aren't responsible for their feelings about it and you don't have to answer questions that are inappropriate. Let them know that your dd still wants to be friends with their children. Be confident in what you've chosen for your family! You've clearly thought it through and are taking the best course of action you know! There is power in that confidence!

We didn't have kids so near in the neighborhood, so we didn't tell many people except the friends who know him best and were not surprised. we just waited for questions after school started and said that the principal and the teachers thought it was more appropriate. But our DS was younger--skipping 1st. I would say in your case keeping it simple would be good. E.g., "just wanted to let you know that the school thought that 7th would be a better fit for DD. I'm glad that she has such good friends nearby in the neigborhood so it will be easy to stay friends after school."

If you are skipping OUT of the class, I see no reason for you to say anything. Just tell the kids whose class she is skipping into. No need to involve parents--no good way to tell them and their kids will do that for you. My dd told the friends she was leaving--that way, she got to control the message going out.
If your dd knows the rising 6th graders, SHE should tell them. She's old enough to want to control the message, and let her say explain it however she wants to.

In my experience, telling one key player is all that's needed. It's such a big deal to kids that they will enjoy spreading the "secret". So you want to be sure the message is started with a reasonable person saying reasonable things (your dd to a trusted friend)

If there's an active parent group, you want to tell some adult that will get the word out to any curious minds in a way that satisfies them too. We messed up that one and got a phone call asking for volunteers. I realized afterward that this person volunteered to call in order to pepper me with questions. But, fortunately, it was a lady who likes to talk and it got turned around to me congratulating her on her fine choice in holding back her dd because yes, she is in the GT program and very popular.

I can't offer much sage advice because I really wimped out on telling people. It sounds like you are in a bit of a different situation, though, or at least I hope that you are. We had concerns with competitiveness, jealousy, and I guess some of the same worries about sounding like braggarts.

I wound up not telling virtually anyone and waiting for it to be found out via the grapevine, which is what it sounds like you are trying to avoid probably rightly so. The only people I had to tell were family members who were less than supportive as well and I was almost apologetic in telling them.

The only thing I can say that we did that probably made it sound less "braggy," when we started getting questions from others when it came out via grapevine was to say that we were approached by the school who felt that placing her in the next grade up would be a better fit. That was honest and it also seemed to go over better than suggesting that we felt that she was so advanced that she needed to be skipped. I tried to be short, simple, and not expand unless pressed.
I did get some questions about how we got her skipped, what types of information they needed, etc. and I probably didn't handle those as well.

Our son is about to skip first grade, and we are trying to figure out how to handle it, especially dealing with his best buddy's family. I think ultimately, it is going to improve their friendship, but the initial adjustment is going to be hard.