Gifted Issues Discussion homepage Forums Age or Ability Specific Forums Pre-school Asynchronicity makes me cry... no, literally

Yeah, we attempt the food thing, but have been lax lately. Time to get back on that train.

I think next year will be better. He's in a full-day preschool this year (for childcare purposes). Next year, he's attending 4k in Wisconsin, but it's a half day program. I'll be able to monitor how much he's eating at lunch (most days he wolfs down a few appealing items and then hurries off to play), and then make sure he sleeps. He HATES to nap, but really needs it. They have an hour "rest" time, but it's not really enough.

The physical activity thing is a valid point. They get a lot of large motor time at school, but more is never a bad idea. Now that spring has finally sprung, I can at least send him out into our little back "yard" (aka dirt patch) to dig a hole or something while we make dinner. Kid loves diggin' holes. We just got in the habit of NOT going outside because it was a long, seriously cold winter this year. I think we had one day above zero during the month of January.

I know the time-outs aren't working, and I do need to find something else. I mostly just want him to go sit on his bed because we both need a break... but getting him to stay there causes us both more frustration.

The being the younger kid at school makes alot of sense to me...my DD is like that also. She does try alot harder, and "proves" she is capable of having control over herself, when there are older kids.

I bet you'll have a fun summer and the 1/2 day 4K sounds good. I like the "shoving protein" thing, it's so true. I won't let DD go to school or anything "important" without that, and she really needs it for morning snack too.



Maybe if you feel more relaxed in the WI setting he'll feel better too. We can't help it, but sometimes the vibes we send out actually fuel the fire. I am very conscious of it, but sometimes life (and personal upbringing issues you have to deal with yourself!) gets in the way. But we do our best.

Today DD told me I was very beautiful and gave me a sweet kiss and a big long hug.

: - )

This paragraph, all of it. Thanks.

This sounds SO much like my Bear (now 5). I started looking into help for him just before he turned 3. I was faced with a whole lot of, "Yup, there's something wrong, but it's not bad enough or enough check marks on this list for us to help you." He has been tested for nearly everything in the book at this point and falls short of all of it by a check mark or two at the most.

The tantrums were helped a lot by using the occupational therapy technique called the Wilbarger brushing protocol (if I remember the name correctly). He went from over an hour tantrums every day or two (on top of about ten fifteen minute ones every day) to one fifteen minute one about once a week and only about 5 short ones a day.

Once he is comfortable in a group setting he behaves well there, but then loses it at home, often for MUCH longer than he was in the group setting. As far as I've managed to figure out it is because he is subconsciously anxious and worried about getting along with people, adjusting to new experiences, etc. Once he is at home, he is "safe" and all the stress can come out.

He NEEDS to eat regularly or it's all over.

This is the kid I used to have to pin down to brush his teeth. Then he'd just fuss. Finally just a month or so ago he is brushing on his own, rinsing and spitting. Getting dressed was the same thing. It just seems to take him longer to mature in some areas than other.

Sounds very familiar. In some ways, our 19 month-old who barely talks (but understands EVERYTHING) is more emotionally mature than Isaac is. It's mind-boggling sometimes.

Last night was a better night. This morning was a better morning. Tomorrow is my last day of work. I'm hoping we can decompress and relax over the summer.

You said four, right? It will probably get a lot better. I recall our ped, who admittedly didn't see the way dd13 behaved at home, telling me that, if they were still throwing huge tantrums at five, they'd suggest looking into it further. Up until then, it was expected.

In our house, tantrums looked like:

* it took two strong adults to get dd buckled into her car seat b/c she was arching her back and screaming hysterically
* the neighbors thought that I was abusing the kid b/c she screamed so loud and for hours at a time (and often this happened multiple times/day)
* I felt like there was no warning; she's just blow up over things that were intense to her emotionally or when things just got to be too much

Other parents told me to watch for clues of when she was getting tired or burned out but there weren't any. She's just flip and be inconsolable. She bit me, tried to choke me, screamed that she was going to pee on the floor and then do it... (some of this was getting better by your ds' age and she was lovely at preschool, just difficult like this for me).

At 13.5, she is a truly wonderful kid. She's been a truly wonderful kid for quite some time actually. She's also very mature and is usually assumed to be quite a bit older than her age. I don't think that it is only b/c she is grade skipped and placed with older kids that others think that she is older, though. She just comes across like an adult in talking to her except with dh, with whom she is still a real pain.

eta: in reading other parts of the thread, I did want to say that the only reason we could surmise as to why our dd was so much more challenging at home than preschool was a safety issue in her mind. She felt safe enough with me to know that I wasn't going to beat her for acting like that. Around strangers, she was on her good behavior and then just let down her emotional barriers at home.

I did like the book, Raising Your Spirited Child, when she was younger too. It's been a long time, but I recall that it had good advice for challenging, intense kids. I didn't realize that gifted was part of the picture at the time.

My little one also sounds similar, specially the with other people she is well behaved but walk into the house it all changes. The one thing that I have done that kind of works, is to time out me or the cat, or the toy rather than the kid.

Cricket- our two older ones sound so similar and some of our journey.. I too in the beginning had no idea of gifted and the surviving until they are five... and she now is treated as older by all partly due to looks and partly due to her conversational abilities.

You're welcome, smacca. (insert smiling emote that I haven't figured out how to do yet)

Too bad we all don't live on the same street.

My DD was intense from birth. Eventually they can channel it, all going well. That's part of why we're all here on this forum, to learn from each other how to do it.

Cricket2, my dd did that seat thing. And I'm so glad to hear how she's turning out.

For a multi-month stretch, maybe when DD was 4 (older than a toddler but not in K yet) I had to sit in the back seat with her, after an episode where she took off her seatbelt on an interstate, and we had to pull over and I had to get back there etc. etc. After that, for months, I was so nervous when I was alone with her, me driving, and didn't go very far for a good long while. She did it about 3 times in all during a rip-roaring intense tantrum that appeared to come out of nowhere.

She outgrew it, stage completely vanished, but those months were soooo tough.

Of course I really do believe in guardian angels!