Gifted Issues Discussion homepage Forums Parenting and Advocacy A sad realization last week....

I had this odd moment last week. My daughter and I go to the local public school (ps) about once a week to check out books, help shelve books, and check out/check in books. My daughter adores the librarian there. While DD was in school, the librarian truly was her only saving grace while she was there.

We homeschool now.

So, anyway, we were in the library helping and in came a life skills class. Two students. Each has their own full-time aid. They have their complete own curriculum and classes. They were working on their colors and shapes, and this is the 3-5th grade school.

The sad part for me was that while I think it is completely awesome that they do this, my daughter (and those like her) who are on the other end of the spectrum can't get matched one bit to the curriculum that they need.
How is that the least bit fair? I was a bit mad and sad. Sad that the system won't put any effort into the other end of the spectrum. Sad that there are children like my daughter who are stuck in school and not getting what they need.

I just felt the need to share. It still is weighing heavily on my mind, to the point where I don't think I can handle going in there again when that class is there. My daughter was there as well and she is smart enough to put these things together, too.

I guess, it is something I always knew and certainly don't like but being in the same school that wouldn't accommodate her and watching this happen was a tad heart breaking.

This part aggravates me as well. I work in a school and see it everyday. People are willing to bend over backwards to make accommodations for struggling students. I don't begrudge them; however, where is all the support for gifted students? There has been so many laws and advocates for special needs students. Until more laws are created, it will be an uphill climb.

I think the pendulum has swung too far, and schools spend far too much on cognitively disabled students. Unfortunately, funding for these programs comes out of the general education budget and is one reason why the schools are so broke.

I'm not saying that kids with moderate to severe disabilities shouldn't get an appropriate education (I'm referring to disabilities that put them three or more years behind their peers). I just think we spend too much money on these programs.

Our society's educational priorities say a lot about itself.

Low ability: sympathy
High ability: jealousy

In our well-heeled district, it looks more like this:

Low ability: constant advocacy and possibly legal action to get what your child needs
Average ability: easier path through the system
High ability: constant advocacy and possibly legal action to get what your child needs

I don't think the divisive tenor of this thread is kind or reflective of the reality that it's typically very difficult to get an appropriate education for any child who's an outlier.

IMO all children should get an appropriate education.

DeeDee

DeeDee, I don't think that the posts here have said that some children shouldn't get an appropriate education (actually, most of the posters specifically said the opposite).

The numbers speak for themselves:


I've cited only one source, but if you do a search, you'll find a lot of information supporting what I wrote here. I believe that this disparity was one of the major problems that drove the founding of the DITD.

DeeDee,

It is funny, I had a feeling someone would misunderstand what I was intending to say, so I hesitated on posting. I was just sharing my personal experience and saddness that my daughter isn't worthy of anything extra.

At our school, I was told that if they put my daughter ahead, she would be just as bored, so it is better to keep her where she is and just give her more work. Ack!

My point was, how can you deny some when others have so much. I don't think taking anything away from someone is the answer - I just don't understand why it isn't for all levels. That is all.
Exactly what you said - all children should have an appropriate education.

I am so thankful for places like this that make me feel not so alone. Thanks, all!

Again, not saying to take anything away from anyone.

Understood, Christine. I read your first post as MON did and come from a similar place on this as MON does.

We know a family locally that has a kid with Down's-- they are struggling to get anyone to realize their son is quite capable of learning to read. The special ed staff is overwhelmed enough with the even more severe needs of the other kids in his class that he isn't being educated appropriately, nor is he likely to reach his potential. It feels to me like a similar problem to yours, not an utterly different problem, even though the likelihood of your DD being successful in the end is much higher.

From where I sit (2E land), a need is a need. Many are going unmet. Public education promises a Chevy, not a Cadillac-- and yet lots of people don't even end up with a Chevy. We are solving this locally, ad hoc, by advocating like crazy for our child, knowing it will benefit those who come after, and supporting others in their advocacy (both for special needs and for gifted).

DeeDee

Yeah, I re-read my post and I see how it sounded. My apologies. Not my intention, for goodness sake. I know on both ends of the spectrum and everywhere in between requires advocation like crazy.