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Had a follow-up SLP assessment. The upshot was: differential development is causing some problems, erm, and that's probably why you got sent to us last time, we just couldn't tell 'cause we ignored half of what you said.

This is very good on one hand, because they saw his ability this time. Bad in a bigger-picture way, because if differential development was causing *problems* by 19 mos, uh...

If the problems being caused by frustration caused by average articulation and really-not-so-average language persist another 3 mos, we're supposed to go back, but I'm not sure we need a generalist SLP if what we need to do is get a 2 yr old to speak as easily and clearly as a 4yr old just to keep him from frustrating himself into silence. And I don't really know how to go about, well, any kind of anything. <sigh>

Do we try and get his body to match his understanding? That sounds like some serious pushing of a poor lil toddler-body. Do we let him just experience the frustration & find his own coping strategies? Do we try and discuss coping strategies with him in hopes of getting him to a better one rather than a worse one? Do we find some other middle path?

(he's 2&1/4, language skills assessed at double that, I think it could be a somewhat conservative estimate, since he clued in early that she just wasn't hearing a lot of what he said, and simplified for her, dropping adjectives, figurative speech, and sticking to topics directly related to the toys she had out -- he also clearly recognised her and remembered what she'd been interested in last time)

I don't even know if I'm looking for advice, or if I'm just needing to talk. Ok... I *am* looking for advise, I just dispair of there being any easy answeres!

-Mich

Chill. Breathe. Aww, sister, the babys gotta grow and make their own struggles too. I'm not telling you this so you don't help him, I'm telling u this because I know the Mamma feels every little distress of the baby.
I let the boy talk to other people without intercessing for him. I figured it was a self-correcting feedback for other people to understand or misinterpret what he's saying and he could work it out. Wait. More L8R...

His speech is not what it should be? Is that the differential part you are talking about?
Make sure you get an audiology hearing test, not just the screen at the pediatrician's. Hearing loss is ALOT more common than people realize.

Maybe I'll just give the numbers: He's (almost) 26 mos, expressive language skills assessed at about 54mos+, articulation at 24-30 mos. (probaly not that wierd on here, but the SLP we have access to hasn't seen it)

There's no *problem* per se, it's just that there's evidence that he's reacting badly to the frustration of having such a big difference between his language ablity and his articulation ability.

I'm a SAHM, and feel it's my job to provide appropriate growth and development Schtuff (tm), and I don't think the SLP we have access to has the right expertise to advise us effectively. Her practice _ends_ at the age range where his language abilities are currently, according to her assessement.

We've been letting him sort it out for himself & I think that was definitly the correct decision to date, but if it seems that he's going a little bit less-than-right on that at this point, I think we should consider doing otherwise. But I'm not sure what to consider.

Clear as mud?


I think where I sound worried, I'm just over-thinking. And that's my natural state, no blood pressure or cortisol increases involved .

-Mich.

(Jack'smom: his SPEECH is right where it should be, his underlying abilily with language is somewhat wildly ahead of schedule)

That sounds good- I wouldn't worry.
My older one at 10-12 months would follow directions like "go over to the door" (told without pointing). He talked early but later than when he followed directions- we realized that his receptive skills were very early and were obviously ahead of his expressive speech skills.
I'm sure there is a delay between their motor skills coming in and their understanding. You could teach him baby sign language. Our kids did that, and it's really helpful at communicating with them when they can't quite get the words out.

No, look at the numbers again... He talks like a much older (not younger) kid. His spoken vocabulary is probably well over 2000 words (not assessed that I know of). Average English-language sentence length 11 words. He's ONLY difficult to understand when he's trying to say what he WANTS to say, which is way the frick more complicated than what most 2 yr olds want to say.

