Gifted Issues Discussion homepage Forums Age or Ability Specific Forums Pre-school Your perception of other same age kids?

I couldn't agree more (as many of my previous posts state).

First day out-of-the house after a nasty bout of flu. I'm feeling much better and I'm enjoying more head clarity. ~sigh~

deacongirl, and others,
I'm truly sorry for being harsh in my arguments with you.

Clearly, I was using a sledge hammer to get my points across (and not just with you). It was both ineffectual and insensitive. There is some hypocrisy in this which I find kind of funny given my arguments. But you know, I like to practice what I preach--turning my critical eye on myself. lol.

Anyhow...
I blame flu-derived grumpiness + the frustration you feel in a conversation when both people are talking, but only one person is listening.

Being gentle when frustrated and grumpy is something I do need to work on.

What you said here is very true:

"NO one is acting like it isn't OK--there a million posts doing just that, it is the purpose of this forum.

Every parent here is one extra chromosome (although I suppose that brings up a 'whole nother issue better not getting into here), one head injury, one car accident away from finding out what it is like to have a kid on the other end of the curve. And there are already other parents here who live it daily. Just because I happen to have a kid with special needs doesn't mean I don't need a place to discuss his two gifted sisters."

Being gifted or "ND" or learning disabled or whatever isn't under our control. It is pretty much just an "accident" of birth and it can be taken away in an instant. So acting very superior about giftedness really just shows arrogance and also ignorance (but I consider behavior like that to be like a mom who brags and acts like her child is too good for the others because he's gifted or whatever... if such a woman exists.)

There is also a spectrum, though. I don't think I felt very guilty thinking someone was slower or even "dumb" if they were a ND kid who treated me like crap all the time. (And I have to admit that as an adult I've had less than charitable thoughts about certain co-workers and managers...)

But I wouldn't be thinking mean thoughts about someone in special ed or someone struggling who never did a thing to me. And I've never had someone like that gang up on me in school.

None of this really has anything to do with whether babies look sleepy or glazed or not, though.

But I have heard other parents actively encourage their children to negatively judge other kids or not treat them nicely! I remember going over a friends home and the parents were basically mocking me and trying to get me to dance to some rock music since I took dance classes and their own daughter didn't. They were being jealous and mean-spirited. I was like 6 years old.

My sister and I told the parents of some girls who were throwing rocks at us or spitting on us or something at a park about what their kids were doing and they just laughed. I remember those girls being a part of the hateful popular crowd as they grew older.

On one hand, I did hear my mom judge others and she wouldn't always let me play with kids if she thought they were from bad homes...but on the other hand she ALWAYS yelled at us if we put down another kid for being poor or for any other reason because she grew up as that kid.

I was watching a rerun of 'The Big Bang Theory' this evening and felt the need to share because it made me lol at the timing.

Mrs. Cooper: "I've been telling you since you were four years old! It's okay to be smarter than everyone else, but you can't go around pointing it out!"
Sheldon Cooper: "Why?"
Mrs. Cooper: "Because other people don't like it!"

Teenage snark from a niece,
"The moment someone tells you you're not good enough is the moment you know you're better than them."

Apology accepted. I have lots of things I am working on !

As we are getting ready for my son's transition to a new school, (IEP mtg. on Monday) I found myself cringing at the terminology when he is referred to as "high-functioning". I know we (esp. educators) need a way to talk about these things...but the high-functioning/low-functioning wording seems so dehumanizing to me. I do think there are ways to respectfully have these conversations. I have learned that there are challenges getting the appropriate education for all of my kids, but I have found that in many areas my expectations of what those challenges would be were way off.

I have to say that it was way more frustrating, for example, teaching dd11 to ride a bike than teaching her little brother with Down syndrome. I very rarely get frustrated with him, because, as I said previously, I don't think it is possible to overstate the effort and perseverance he puts forth every day, and usually with a smile.

Your second paragraph was beautiful--I had the same feelings prior to becoming to a parent, but still didn't expect to experience it firsthand--and now am incredibly thankful for the experience of parenting all of them.

This sums up my high school experience, particularly with my father.

The results of OLSAT testing for all third graders just came out in our district, to determine who gets into the G/T program for next year. My son rocked it with 99th% on it. We haven't told a soul- there have been a spate of articles in our local newspaper how their child didn't get in, it isn't fair, all kids should stay in the same classroom together. Etc.
Earlier in the third grade year, the teacher apparently went over what sounds the letters made, because some of the kids needed that information! I don't think people realize how different gifted children can be from the norm.

Love it!

lucounu, deacongirl,

I have a friend whose boy has severe autism and apraxia. He is the opposite of high-functioning. Whenever I hear her talk wistfully about him *maybe someday* moving to the high functioning program (or even the mid-functioning program) I get tears in my eyes.

The surprising thing is that she knows all about my son (from a mutual friend), and she talks about him without the least jealousy or pain. She makes me feel OK that my son is who he is and she does so in a way that many mothers of typically-developing children don't.

I can't help but feel horrible around her, but I like to talk about the ways her child is amazing, and you know it's really not difficult to find those.



I was raised differently. My parents subscribed to Howard Gardners theory of the Intelligences, (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Theory_of_multiple_intelligences).

My brother has dyslexia and was surrounded by gifted siblings. Everything was more difficult for him. Maybe to compensate, and maybe because my parents truly didn't believe they were better than anyone else, we were raised to not notice or make a big deal out of our giftedness. Yes, we were in the programs, but no, my parents never talked about it with anyone, not even us. I didn't even realize my dad was PG until my son was born and he told me how he was tested when he was young. It never occurred to him that this was important.

They like to focus on the things that made every person unique. They don't spend time comparing or judging others, or at least, not in my hearing. My brother with dyslexia loved planes. My parents focused on that, and not how difficult school was for him. He is now a commercial pilot, and maybe the confidence to achieve that came from never feeling like he was less.

Because you know, he isn't.