Gifted Issues Discussion homepage Forums Age or Ability Specific Forums Pre-school Preschool and Asynchronous Development

Due to cutoff in our area, we won't be able to enroll DS3 into preschool until this fall.

DS is very advanced in some areas (e.g. visual/spatial) and on track in other areas (e.g. can only name a couple of colors).

Lately, I have noticed he either refuses or does a sloppy job on things that are not his level but at his age-appropriate level.

If he is ahead in all areas, it would be a slam dunk. Since he is not, how should I address his asynchronous development in the preschool search?

We've had both of our children in a play-based preschool, and it's been a wonderful fit for both of them. A good friend with gifted children has/had hers in a different play-based preschool, with the same great results. If I were in your shoes, I'd look for a play-based curriculum, which will meet your DS at whatever level he's at.

My DD3 is also in a play-based preschool and it is a great fit. He loves it! He was a late-talker and is still a little behind his peers with verbal expression. On the other hand, he is head and shoulders above the rest of his classmates in so many other areas. For us, the biggest bonus is that the differences are noted but not highlighted. He, for all the world, is a completely normal three year old in that class.

DS 4 has been in a play based preschool since 3 and has enjoyed it. Academically there is no fit (but that would have been near impossible anyway)but he has really developed socially, become more independent, learnt about school readiness (ie sitting listening in a group etc, show and tell) and he loves to play as much as he loves to learn. It is amazing how some of those "sloppy" things improve with some friendly competition!

We talked Mr W into Prek with 4/5 year olds when he was 3.5 as he blew through his Montessori Primary class in about 4 months.

His areas of asynchrony were his handwriting/coloring and emotional reaction when he did not get his way.

The handwriting soon was on par with his classmates, his art is phenomenal, and his emotional intensity is still a challenge, but getting better.

Bobbie's comment about friendly competition is true. Mr W has to emulate the best of his class peers and it keeps him on his toes.

We sent both of ours to Kumon

We also have ds4 in a play-based preschool (it is montessori-inspired but I wouldn't call it montessori even though the owner does), and we're really happy with it.

I wanted to add to look at mixed age preschools. ds's goes from 2.5 to 6 and that is great for his asynchronies, he just fits in somehow.

We nearly didn't find his preschool because it sounded like a different philosophy than we wanted -- turns out hearsay and statements of philosophy mean nothing compared to actually going and observing.

Polly

DS1 (3.5 y/o, barely 3 when he started) has THRIVED in preschool for this very reason. When he started, he would NOT color or draw. Because he wasn't good at it (poor kid has my ability, or lack of ability, when it comes to drawing), he would just ask us to draw things for him. Going to preschool, and being with a bunch of kids his age and older, and seeing them drawing things that are... not always recognizable, has turned him into an art fiend. He's still probably near the bottom of the pile when it comes to artistic renderings at school, but he ENJOYS it. He draws and cuts and glues and any manner of fun things.

Preschool, then, for us (YMMV), actually helped us deal with his asynchronous nature. Yes, he's reading and adding and subtracting and that's all mind-blowing and awesome (though I don't think his teachers really know what he can do and DS1 is not a show-offer these days... and in some ways I'm not inclined to tell them), but he's also having to explore stuff that he wouldn't touch at home because it wasn't his "thing."

Yeah, he does his "best" work when it's stuff he's good at, and I think that's human nature, but it has been nice to see him expand his horizons beyond what he's good at. Mixed-age is good for us right now. I'm not sure how this will go next year when he's one of the older kids, as he's already kind of maxing out their "academic" stuff, but we'll cross that bridge when we come to it.

DD3 just made the cutoff to attend preschool this year and we also chose a play based school. She is extremely advanced academically (reading very well, math on her fingers, into science and history) but her fine motor skills and especially her social skills (shyness and quirks) mask it tremendously.

I can say that she loves her preschool and has made great strides there socially. I can also say that we have no problems with the academics not being at her level. There are none. And, I know she is learning a lot of age-appropriate stuff there through play--things like sharing, waiting your turn, listening, following directions, independence, etc. She is weaker in the visual special realm, and school is great for that. It is also great that she is the youngest by six months, and most kids are a year older due to redshirting.

She too, looks like a completely normal 3-year-old at school which is what we wanted, and want for at least the next year or so. We are not all convinced that she is gifted and will absolutely need accommodations when she is older. This is probably because of her asynchrony and personality. For now, it is quite easy to bypass any stress of schooling an advanced child via the play-based route.

We ended up putting DS3 in a Montessori preschool starting this fall. We will see how it goes.

Unfortunately, we don't have any play-based preschool around here.