Gifted Issues Discussion homepage Forums Parenting and Advocacy What should i do , please help ..

Hi ,

we have a 6 years old son , he is in 1st grade . Back when he was in kindergarten he was tested and his reading skill is in 3rd grade level .

Now that he is in 1st grade , he's been acting out a lot in classroom , and 2 weeks after school started , we got called to school , and was told by the teacher and the principal that our son is a gifted child . He was tested again for his reading skill , which now is at 5th grade level , he wasn't tested for anything else as far as i know . The school said that his behaviour might be due to the boredom . He would interrupt , he would complains the assignments are too easy , he would blurts out answer when it's not his turn , all the adhd signs .

Today we took him to the doctor and doctor said he's not adhd child , because the symptoms only appear in school , to have adhd it has to be happening everywhere , not only in school . The doctor agrees that he is a gifted boy .

He started reading very early , and just not too long ago he just figured out multiplication himself , he knows how to do 3 digits addition , and 3 digits subtraction , he reads at 5th grade level so he's reading chapter books . He would ask me questions such as how do we put the money in the credit card so that we buy things with that ? He would ask me why do we have to use water for baptism and then ended up with asking , Jesus wasn't a sinner and why did he have to be baptised ? Then one time he drew earth when the classroom was told to draw / write something that is considered a blessing .

He told me that he is bored in the class , and often times he wants to keep going when given the assignment and that he's done with it , but his teacher would not let him do that , he would have to get his fish ( rewards system ) taken away if he keeps going on his own , he has to wait . He said he wonders when things are going to be harder and more challenging for him .

His doctor suggested that he should skip grade , so far the school isn't doing too much of anything , but taking him out for an advanced math 3 times a week for 45 minutes , but the rest of the hours at school , he had to follow the 1st grade curriculum .

What would you do if you're in my shoes ? His doctor said i might want to try to have him skips the grade and going to 2nd grade , try it out for a month or so , see how he does . But i don't want to offend the principal or even the teacher .
What should i do ? Since august my son's been acting out almost everyday at school , even though all the grades he brings home is A+'s . I just don't want people think he's a trouble maker , because he's not , but he gets in trouble when he's bored .

my DD8 has had issues not wanting to do work and acting out in various ways since K. No one EVER suggested she should skip or that she might be acting out from boredom. They don't do testing in our district until 2nd grade anyway, so THIS is the first year we might actually get something done.

I will tell you, from our experrience that first, YOU need to decide what you think is best for your child. Are you committed to giving him what he needs, even if it does offend some people, because it probably will, somewhere along the road.

I'm kind of confused, if the teacher AND principal are acknowledging he is gifted and giving him advanced math, why wouldn't the teacher let him work ahead? I think it sounds like at least the principal knows what's up and probably wouldn't be offended. Approach it from a teamwork angle, you ALL want what is best for your child and can work together, but you do have to communicate.

I'm working really hard right now to keep my DD from being labeled a troublemaker. It has been suggested that she learned BAD habits in previous years, which I agree with and she is a very complex little person who resists doing more and more work each year. Right now, our school won't even consider giving her more challenging work because she often resists doing classwork, even though she tests at the top of the standard tests. It's like they don't know what to do with a gifted but non performing child.

Don't wait. Be an advocate for your child. Listen to what your child is telling you that he wants and needs. You are in the right place

That's why we're wondering too , because during our conference back in early september , we were told that the 1st grade curriculum does not suit him and that they're going to give him a different curriculum . So we've been waiting and waiting , i ask my child everyday , but nothing is more than normal , and even the teacher told me the only thing they do so far is only 3x45 minutes advanced math . That's it .

As a result , my son has been somewhat a troublemaker at school and he feels bad , because one of his friend said to him too " you're bad kid " just because he has to move his bee closer to the hive almost everyday ( meaning you're getting a warning , then u lose 5 minutes recess and when it's 3 times moving the bee it means u lost the whole recess ) I don't want him to feel like he's a bad kid because he's not , but i just wonder too why the teacher isn't doing anything .

Now that we know for sure he's not ADHD child , i want to do something with the education . We are willing to do anything for our child , i want him to be succeed in school and later on in life . And to do that it has to start somewhere , clearly the curriculum right now does not suit him , right now it's like he's being punished for being smart .

