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Joined: Mar 2012
Posts: 76
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Posts: 76 |
Been working on this email for a couple of days - it's going to his teacher AND principal. Before I sent it, I wanted to get some feedback from people who may be a bit more experienced than me in dealing with these issues. I still feel that it doesn't make my point entirely, but I'm not sure how to do it without alienating the very people in a position to help my son! Thanks in advance!
Ms Ferry,
I'm sorry to keep going on and on about this, but I am seriously concerned about Andrew's total lack of a challenge at school. As I have said before, I know you have a lot of students in your class, and can not possibly cater to all of them. However, I have spoken to you several times this year about how to challenge him in school, and it seems to me that very little is actually being done. Andrew tells me he rarely does the more advanced math that he was promised. We talked about giving him homework that was different - and that lasted about a week before he was right back to doing the exact same sheets he did last year. Monday I pulled out his old workbook from last year - he not only did all of this week's worksheets last year, but he had the exact same answers. So he is not even improving from the last time he did this! I hate to ever say that a child is wasting his time in school - but in this case, I sincerely believe that he is. Please keep in mind that I am not holding you entirely responsible for this. I know that part of it is due to scheduling issues, which is why he was not able to do third grade math this year, and part of it is simply that the North Carolina curriculum is built on the assumption that second graders simply can not do any more than they are already doing. I find that assumption utterly ridiculous, and there is no doubt in my mind there are other students in the same situation as Andrew - bored to tears and unable to do anything about it.
Research has shown over and over again that it is extremely important for a child to be stimulated in early grades, so that they learn the skills needed to do well when things get more difficult later on. As someone who was never challenged until well into high school, I can personally tell you how difficult it is to learn how to work hard at something when you are 15 years old and have never had to do that before. I am not asking you to turn my child into a genius - just that he has to occasionally do something that may be only slightly outside his comfort zone.
My first instinct was to let this go, and start fresh at the beginning of next year. But this has been an ongoing problem for the nearly two years Andrew has been at BCE. While I do, for the most part, think Blue Creek is a good school, I also think they sometimes get so carried away with ensuring that everyone is keeping up (don't get me wrong, this SHOULD absolutely be a priority) that they lose track of the fact that some kids are not getting the education that they need and deserve. In the past year and a half, Andrew has gone from a child who loved school, to one who has little interest in going to school and would rather stay home and have me teach him new concepts. He has all but stopped putting effort into his assignments, because quite honestly, he has been working on the same material for two solid years. I am not, by any means, excusing his lack of focus. But can we blame him? He genuinely believes that everyone thinks he is stupid because they don't think he can do anything he has not already learned. (Those are his words, not mine).
My point is that something needs to be done. I realize this is a large problem in almost every school, and my child is far from the only one having this problem. But I also realize that I have no access to those other children. My son (and my daughter, when the time comes) are the only ones for whom I have the power to advocate, and I intend to do so. If we need another conference, just let me know and I will be there. If there is another program for him (I should add that he LOVES his AIG class, but that doesn't account for the other 34 hours of the week that he spends at school) let me know and I will consider it. For that matter, if there is something that I personally can do to help, I will be glad to do so. But SOMETHING needs to be done.
I would appreciate if someone would either email me, or call me XXX-XXXX and let me know if there are any options available for Andrew. Thanks in advance!
Sincerely,
Michelle
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Joined: Jul 2010
Posts: 948
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Been working on this email for a couple of days - it's going to his teacher AND principal. Before I sent it, I wanted to get some feedback from people who may be a bit more experienced than me in dealing with these issues. I still feel that it doesn't make my point entirely, but I'm not sure how to do it without alienating the very people in a position to help my son! Thanks in advance!
Ms Ferry,
I'm sorry to keep going on and on about this, but I am seriously concerned about Andrew's total lack of a challenge at school. As I have said before, I know you have a lot of students in your class, and can not possibly cater to all of them. However, I have spoken to you several times this year about how to challenge him in school, and it seems to me that very little is actually being done. Andrew tells me he rarely does the more advanced math that he was promised. We talked about giving him homework that was different - and that lasted about a week before he was right back to doing the exact same sheets he did last year. Monday I pulled out his old workbook from last year - he not only did all of this week's worksheets last year, but he had the exact same answers. So he is not even improving from the last time he did this! I hate to ever say that a child is wasting his time in school - but in this case, I sincerely believe that he is. Please keep in mind that I am not holding you entirely responsible for this. I know that part of it is due to scheduling issues, which is why he was not able to do third grade math this year, and part of it is simply that the North Carolina curriculum is built on the assumption that second graders simply can not do any more than they are already doing. I find that assumption utterly ridiculous, and there is no doubt in my mind there are other students in the same situation as Andrew - bored to tears and unable to do anything about it.
