Gifted Issues Discussion homepage Forums Age or Ability Specific Forums Pre-school Any advice/comments on DS's behavior?

As I mentioned in a couple of my other posts, I take DS to a Mommy and Me Spanish class. We have been going since he was one, so February marked our two year anniversary of attendance.

This is a very informal class. We attend at the teacher's home, and she uses lots of manipulatives. During the 2011-2012 school year, there is only one other child in the class, a little girl who is two. Whenever she attends, DS is super hyper and sometimes distracted and unwilling to participate. He wont answer questions that I know he knows--we go over it at home. It has been to the point where I have pulled him aside( in a private area) to calm him down and encourage him to participate. Whenever she is not there (like yesterday), he is the (mostly) model student. He answers the questions, participates fully, etc.

Does anyone have an idea of why he is behaving like this? I just cannot figure it out.

How old is he? Is the other child behaving, well, like a 2yo? Sometimes kids do act like the other kids they're around in order to blend in. He might also just want to play with her.

I'm going to go with, he's 2.

Obviously he's reacting to the presence of the other child in some way. My guesses are:

- He sees another kid and would rather play with her than learn Spanish.
- He's just so happy to have another kid there (emotional sensitivity works in all directions) that he's having trouble containing himself.

We see the second thing all the time in DD7's guitar class... she LOVES the class so much that she gets too giddy and silly to focus.

OK, so according to my math he's 3 (?). Sounds like he's acting like a 3 year old

He's probably paying attention to what you're interested in when there's no one else around to pay attention to, but when the other 2 year old is there, he wants to play with her.

FWIW, we took our kids to language lessons when they were 3 and younger, but we were in a group setting with usually around 4-6 kids. The lessons were given at the teacher's house, and everything was play- or craft-based in some way. There was a lot of movement and kid-exciting activities, combined with a treat at the end of each class. Lots of singing kid songs too (in the other language of course!). I think my kids paid as much attention to the other kids as they did to the teacher, but the language lessons sunk in because although each language had a focus, the teaching done through a lot of talking while the kids were working on something with their hands. It wasn't immersion in the total sense but it was somewhere in between immersion and explicitly practicing words.

If we'd been going to just-mommy-and-me lessons for awhile and then another 2-year-old showed up, my kids would have been all about playing with the other kid!

Best wishes,

polarbear

My son who is 5 is the same way. For us it mostly has to do with the age of the other kid(s). He is very mature with 6-10 year olds and fits in well. When he plays with kids his own age he gets all wild and silly and has trouble controlling himself. I'm pretty sure he just thinks he's allowed to act like that because the other kids do. I try to put him in situations where he learns good behaviors and talk to him before a situation where I know he will have a hard time and tell him just because some kids act a certain way doesn't mean it's ok for him to do it. He has plenty of time to run and be a crazy kid when he is not in a lesson and I know he is very capable of acting mature so I encourage that in learning situations. I it was me I'd probably let them run crazy before the lesson and then explain that lessons are a time for being calm and paying attention. This is a skill which I think is important for my kid because I know learning makes him happy and this will help him as he gets further along in school and life. Good luck =].

Your DS is so young! Wow I can't believe you were able to stick with a class for two years.

My DD could easily have been the girl in class affecting your DS, this has happened so many times.

She's 8 and it still happens. And she still gets giddy if there is something to get excited about. I think that's what they're supposed to do. Kids love to connect with each other. It's frustrating if you want him to be a model student, but otherwise it seems pretty normal to me, as well as healthy.

Sorry for not being clearer--he is 3. She does pay attention more than he does, but sometimes one of them will get distracted and they will both lose focus. It is an active class with lots of things to touch and do, crafts, singing and games. Polarbear, it sounds similar to the class you described.

Thank you for all your responses. It helps to have onjective opinions. I definitely think he just wants to play. Funny, I didnt think of that on my own. He is an only child, and this is the only time when he is around another child and not just allowed/expected to play.

hmmm, sounds like an extrovert who is excited to see another kiddo, to me! I kind of still go bonkers with extra people around.

My DD is a classic extrovert, it sometimes overrides any EG/PG attributes. Which I admit is rather frustrating when there is only one place or time you want them to be focused.

She is very much like my grandmother, who was also an only child, very bright and talented, but loved the roar and crowds of a good football or hockey game, and a fun gathering! So I can have someone to sort of compare DD to.