Gifted Issues Discussion homepage Forums Parenting and Advocacy Did your child ever sleep?

I have to wonder whether children like my own (I won't say "ours", not knowing every else's kids personally, but that was how the sentence started) are on average less likely to be ST-able and more likely to be traumatised by it?

We have also taken the NCSS (or similar) path with all three kids. My second child was my easiest, but as I have said in a previous discussion, the one time I decided that she was not getting out of her cot until nap time was over was an unmitigated disaster. I sat with her while she screamed for 2hrs, she did not let up the whole time, she then did not nap again for over 2 weeks, even without the battle. She was very distant from me for some time afterwards as well, her trust was appreciably damaged. Conversely If we came at her gently and side on we could usually change her sleep habits in 3-7 days.

Sample size of 1, but my first and last child there would be even less chance of it working. And I am sleep deprived and it does cause problems, but less problems than is involved with listening to them scream or being rejected by my child because they feel I have rejected them...

But I suspect that many kids don't react like that and that STing might in fact work fairly well for them. I also suspect it helps not to have sensory issues or any other issue that makes sleep harder than average, as compared to simply having gotten into habits that need to be addressed.

Mr W had sleep issues up until he was accelerated into a class with kids 1-2 years old than he is.

Now he crashes hard and sleeps all night without waking. He still gets up before 7am, though, with 9 hours of sleep.

DS doesn't relax his jaw until he's really dead asleep. You can toss him into bed at that point, and he stays alseep... unless you didn't tell him about the "I'm taking my boob back" bit, at which point you won't get that far . I usually do end up kinda tossing him, actually, becasue some portion of my anatomy is usually asleep by then We used to change his diaper after he was asleep pretty regularly, and I've been known to get him dressed from diaper to snowsuit immediately after taking him off without waking him.

It doesn't help for NCSS in any way, because there's no way to gradually change it.

Light levels: yeah, he's had some phases about light levels. He was quite affraid of the dark when he was 3-6 mosish. But he got over it, and now particularly likes a very dark room, but will sleep in any light level. He sleeps anywhere, and usually gets pegged as a good sleeper. He once slept through a rocous party, including the part where someone tripped over the stroller he was in, while carying an object which could not be allowed to touch the floor. It was... impressive... . But then we left, and shortly thereafter he hit the end of his sleep cycle, and we had a nasty trip home. But nobody saw that part. We're famous for our good sleeper. <sigh>

Like I said, we've got a situation that mostly works, though it's not perfect. He's working on it, and, frankly, I trust him.

Untill recently, he never really had a cry that didn't escallate very rapidly, and he does remain upset for very long periods of time (hours or days). He does cry mildly now.

Oh: and books. He doesn't read yet, but we do read books to him at bedtime. That's fairly recent, because for a long time we couldn't have any kind of "ritual" or else his stress level would start going up at the beginning, and it would become impossible to get him to sleep. He does seem to appreciate having a bit of a routine now, but we still keep it pretty short and low-key, because sometimes he still gets the stress issue, and it's not very predictable.

We also do a quiet time before bed now, which used to create problems, but I really have trouble not having it! I think it sometimes helps, and sometimes makes things harder... hard to really say on that one.

-Mich

Hi there- I too had a child that did not fall asleep easily- life is too exciting!! Even as a newborn he fought sleep and wanted to stay alert to observe/learn. He is also a very spirited little guy and has been sensitive to light.

What helped me tremendously was 'The Baby Whisperer Solves All Your Problems' by Tracey Hogg. The baby whisperer philosophy just resonated with me- honoring your child's temperament and gradually helping them to become independent sleepers. Many people who have 'angel babies'- happy, docile, restful kids don't need to look for solutions, but I didn't have that kind of child.

My LO finally sleep through the night at 14 mos- we had night terrors, sleep walking/crawling, multiple wakings at 6 mos due to a pacifier addiction- needed to be 'replugged' up to 8 times a night. That is what led me to this book. It talks about gradual withdrawal from the room, and other techniques that can be effective without having your LO cry it out. They will cry with frustration/overtiredness, but the difference is that you are supposed to be in the room, and help them learn how to settle and gradually reduce the amount of help from you.

Hugs- it is hard to have a wakeful child. Now my LO turned 4 yo, he wakes at 7AM, if there is no nap, he'll finally go to sleep at 8PM. If there is any kind of nap, then he's up till 10-11PM. argh.

melatonin has been helpful for adjusting his sleep clock, as he does drift later naturally, but we only use it maybe once every 5 mos, as there are some warnings about it.

Blocking out all light- with black out drapes was helpful, using the same bedtime routine- bath, massage with lavender cream, books, same song and into bed. We use a fan for white noise year round.

HTH- just one more perspective.

I wanted to thank those who suggested melatonin and wish I'd stumbled upon it sooner. We started giving DD8 about 2mg 30 minutes before bedtime and I don't think we've heard "I'm scared" or "I can't sleep" from her room for a week. She still wakes up around 3:30 every other night to sneak into our bed, so maybe we need to up the dosage a bit.

Upping the dosage on melatonin is not always the best solution. Too high a dose can have a contrary effect. 2 mg is actually a fairly high dose for an 8 yr old - dropping it back might help more than increasing it.

Here's a link that you might find interesting:

UMMC Melatonin article

DS2.5 doesn't go to sleep until 10 or sometime 11 at night.

If we don�t do any quiet (i.e. brainy) activities before bed, it is guaranteed he will be awake in bed for another hour.

DS did not sleep until 11 last night and was reading books for an hour in his bed.

I am way too ready for bed by 11.

Ha!
I could have used you all when I was a new mother oh so many years ago with a baby who didn't sleep!! I thought I was the only one. And not being a very confident new mom, I really thought I was messing things up. Geez. I wish I knew then what I know now !!

We laugh about the advice we read -- and tried -- about bathing your children right before bed, so they would be sleepy. Ha again! We just ended up with naked children running up and down the hall.

Thanks, looking into that today and talking to the doctor.

Also, melatonin isn't a "sleeping pill." It helps you fall asleep, but doesn't have any impact on staying asleep.

My 8yo takes 300mcg (0.3mg), which seems to work for her. It's a hard-to-find dose, though. (We have quick-dissolve strips at the moment, so I just tear them into the appropriate dosage. She's asked to switch to a pill instead, and while I used to be able to find the low dose locally, I can't anymore.)