Research has shown over and over again that it is extremely important for a child to be stimulated in early grades, so that they learn the skills needed to do well when things get more difficult later on. As someone who was never challenged until well into high school, I can personally tell you how difficult it is to learn how to work hard at something when you are 15 years old and have never had to do that before. I am not asking you to turn my child into a genius - just that he has to occasionally do something that may be only slightly outside his comfort zone.
My first instinct was to let this go, and start fresh at the beginning of next year. But this has been an ongoing problem for the nearly two years Andrew has been at BCE. While I do, for the most part, think Blue Creek is a good school, I also think they sometimes get so carried away with ensuring that everyone is keeping up (don't get me wrong, this SHOULD absolutely be a priority) that they lose track of the fact that some kids are not getting the education that they need and deserve. In the past year and a half, Andrew has gone from a child who loved school, to one who has little interest in going to school and would rather stay home and have me teach him new concepts. He has all but stopped putting effort into his assignments, because quite honestly, he has been working on the same material for two solid years. I am not, by any means, excusing his lack of focus. But can we blame him? He genuinely believes that everyone thinks he is stupid because they don't think he can do anything he has not already learned. (Those are his words, not mine).
My point is that something needs to be done. I realize this is a large problem in almost every school, and my child is far from the only one having this problem. But I also realize that I have no access to those other children. My son (and my daughter, when the time comes) are the only ones for whom I have the power to advocate, and I intend to do so. If we need another conference, just let me know and I will be there. If there is another program for him (I should add that he LOVES his AIG class, but that doesn't account for the other 34 hours of the week that he spends at school) let me know and I will consider it. For that matter, if there is something that I personally can do to help, I will be glad to do so. But SOMETHING needs to be done.
I would appreciate if someone would either email me, or call me XXX-XXXX and let me know if there are any options available for Andrew. Thanks in advance!
Sincerely,
Michelle oops...posted too soon. I am so sorry you have had such difficulty getting your son's needs met. The advice I would give about the e-mail would be to make it more concise, and break it into paragraphs. Other than that I think there are others here who can give much better input. I think as it stands, while I totally agree with you that you have valid points, perhaps you could adjust your tone in the hopes of getting a more productive response from the teacher. I would also say try to stick closely to facts, if possible. But I also think the things I bolded are what struck me, and hopefully would get the teacher's and principal's attn. I also think you must get the book From Emotions to Advocacy. It is well worth the investment. Good luck, your son is fortunate to have you in his corner!
Last edited by deacongirl; 04/19/12 02:05 PM.
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Joined: Jul 2011
Posts: 2,007
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Been working on this email for a couple of days - it's going to his teacher AND principal. Before I sent it, I wanted to get some feedback from people who may be a bit more experienced than me in dealing with these issues. I still feel that it doesn't make my point entirely, but I'm not sure how to do it without alienating the very people in a position to help my son! Thanks in advance!
Ms Ferry,
I'm sorry to keep going on and on about this, but I am seriously concerned about Andrew's total lack of a challenge at school. As I have said before, I know you have a lot of students in your class, and can not possibly cater to all of them. However, I have spoken to you several times this year about how to challenge him in school, and it seems to me that very little is actually being done. Andrew tells me he rarely does the more advanced math that he was promised. We talked about giving him homework that was different - and that lasted about a week before he was right back to doing the exact same sheets he did last year. Monday I pulled out his old workbook from last year - he not only did all of this week's worksheets last year, but he had the exact same answers. So he is not even improving from the last time he did this! I hate to ever say that a child is wasting his time in school - but in this case, I sincerely believe that he is. Please keep in mind that I am not holding you entirely responsible for this. I know that part of it is due to scheduling issues, which is why he was not able to do third grade math this year, and part of it is simply that the North Carolina curriculum is built on the assumption that second graders simply can not do any more than they are already doing. I find that assumption utterly ridiculous, and there is no doubt in my mind there are other students in the same situation as Andrew - bored to tears and unable to do anything about it.
