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    #106108 06/30/11 04:33 AM
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    DS10 is really into music now. Any suggestions to keeping it positive and appropriate. Yesterday, he borrowed a Queen CD from the libary. Well, I'm not ready for him to listen to Fat bottom girls make the rocking world go round...

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    I feel really old and out of it and wondering about some of this music. I was listening to something on the radio, the melody was great and listening to the lyrics it was about going clubbing in the middle of the night, taking your clothes off and having sex in the club with everyone.

    Ren

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    I don't have an answer to your question, but you may be interested in a recent study finding "a statistically significant trend toward narcissism and hostility in popular music".

    http://www.nytimes.com/2011/04/26/science/26tier.html
    A Generation�s Vanity, Heard Through Lyrics
    By JOHN TIERNEY
    New York Times
    April 25, 2011

    A couple of years ago, as his fellow psychologists debated whether narcissism was increasing, Nathan DeWall heard Rivers Cuomo singing to a familiar 19th-century melody. Mr. Cuomo, the lead singer and guitarist for the rock band Weezer, billed the song as �Variations on a Shaker Hymn.�

    Where 19th-century Shakers had sung � �Tis the gift to be simple, �tis the gift to be free,� Mr. Cuomo offered his own lyrics: �I�m the meanest in the place, step up, I�ll mess with your face.� Instead of the Shaker message of love and humility, Mr. Cuomo sang over and over, �I�m the greatest man that ever lived.�

    The refrain got Dr. DeWall wondering: �Who would actually sing that aloud?� Mr. Cuomo may have been parodying the grandiosity of other singers � but then, why was there so much grandiosity to parody? Did the change from �Simple Gifts� to �Greatest Man That Ever Lived� exemplify a broader trend?

    Now, after a computer analysis of three decades of hit songs, Dr. DeWall and other psychologists report finding what they were looking for: a statistically significant trend toward narcissism and hostility in popular music. As they hypothesized, the words �I� and �me� appear more frequently along with anger-related words, while there�s been a corresponding decline in �we� and �us� and the expression of positive emotions.

    �Late adolescents and college students love themselves more today than ever before,� Dr. DeWall, a psychologist at the University of Kentucky, says. His study covered song lyrics from 1980 to 2007 and controlled for genre to prevent the results from being skewed by the growing popularity of, say, rap and hip-hop.

    Defining the personality of a generation with song lyrics may seem a bit of a reach, but Dr. DeWall points to research done by his co-authors that showed people of the same age scoring higher in measures of narcissism on some personality tests. The extent and meaning of this trend have been hotly debated by psychologists, some of whom question the tests� usefulness and say that young people today aren�t any more self-centered than those of earlier generations. The new study of song lyrics certainly won�t end the debate, but it does offer another way to gauge self-absorption: the Billboard Hot 100 chart. The researchers find that hit songs in the 1980s were more likely to emphasize happy togetherness, like the racial harmony sought by Paul McCartney and Stevie Wonder in �Ebony and Ivory� and the group exuberance promoted by Kool & the Gang: �Let�s all celebrate and have a good time.� Diana Ross and Lionel Richie sang of �two hearts that beat as one,� and John Lennon�s �(Just Like) Starting Over� emphasized the preciousness of �our life together.�

    Today�s songs, according to the researchers� linguistic analysis, are more likely be about one very special person: the singer. �I�m bringing sexy back,� Justin Timberlake proclaimed in 2006. The year before, Beyonc� exulted in how hot she looked while dancing � �It�s blazin�, you watch me in amazement.� And Fergie, who boasted about her �humps� while singing with the Black Eyed Peas, subsequently released a solo album in which she told her lover that she needed quality time alone: �It�s personal, myself and I.�

    Two of Dr. DeWall�s co-authors, W. Keith Campbell and Jean M. Twenge, published a book in 2009 titled �The Narcissism Epidemic," which argued that narcissism is increasingly prevalent among young people � and possibly middle-aged people, too, although it�s hard for anyone to know because most of the available data comes from college students.

    For several decades, students have filled out a questionnaire called the Narcissism Personality Inventory, in which they�ve had to choose between two statements like �I try not to be a show-off� and �I will usually show off if I get the chance.� The level of narcissism measured by these questionnaires has been rising since the early 1980s, according to an analysis of campus data by Dr. Twenge and Dr. Campbell.

