Gifted Issues Discussion homepage Forums Parenting and Advocacy DD8 reading Anne Frank at school

It sounds to me like you are really leaning toward telling her she is too young and too sensitive to read this book right now, but are struggling with censoring her. My two cents - I have a really hard time with many of these subjects as an adult, particularly current events. Things stick with me and upset me for a really long time after learning about them. I have had to stop reading books as an adult because I couldn't handle the content, and sometimes I just have to turn NPR off, because I know I will relive a certain story in my head for months if I don't. If your daughter has that sensitivity to injustices in the world, she could read this book and carry its feelings around inside for a long time.

I've told DS7 and DD4 that some books are just too old for them right now (we're talking later Harry Potter books, not Anne Frank, but it's a similar concept). They can read them at a later time, but for right now, we need to let them rest. I think everyone's suggestions to talk about the book with your DD and let her make her own decisions are good, but she also doesn't have the context to know how disturbing some of what she might encounter may be. My DD4 thinks she can handle "anything" because in her mind, Scooby Doo is as scary as the world gets. My point being, their perspective is thankfully much more innocent.

More responses came through as I was writing, and I really like the suggestions people have on talking to children about difficult subjects and providing ways for them to make sense and feel some level of empowerment about what they're learning.

I have not read the book since I was in elementary school, so you may want to read through it first to check the content, but I remember enjoying "Number the Stars" by Lois Lowry. It deals with many of the ethical dilemmas of the Holocaust, but I don't remember it having any of the more graphic portrayals (gas chambers, etc.) It also helped me having the story written from the perspective of a child perceiving the situation, as the main character had to wrestle with the same confusion that I had as someone reading about the events.

Hmm.

I have a second-grader, too, and I think I would be hesitant to have her read Anne Frank yet.

The biggest problem for me is that it is true, not make-believe.

In DD's case, I do read her fiction that is aimed at older kids. But she doesn't read it to herself. That way we can talk over the more sensitive issues as we go.

That might be a compromise here. If she is that gung-ho about the book, maybe you can read it TO her. Then you can censor a sentence here and there, if need be, and discuss the concepts as you go.

Also, you might talk to the librarian. At DD's school, certain fiction is set aside for older kids. Younger kids can check it out, but need a note from home first -- a good middle ground, in my opinion.

This can be a learning experience for her in a very special way. If it were my daughter I would tell her, "I do want you to read this book. I want you to read it and love it the way I did. However, I would rather you wait to read it when you are a bit older but I will not stop you."
Best case, she will put the book down and walk away.
Worst case, she reads it-falls apart-you're able to give her a gentle "I done told you!" and she maybe learns that you really are in her corner with recommendations.
It's a tough situation!

After a talk last night in which I told her the basic facts about the holocaust and the Frank family's experience, DD has decided to stop reading the book. I'm honestly really surprised, but thankful.

I have not read the other responses. But I clearly remember being 9 and reading it, and having my mom tell me to stop reading it because it was too sad. I really really resented that because I knew it was sad but I felt like it was important. I hid behind the couch to finish it. It would have been better for her to discuss it with me in an age appropriate way than to try to prevent me from reading it.

when DS was 10 he read "the boy in the striped pyjamas" at school which I was not happy about. Too much too soon - I was really upset when I heard about the death camps when I was 13, and I'm a lot tougher than DS10.

Sounds like a nice outcome. As a parent of a GT child, I know that we have to step in when ability is high, but age is just not there yet. Just because they can does not mean they should.