Research has shown over and over again that it is extremely important for a child to be stimulated in early grades, so that they learn the skills needed to do well when things get more difficult later on. As someone who was never challenged until well into high school, I can personally tell you how difficult it is to learn how to work hard at something when you are 15 years old and have never had to do that before. I am not asking you to turn my child into a genius - just that he has to occasionally do something that may be only slightly outside his comfort zone.
My first instinct was to let this go, and start fresh at the beginning of next year. But this has been an ongoing problem for the nearly two years Andrew has been at BCE. While I do, for the most part, think Blue Creek is a good school, I also think they sometimes get so carried away with ensuring that everyone is keeping up (don't get me wrong, this SHOULD absolutely be a priority) that they lose track of the fact that some kids are not getting the education that they need and deserve. In the past year and a half, Andrew has gone from a child who loved school, to one who has little interest in going to school and would rather stay home and have me teach him new concepts. He has all but stopped putting effort into his assignments, because quite honestly, he has been working on the same material for two solid years. I am not, by any means, excusing his lack of focus. But can we blame him? He genuinely believes that everyone thinks he is stupid because they don't think he can do anything he has not already learned. (Those are his words, not mine).
My point is that something needs to be done. I realize this is a large problem in almost every school, and my child is far from the only one having this problem. But I also realize that I have no access to those other children. My son (and my daughter, when the time comes) are the only ones for whom I have the power to advocate, and I intend to do so. If we need another conference, just let me know and I will be there. If there is another program for him (I should add that he LOVES his AIG class, but that doesn't account for the other 34 hours of the week that he spends at school) let me know and I will consider it. For that matter, if there is something that I personally can do to help, I will be glad to do so. But SOMETHING needs to be done.
I would appreciate if someone would either email me, or call me XXX-XXXX and let me know if there are any options available for Andrew. Thanks in advance!
Sincerely,
Michelle I'm going to put on my "bureaucrat" hat and think about this. My first emotional reaction is *aaaaahhhhh!* another complaint! Wow, this is long. I can't possibly read it. It sounds like it's attacking me, personally! My head hurts. I think I will ignore this and see if the problem magically goes away.
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Joined: Oct 2011
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You're in North Carolina, which means you're in one of the states with a legislative mandate for gifted services. I recommend you use this as your primary weapon: http://ftp.legislature.state.nc.us/...DF/ByArticle/Chapter_115C/Article_9B.pdfIn particular: (b) Each plan shall include the following components:
(1) Screening, identification, and placement procedures that allow for the identification of specific educational needs and for the assignment of academically or intellectually gifted students to appropriate services. And the key phrase there is "appropriate services," because obviously if you can show that your child is doing the exact same work this year as he was last year, they have failed to provide him with appropriate services. That becomes a phrase you use frequently in dealing with the school, because it lets them know that they have a legal obligation, and you know it, so they'd better fulfill it. Also, I'd drop all that language about "I know you have a lot of students in your class, and can not possibly cater to all of them," because according to that law, in the case of any academically or intellectually gifted child, the school is very much required to do just that. Pull up the local school board's policies for gifted services to see what the specific plan is.
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Joined: Dec 2010
Posts: 170
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First, I know you have already received some good suggestions here, but I would suggest that you start a new thread for this topic. Next,the letter is a bit long and accusatory. I know this is all very frustrating (and we have all been there) but I would send a short note requesting a meeting (ie I would like to touch base to see how you think he is progressing and get some insight on how to plan for next year) Before you have the meeting, I recommend that you read this document. http://print.ditd.org/young_scholars/Guidebooks/Davidson_Guidebook_Advocating.pdfI think it will help you frame your issues and think about other possible options for your DS. Good luck.
