Gifted Issues Discussion homepage Forums Age or Ability Specific Forums Pre-school Am I one of "those" parents?

I'm crazy tired so forgive me if my post isn't highly coherent. I did want to say, though, that my dds are right on the other side of our K cut (one actually didn't make it in the district she's in but CO has weird rules where different districts have different cuts and we started her in a different district to get around that).

That aside, both of my girls' pre-K teachers told me to hold them out b/c they would be too young. We didn't for either one. Dd13 skipped a grade on top of starting as a younger kid and I can't imagine it having worked at all had we waited.

Re feeling bad about the repeated school changes, I had some of that as well but there are times when it can't be helped. We did three different elementaries (one of them a charter), homeschooled a little, and have done different middle schools for each of the two kids. They've both also attended school in two different districts. I never would have imagined changing schools this often but the reasons we changed were legit:

The first district's GT coordinator told me that HG kids didn't last in the ps system and I should homeschool, we had options in one school that we didn't another (subject acceleration, more GT programming, better peer group, etc.). My personal experience as a kid with constant school changes wasn't good, but my kids both seem to have been okay with it.

I don't think you are being to pushy. We are facing/faced a similar issue with DD. She is about to turn 5- March b-day, but is reading 8th grade level, 3rd grade math, etc... I tried to get accommodation from the school here. I managed to get her tested by them. I was trying to get at least early entrance to K this year although looking back, I think it is a blessing in disguise. They didn't take their own psy recommendation and insisted on PreK this year even though she was even socially miserable. We don't have any other options here. There is one preschool/elementary school and one middle/high school on the island. And the final nail in the coffin was when the gifted coordinator (someone with no experience with gifted kids, its her side job, she is the ESL teacher) said "Sometimes gifted kids just have to be miserable in the elementary years" I was shocked! So we are homeschooling and DD is thriving. She is also involved in Girl Scouts (Daisy) now with girl 1-2 years older than her and is doing great socially now. And she is in a homeschool art class with kids up to 16. She is finally coming in to her own. If we had other options in schooling I would have pushed more. I just couldn't imagine last year, and still can't imagine, what DD doing K this coming Sept. would look like. So I say trust your gut!

If personality doesn't keep you from walking in/toeing the line...

Sorry, THAT's more than a little dumb in the "things for a teacher to say" category.

-Mich

Do not doubt yourself. Most people who are educators in early childhood will think what you're planning is extreme. Also, transitioning is probably the top priority of what they teach in kindergarten. Not all kids go to preschool either, so your son will not be the only one with transition difficulties. I would respond to such concerns with "great, then he will have something to learn that year" (well, only in my head, the school might not like that...) Maybe something more like, "It will be great that since he already has a firm grasp on the academics, he will be able to spend more time focussing on transitions and handwriting, etc".

FWIW, my son's preK teacher also thought that my DS wasn't ready for kindergarten yet, but then again, she would be losing a paying customer if we had started kindergarten early. (To her credit, she was the first educator who told us that our kiddo would need acceleration at some point.) We did end up sending our Jan. bday kiddo to kindergarten with his agemates and then he skipped first. We didn't push for early entrance because the psychologist who tested our kiddo at age 4 said that he'd need many different accommodations in his school life, and we should let him play another year. (I was a stay-at-home mom at the time and preschool was only a couple hours 3x/week.) Also, we thought kindergarten would be good because our son refused to learn how to write, even though he was way ahead in math and reading.

If you haven't already, I'd make a list of the pros and cons of early entrance. I didn't go back and read the whole thread, so I can't remember if you've already had discussions with the school about the early entrance. Obviously, it's a big pro if the school is aware of your kid's needs and is willing to be flexible and if they have teachers who are great at differentiation. What are the GT options at the school you're considering? Does the school allow subject acceleration? Can you talk with the GT coordinator to make sure there are options for your kiddo even if the official program doesn't start until 3rd, etc...

ETA: changing schools. For us, it has been easier to change school situations when our kiddo is young, so he hadn't formed a lot of close friendships. (And for boys I think this lasts a little longer in many cases; it seems the girls make BFFs earlier.) Our son went to one local grade center for kindy, then skipped to 2nd at a different local grade center, then moved mid-year 2nd to a school 45 miles away for HG kids. So, 3 schools in 2 years. Since he had changes every year, it was the norm for him, so it wasn't so bad. It has been wonderful this year in 3rd to have him stay with the same group of kids, and he's been making a lot of friends. We are hopeful that this program will still work well for our son through 5th, when the program ends, but we know there's a possibility that we'll need to change schools if things don't work out. We also have always kept homeschooling in the back of our mind as an option, which makes life a lot less stressful, knowing that there is indeed a workable (though difficult for us) fallback option.