Gifted Issues Discussion homepage Forums Age or Ability Specific Forums Pre-school gifted and non-gifted kids

Oy. We used to say DS was so good at interrogating, he could work for the CIA. Incidentally, having a DS who is also fascinated by physics, to the best of my knowledge, scienctists haven't figured out why things have gravity, but you could say it's in their molecules, since everything that has mass has gravity, and the more mass somehting has, the more gravity it has. WHen the apple falls from the tree, the ground pulls on the apple, but the apple also pulls slightly on the ground. Cool, huh? My DS6 wants to know what gives stuff mass -- there's some sort of theoretical subatomic particle (Higgs Boson) which hasn't been observed yet, which is supposed to do that.

In andwer to the original question, I can tell you as a pediatrician that I see lots of 4 year-olds who can't count to 5 and don't know their colors. The official developmental screening tool we use in practice (the Denver II) has counting 5 objects and naming 4 colors correctly as 4 year milestones. On this discussion forum, that's shockingly late, but it's the truth.

As a parent: DS6 knew all his letters (upper and lowercase) and the sounds they made before he was 2, but couldn't read at all till age 5 (had us baffled). DD5 learned the last of her letter sounds at 4, well after she started sounding out words while she was still 3. And their cousin, almost 6, who does incredible creative art on a level I couldn't have imagined, can spell and write/type hundreds of words, but still doesn't know the sounds of all the letters.

So regardless of intelligence and environment, certainly kids learn what they learn when they're ready. Even the bright ones.

my daughter was writing at age 4...lots and lots...sounding out words and reading books...but if you asked her what a y says...you might not have gotten an answer. Also, just because a child knows his colors and shapes at 18 months, doesn't mean he will be reading at 4...

But I too am amazed that some children just can't get things. I tend to wonder if the parents aren't exposing them. There have been children I know very well, who I assumed would be in special education when attnding public school, but are considered above average in reading.

That one really throws you. When you think an above average child is slow because your view on things is so skewed..But I also wonder sometimes...

our gifted children often know how to hide their gifts to fit it. They are sometimes laughed at for their advanced comments by adults who think that they are cute for trying to be adult like. They are misunderstood...but so might average children. Some average children might not come across as smart as they are.

So, emotional issues, anxiety, lack of exposure or lack of self esteem may make them seem less inteligent. Also, we see these children when our own children are around. I'm sure that the average child knows that the gifted children can out-do them and maybe don't even try.

Just as it is hard to figure out a gifted child who is around average children, it is hard to get a good read on an average child who is around a gifted one.

I just feel so weird when my gifties are playing with average children and mom is there...and they start saying things like..."oh, my dd could never do what your dd just did." Or they start putting their own child down. Then they start thinking something is wrong with their child. I have had to tell people not to compare their children to mine...it's not fair. My children are way above average...but what does that sound like? That sounds like...don't worry my kids are just smarter than most kids...don't compare your kid to mine because she'll never be that smart...

This messes up friendships..and it's just such a hard thing to smooth over.

I try to focus on my friend's issues and milestones. I know what she is working on and I show that I am happy for her when she makes the milestones...Unfortunately, I cannot share my children's milestones as freely. Because I get "well, she's just good at everything."...NO happy feelings there. So...well, I just went on a long rant..
sorry...
I had to get that out.

I'm not doclori, but have you tried looking at any of the physics videos on watch know learn? http://www.watchknowlearn.org/SearchResults.aspx?SearchText=physics

I'm also not doclori, but rather than just something to watch, what about something he can explore? I'm thinking Erector sets here. There's a bunch of different toys they make where your kid can build something, turn on the motor, and watch what happens.

My daughter didn't want to read aloud until just after her fifth birthday, even though she'd been reading little snippets to us from signs, TV screens, etc. since she was three. We chalked it up to insecurity and perfectionism, and I finally got her to try it by making an appeal to her pride. I pointed out how many ways she was already more advanced than I was at her age... EXCEPT I'd already started reading books to my mom when I was four. Sure enough, two days later, she sat down with her mom and read her a story, and she's been off and running since.

Now she's playing soccer, and she turns into a cone to dribble around on game day, refusing to be aggressive and make a play on the ball when the other team has it. We're pretty sure this is just a manifestation of her strong sense of right/wrong and fair play, because she doesn't want to make a mistake and make someone get hurt. She's playing pretty freely in practice these days, it's just not showing up on game day.

So this week, we're trying to motivate her with bribery... one dollar for a steal, one dollar for a good pass to an open teammate, and five dollars for a goal. We'll see how that works out. With the way she seems to just flip a switch at times, I'm hoping this motivates her, but not TOO much, or this could get really expensive.

Anyway, that's a big part of the challenge... getting in their heads to figure out what we can do to get them to flip that switch when we KNOW they're ready.

He really likes the Basher books (if you search for "Basher" in books on Amazon, you'll find them), especially the physics one, but some of the others are great. DH made fun of me when I got the physics book, but the kid really likes them.

On TV: There's a series (Discovery or Science channel, I forget), called "How the Universe Works," which he loves, and there was a good 2-hour special by Stephen Hawking called, "The Story of Everything."

Lego, erector set, lincoln logs, anything building. And he reads 4th grade nonfiction chapter books from the school library.

More and more, google and wikipedia are resources. What do I know about subatomic particles? Who knew that protons are made of something else called "quarks?"

http://www.pbs.org/wgbh/nova/physics/arch-physics.html

The Art of Construction: Projects and Principles for Beginning Engineers & Architects by Mario Salvadori

Also:

http://www.etereaestudios.com/movies/fallingwater_movies/fallingwater_mov_vimeo.htm

I love the physics recommendations. My DS6 could be Annette's child.

I think it's hard to understand how other children can have trouble doing things that come so easily to your own child, until you see your own child struggling at something (which I know is a rarity for most parents on this board!).

I don't think it's lack of exposure, based on my experience with my DS6 struggling with reading, and my DD4 simply not showing the deep critical thinking skills DS6 did at her age. DS6 is gifted, and DD4, well jury's still out, but I'd say not gifted if I didn't know that her IQ should be near the rest of her family's.

DS6 knew his letters and sounds around age 3, but stubbornly resisted learning to read, and at age 6, he's still struggling to read IMO. He has a lot of DH's reading problems. DH still can't sound out new words, like unusual names or words in another language, correctly. Both DH and DS will read letters backwards, insert sounds that aren't in the word, skip sounds that are there, etc. Meanwhile, DS6 is two years ahead in math, and we've been talking about physics, math, death, god, infinity, and mechanics since he was three.

DD4 is exposed to all of the same things that DS6 was exposed to, but doesn't pick up on them the way DS6 did. She's advanced for her age in math, but not as much so as DS6 was. Her reading is a bit more advanced, but she's still not an early reader. She has other capabilities and interests that he doesn't, like her understanding and appreciation of art and music. We've followed both of their leads in what they're really interested in, but they're both exposed to the same things, and have very different responses and ability to absorb and critically think about them.

I find the saying "you can lead a horse to water, but you can't make it drink" is true. Children will master concepts and skills when they're developmentally ready to do so, and gifted children are leaps and bounds ahead of non-gifted children in their development.

Just a thought here, but have you had your DS evaluated for dyslexia, visual tracking and convergence issues, or problems with visual or phonological processing? Any of these alone or in combination could cause these sorts of issues, and there are interventions that can help all of them - but not unless you know what exactly you are dealing with.