Gifted Issues Discussion homepage Forums Age or Ability Specific Forums Pre-school Your perception of other same age kids?

Well, you can actually explain it that way without calling someone slow. I tell my son and his friends that it may take him longer to learn things, and he has to try harder. So yes, he is slower to learn, but if adults on this forum don't get that the connotation of calling someone slow is different than that I don't know how to explain it.

And yes, I felt the same way about the slow pace of school as a kid.

lol. maybe!

I don't believe that the posters who were talking about differences between their children and others on this thread meant to offend. I will continue to defend them because I think it's wrong to be so judgmental.

I do believe that some of the posters who decided to pass judgement on the earlier posters were trying to offend. I will continue to direct them to their own hypocrisy.


That said, I do believe it's important to use tact and sensitivity when discussing our children, especially outside of these forums, but inside as well. I'm an advocate of that. I just don't believe people should have to walk on eggshells in these forums.

Thank you.

JonLaw,

Don't you have some legal brief to work on?
You are making me laugh too hard over here.

I just asked my husband about this and he's a pretty caring sensitive guy...
He thinks we should feel comfortable talking about stuff like this, since we are in the "company of our own peers"... other people who might "get it".


Has it occurred to you guys how offensive it might be to person who has a child who is... ND. We have a special acronym around here... ND.. for normally developing children. We have a very specific acronym, just so we can easily distinguish between what a "ND" does and what our children do. There is no tip toeing around it... this whole forum is about how gifted children are different.

Geesh, JonLaw, if anybody was offended by those words I'd say they were offends by what they heard and not really by what you said. (I'm sure that's not about the title of this thread, dear lurkers. This thread is on a path of it's own.). I think it's the "forum guidelines discussion - revisited, for those who missed it.)

Here's that thread. IIRC we talked a lot about censorship & sensitivity.

http://giftedissues.davidsongifted.org/BB/ubbthreads.php/topics/108426/1.html

I have just re read my own post and I feel bad about the tone of it, it came out sounding nasty. But in fact I do have that exact conversation very regularly with my DH. People keep telling me to "stand around and chat with the other parents" to make friends for myself or my kids. To "spend some time in the classroom" to see where my kids are at or how best to support them. And I see other parents can actually to this because their toddlers just sit there, while mine is running with scissors or writhing in my arms like a screaming octopus. Sure I know they'll likely be great adults. By more of the good stuff has also come with more of the "absolute nightmare to parent from 6 months to 3+ years old". I would LOVE to make some friends, have more playdates for my older kids, spend time in the classroom etc. but one's toddler needs to be a bit more managable than mine is for that to work. It would be such a relief to have her sit nicely on my arm like a handbag just once. I am mentally and physically exauhsted.... Yeah I notice other people's kids are different, and short term I wish mine were too and that lead to me sounding far nastier in my first post than I intended. I don't love how different and difficult my toddler is in public. Yes she's "more", it's not always a good thing, though when she's not screaming like a banshee other people appear to find her fascinating.

Oh and for whoever asked, I HAVE had an older sibling ask loudly in the supermarket why our toddler was so much bigger, taller and smarter than all the other kids her age. That was yet another "will the ground just swallow me up now please" moment, I did not have a good answer ready and "she's not" would be patently untrue...she is all of those things.

I definitely had no issue with your original reply. Please don't take this as me attacking your most recent reply or anything... because I totally feel you on how difficult an intense toddler can be... but do you see what you did there?

It's the same thing I saw on a slew of gifted parenting mommy blogs when they replied to the BabyCenter lady.

Every post basically said, "Don't resent that my kid is gifted... It is hard having gifted kids and here are all the extra things we deal with... so stop feeling jealous and hateful toward us."

To me, it feels like the model gorgeous girl who dumbs herself down or plays up other issues she has so that the other girls can make themselves feel better, hate her less, and maybe even include her. (Yeah, she is beautiful - but she's dumb, so she's not all that.)

Giftedness has some extra issues that come along with it, but I really don't think they negate the academic advantage that does exist and why moms like BabyCenter mom feel compelled to write posts like that.

I think you are fully allowed to say you've noticed other kids hanging out with their moms the way handbags do. Because it is true and very different from your every day experience. You shouldn't need to elaborate about how tough it is... because *we* (here... in this gifted forum) already should understand.

If someone stumbles in from google and doesn't get it or gets offended... then they are having a different experience in life and that is just fine.

(I've been enjoying a glass of Sangria, so I hope this comes out right.)