Gifted Issues Discussion homepage Forums Parenting and Advocacy "I am smarter than you, dad", my answer to DD6 was

"you have smarter and dedicated parents and much better opporunities"

My argument was she had much better opportunities, than I had (I never remember my parents taking me to Library and most summers were spent earning extra money, in a foreign country) and told DD she should use all these opportunities to much better effect

Here the concept of nature vs nurture and both together influencing outcome

I just want to hear what your experiences are and comments to this

I would always ask "In what way?"
Because it's the sort of thing that could mean 1,000,000 different things to a child.

I would tell my dd not to be disrespectful. And leave it at that.

I like the answer "In what way?".

I might have said "What makes you say that?" or "Why do you think that?" if my son said this to me, looking for more information on where he was coming from and what response he was looking for.

But given that he is an avid RPGer, I'd have probably just said "Possibly, but I still have you beat on Wisdom, Dexterity, Strength, and Charisma, so don't get overconfident."

Excellent answer!!!!

DeeDee

I got attitude from one of my students last year. I said, "You need to listen to directions and follow them, because between you and me, *one* of us has been to seventh grade."

This answer tickles my nerd-bones.

For me, I don't feel the need to make any argument about it. I don't know for certain that my daughter is smarter than me, since she is only 2 right now, and I didn't have the dedicated parents that she does. Would I have been capable of doing the things she does at the same age? I doubt it. So when this came up I just said something like:
"Yes, you're smarter, but I know a lot more about the world than you do."

If she were older I would have described how intelligence is a measure of potential, and does not make someone an expert on any subject. No one becomes an expert without working hard to acquire knowledge and understanding.

Awesome. I also like "In what way?".

My response to DS was the observation that a true appreciation of one's abilities is a strength, but that a big, brittle ego is a tremendous weakness (we had previously discussed Carol Dweck's mindset research). I also told him that my goal is to help him reach his full potential, and that I will be glad if he does so, but that it will take hard work. I remember also saying that no matter how capable he gets, I'll always be able to beat him at something, even if that's just pooping in my diaper.

I think this one of the main reasons many gifted (may be HG) kids fail to reach full potential.
From my personal experience I think I am not PG, but may be MG. I was never tested, skipped a grade and consistently the first in the class. I always used to beat my collegues, who are smarter than me by just hard work and keeping my foot on theground. I am a surgeon in one of highly specialized branch and all that acheived by hard work and some use of my gifted intelligence.
I put this in this forum to see any of you had similar experiences and how you dealt with it

Don't sell yourself or your intelligence short, just because you've worked hard to get where you are. I believe it to be a bit of a stereotype that only moderately gifted people wind up at the head of the class, in medical school, etc. while the highly gifted people are all tortured people who don't do well. Intelligence has a large genetic component, and highly gifted people can be highly successful with the right mindset. I agree completely that resting on one's laurels is a real risk for a highly gifted little one, though. It sounds like you're sending the right messages to your daughter.