Welcome to the board, jaylivg!

I get the sense from your post that you would be okay with the idea of a grade skip for your son, but perhaps I have mis-read.

I think your doctor has made a good suggestion about your son trying out the 2nd grade classroom.

Do you know if there are other children in your child's school that have been accelerated? Schools run the gamut of flexibility in this regard: there are some that have a lot of experience with skipping children into "better-fit" classrooms, and some that are opposed to skipping children (and everything in between).

Your trying to find a good educational fit for your child should not offend anyone. You are just trying to find the level where he will be challenged and engaged.

I don't think your child is a trouble maker at all. He is just trying to find a way to make it through the day. Some children need constant mental stimulation-- they need more more and more. In a classroom that isn't at all challenging, they are just spinning their wheels.

Have you considered having your son take an IQ/achievement test?

Hello , herenow

I don't mind grade skipping if it helps and works for him , basically i am up to anything that would help him to excel at school . because i know he can , and he's not a troublemaker like what people / friends started labelling him . It hurts him and it hurts me to see him like that . The only thing i don't want is that he has to dumb himself down just to fit with everybody . If he's able to keep on going and working on it , in my opinion they should just let him be . But because they don't , he's bored to death although he told me he loves going to school , it's just he keeps complaining it's boring doing and learning things that he already know .

I really don't know if there are any other children that has been accelerated or not .

Basically , what are the steps that i should take to help my son ? I know i probably should talk with the teacher and principal , but if there any step that usually people would do ? Like asking to have him tested first or just giving them the letter from the doctor or what do we usually do to start this ?I really have no clue about this kind of stuff , never knew anybody with gifted children either , if we're asking for achievement test , should the school get this done or what ?

I am so sorry i have to many questions .. just don't know who to ask .

An IQ test done by a good educational psychologist will do a few things for you: Give you an idea of where he is compared to other kids; give the school an objective piece of evidence that he may have a need to work above grade level; give you access to "gifted-only" resources (DYS being just one of many). The school may do this for you, or you may need to go to a private psychologist.

Next, think about what you think will help your child. Read everything you can get your hands (and your mouse) on. There's a good book which describes various opions for acceleration and the research supporting them, as well as a strategy for coming up with a plan: "Re-Forming Gifted Education" by Karen B. Rogers. It was SO helpful to me this year with DS6.

Write out a plan, give it to your teacher, and ask for a parent-teacher conference in a few days to discuss. After that, do the ssame with the principal (they like you to follow the "chain of command").

Skipping is often a good option unless he's at/below grade level in a paricular area, or truly has attention/behavior probems. Maybe he could try an older grade for a week or two and see how it goes.

Finally, as a pediatrician myself, I can tell you that ADHD is underdiagnosed. That said, you DO need to have symptoms in more than one area of your life -- home, school, sports, social events. Pay attention, but the acting out could also be simple boredom.

Good luck!

Thank you for your help !!

An IQ/Achievement test was really the thing that helped us the most with our daughter's grade skip. We found the school administration really put a lot of emphasis on these tests.

If you choose to test your child, you have some decisions to make. The school may have a psychologist who can administer the tests for free. The trick is that sometimes these gifted kids give "unexpected" answers on IQ tests. Gifted kids often "think different". And if a tester doesn't have a lot of experience with gifted kids, they might not understand the child's answer--and they might not give as many points to this answer, even though it might in reality show high cognition. This is the reason why many of us on the board have gone to private psychologists who specialize in gifted children to have the IQ testing done. It can be very expensive (over $1000-2000??) If you want to go this route, feel free to ask on the forum for a respected gifted tester, hopefully there will be one near you.

A few more details. No matter who you test with, the test can not be repeated (I think) for 12 months.

The IOWA Acceleration Scale is a tool used by some schools to determine if a child is a good candidate for a grade skip. I think you would need IQ/achievement tests for the school to be able to use it.

And as a disability attorney, I can tell you that ADHD is often viewed as a "Ticket To Cash", so there are some secondary gain issues here.

Kind of like everybody's bipolar these days.

Herenow ,

thanks ! i'll see what the school wants to do about the test and i will look it up on the board for the private psychologist , hopefully i'll find one near the area !!