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Joined: Feb 2012
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Dear Michelle,
I can totally sympathize with the emotions that clearly come through in your letter, but please consider re-casting this letter to emphasize 1) the mythical awesomeness of the teacher and 2) your (also mythical) desire to please the teacher while helping your son to get what he needs. I do not mean to offend in any way, but having dealt with such teacher(s) this year I can tell you that being direct with such people (at least in our experience) and telling them they should be doing more (even if glaringly true) only causes them to dig in their heels and if it comes to that to try to show other faculty/administration how difficult you and/or your child are to deal with (even if all objective evidence is to the contrary). At least in public school you can't get kicked out--Hooray!! But remember your ultimate goal is to get a desirable end result for your kid. If it were me, I might think about reworking it a little to read something similar in spirit to:
Dear Ms. Ferry,
I so appreciate the effort you have made to accommodate DS and particularly the time he spends in his AIG class. You are indeed God's gift to teaching. Unfortunately, I am very concerned because I have been hearing from DS more and more that he does not like school because he does not find it challenging enough--and indeed, he is actually doing the same worksheets that he was doing last year (and still getting them right), so I can understand his frustration. I know that we both want what is best for him, and I know you are so very busy with x kids and would love to do whatever I can to help you--could I perhaps [monitor the lunchroom; bring you an apple every day; bring you coffee] to help the classroom move more smoothly so that you have more time to focus on the kids? I am very concerned that this repetitive material is actually causing DS's lack of focus in school and I very much do not want him to develop a negative attitude towards school and learning. I would be happy to meet with you to discuss any way that I can help.
Your devoted servant,
MI6
I sincerely hope I have not offended in any way. I think it is *ridiculous* (if not downright disgusting) that one might best approach the problem this way, but in our experience even indirectly telling somebody (at least in the South, or at least in NC where we also live!) that they should be doing something just does not get the results you want (even in private school, even when there are two teachers in the classroom. BTW, one of our teachers always finds the time to mention a) how smart her own daughter is and b) how many kids they have in the classroom--but of course she always forgets to divide by 2 because she and the other teacher are co-teachers, not a class where there is a teacher and an 'assistant.') Anyway, please just consider something along these lines, if you feel like you can stomach it (and have the time, etc.). All I can say is that I think being direct, although I agree it absolutely should work, may not. Of course, being indirect may not work either, but I think it has a better shot. Unfortunately I could not do the above with our present teachers with a straight face--although fortunately DD has had teachers where I could have said something similar and absolutely meant it.
Best of luck with this! I very much hope you can find a good solution for you and your DS. And I apologize if anyone was offended--just my opinion, based on our personal experience (that I wish very much had been different).
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P.S. I should have added, hopefully the sarcasm in the draft/suggested letter was readily apparent--and must be toned down to be believable. That's just my way of getting through some of this type of stuff. Sorry!
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I have written emails like this to get my anger and frustration out and then I have promptly thrown them away. You asked for feedback so I am going to be honest and hope not to offend. I believe that your email will be seen as an attack that will elicit a defensive response. You need to give them the facts briefly and try as much as possible to take the anger and frustration out. Using your son's words, tell them that your primary grade student does not want to go to school and thinks that his teacher doesn't believe in his abilities. After that, solicit her help in solving the problem together. Maybe you could bring up the repetitive curriculum in that context.
Last edited by knute974; 04/19/12 02:29 PM. Reason: hit submit too soon
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I'm with the others in urging you not to send that email. Wrightslaw does educational advocacy, mostly for children with disabilities and 2E, but I think the ideas from this "letter to a stranger" might help you reframe how you want to deal with the school in order to get them to meet your son's needs. It discusses how to get the school on your side. http://www.wrightslaw.com/advoc/articles/Letter_to_Stranger.htmlYour letter should probably reference your state law pertaining to the rights of gifted students, and ask for a meeting to discuss how the school is meeting your child's needs based on the state law. I would definite express concern that he is doing the same math he did last year. But it's so late in the year-- can you create a plan to challenge him through the year? Will he be ready for 4th grade math next year, since he basically hasn't had any new math instruction for an entire year? (That is such an unacceptable situation! Even if math schedules didn't match up with the 3rd grade, he should have been doing 3rd grade math.)
Last edited by syoblrig; 04/19/12 04:16 PM.
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Thanks for all the advice, everyone. I knew it wasn't where it should be. I am not, by nature, a confrontational person - and now that I'm kind of being forced to be one, I am finding that I'm just not very good at it. You would never guess I paid for my first two years of college on a debate scholarship, would you? I'll take all of this into account and rewrite it before I send it. Thanks again!
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