    <end of excerpt>

    I'm sure my children will form their own musical tastes, but I will try to expose them to some of my favorites, such as Billy Joel or Fleetwood Mac. By a strange coincidence the best music ever was made when I was growing up smile.



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    I may not be the best person to weigh in, as DS5 likes all sorts of stuff that we let him listen to that a lot of people would find inappropriate (e.g. he likes Black Sabbath, Danzig, etc. when it comes up in our music rotation blush in amongst the Fleetwood Mac and Pixies). But I guess as long as you keep tabs on what he physically brings in the house, that's one avenue of entry covered. I'd be worried about the computer and MP3s more. For any computer he uses, you can regularly check for MP3 files, the presence of music-sharing software or links to sites where music sharing happens, etc. You can use software controls like Net Nanny (off the top of my head) to control sites he visits, restrict his level of user access on the computer to install programs, personally monitor his computer use, etc.

    In the end, if he sneaks around he can probably at some point listen to things of which you wouldn't approve. I would just make sure the lines of communication are open and stay watchful, I guess.


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    FWIW, way back in the late 70's my 8-9 year old buddies and I would frequently sing and motion/dance the soundtrack to Grease with great enthusiasm. Years later, my daughter wanted a 50s theme sleepover so I bought the movie and I was absolutely horrified at the explicit lyrics and inappropriate theme. I guess it all went right over our heads at that age.

    I really don't buy into the notion that certain music alone will detrimentally influence how kids turn out, but I do think trying to shelter them from it by banning/censoring it will likely make it more appealing to them. I agree you don't want your kid going around singing offensive things in public and I think you just do what you can to educate them on that end.

    �Late adolescents and college students love themselves more today than ever before,� Dr. DeWall, a psychologist at the University of Kentucky, says. I don't agree with this conclusion at all, I think today's youth are lonelier than ever with computers and social networking replacing real personal connection. I am curious if the suicide rates among this age group over the period of the study would support the conclusion being drawn.

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    laugh
    I have to laugh at your Queen reference. Queen's harmonizing is outstanding (in my book), but I get what you mean about the lyrics.

    We have Sirius on cable and one of my favorite channels is Hair Bands of the 1980's. I noticed that our parental blocking code pops up whenever I want to listen to it, yet doesn't pop up for the other 80's rock channel. Apparently, Sirius has already done some of the filtering for parents. I don't know if Queen would be categorized as a "hair band", though...unlike Twisted Sister, for instance.

    There are good bands with clean lyrics: Owl City

    I like to check out online the lyrics of a few songs before I buy CD's for my son.


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    I don't know. So far, it's a battle just to keep rap out of the house, since it seems to have seeped into all the cartoons and everything. I just let them have one of my CDs in their players at bedtime, and there isn't any rap in there. There is a fair amount of stuff that other parents might consider inappropriate, which I thought about when DS8 wanted to take Jimmy Buffett and Devo to school for his class to listen to at writing time. Teacher said she had a good handle on Buffett and Devo and it was ok. smile And then there's Meatloaf, which I had to consider on the trip to Denver for DI when I found myself watching two neighbor boys absorbing the lyrics to "Paradise by the Dashboard Light". Umm yeah anyway.

    But mostly they choose (DD) Tanya Tucker, Lorrie Morgan, Loretta Lynn, and (DS) Don McLean, Gordon Lightfoot, CW McCall, Fleetwood Mac (what is it about Fleetwood Mac in this thread, anyway?) and the aforementioned classics. There is hope.

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    I think music is just hard full stop. We had to stop playing Susan Vega in the car when our eldest started asking difficult questions at 3yrs old.

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    I figure as long as we discuss the appropriate use of some of these words, and whether or not what is suggested in some songs is ever appropriate, we are doing ok. That said, there is a huge difference between warren zevon (mr. Bad example?) And anything by folks like marshall mathers (and I like his stuff). In the very end, if the work is a worthy piece of art I am not going to freak out about lyrics. Hopefully ds will continue to share what he likes and vice versa to keep communication flowing.

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    Originally Posted by Nautigal
    I don't know. So far, it's a battle just to keep rap out of the house, since it seems to have seeped into all the cartoons and everything.

    I don't like rap as a musical form, but as long as the lyrics are not evil, I would be reluctant to ban it just on aesthetic grounds. There are CDs with rap songs to learn the multiplication tables -- for example Multiplication Rap -- that my children have listened to.


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