A reasonably typical sentance (from earlier tonight) "Mama usually reads books to me, so [hisname] not want daddy to read this now" note that most of the grammer is accurate, and not/doesn't is a direct result of not being able to articulate the word "doesn't" accurately because of the blend, also use of time/relationship *concepts* that are not usually understood at 2. (it was "Ooosooolly," "dis," etc. as one would expect for a 2yr old)

-Mich

I am sorry if this is a stupid question, but is your concern that there is an actual developmental problem that won't self resolve in time, or that asynchronous development is causing him deep frustration and behavioral problems?

My 2nd child people regularly commented how remarkable it was to see a child so determined to do things beyond their present abilities and yet so sunny natured. Even before she could talk she was incredibly good at getting what she wanted. And now although she has an almost DYS level VCI we think she has selective mutism, or is recovering from and now has meer "social anxiety". She has a huge vocab and language development but will do anything to avoid talking if she can. So being happy not to use her prodigious language skills has maybe not been that great after all.

My 3rd just bellows. ALL the time. Doesn't even try to communicate often, just goes straight to bellowing. I suspect she might actually be "brighter", but with a speech impediment, it's hard to tell for sure at 15 months! Honestly I feel most of the time like she is trying to communicate psychically and is really pissed I am not "listening" and so she screams. As crazy as that may sound.

Child #2 was easier to parent with regards to communication, but she had other challenges (like scaling tall bookshelves the second you turned your back). Child #3 is less likely to break herself or something valuable but is really exhausting on the communication front. My point being, unless you are concerned that there is a problem that is beyond the realm of "it just takes time for them to grown into their skills sometimes" I think this falls into parenting an asynchronous toddler is damn hard work...

And my apologies if I have gone off on a completely irrelevant tangent.

I would say that if your speech therapist does not work with kids older than yours, maybe find a different one to be able to start there and then continue as your DS ages out of the original one.

We have had so many SLPs it is crazy and they are all different in ability it seems. I can't give much advice because my little guy is 2e and the best SLPs were involved with the autism school and autism therapy. DS had a different picture than yours with a sky-high "incoming" language but a very low "outgoing" language until ABA and autism-knowledgeable SLPs got to work with him. Once they got him communicating at "brain level" (I just made that up) instead of below age level, then they worked more on his lisp. He still has speech therapy for his lisp (at age 8) and it is slow and steady progress.

When DS was 2, I didn't realize the difference between SLPs, but just like everything some are good and some are not. Unfortunately it is an expensive (money AND time) thing to have to determine by trial and error.

Kate

That's it exactly, "asychronous development is causeing him deep frustration and behavioral problems" Which the SLP considers significant. He's not aging out of her services chronologically, but his language skill itself is. Becasue of where we live, we do not get to pick and choose SLP services & can't get an SLP for a 2 yr old who is familliar with working with school age kids, they divide everything at the preschool level, because services for school age kids are provided though the schools themselves.

I think this is definitly in the "parenting an asynchronous toddler is hard work" category; I'm just hoping for advice, maybe I'm especially hoping for some suggestions from people who've faced this in areas where experts *were* available about what those experts suggested...

Thanks!

-Mich

Ok: adding just a bit more: the SLP *is* concerned that if he keeps doing some of the stuff he's doing now, it will become a real problem. She wants to treat if the "symptoms" persist 3 more mos... but I'm not convinced her approach to the situation is the right one. So, it's not just me that finds this extreme enough to be concerning, but I also think she's a bit alarmist.

It's a bit complicated

I know what you are going through, both of my daughters went through this, but my younger one had a harder issue with it. DD3 has been a nightmare off and on because we couldn't understand what she was trying to tell us, especially when she was trying to tell a story or explain exactly what she wants to do. We asked her to repeat herself and then we'd restate what we thought she was saying. She learned to reword her ideas quite quickly. We actually didn't notice it at first, a friend who has a ND child 2 yrs older noticed it because her daughter hadn't figured out how to do that yet.

I agree the frustration is hard to deal with, and I can't give you any specifics about what we did, because we just played it by ear, depending on the situation and how frustrated DD was becoming. I know we constantly reminded her that she could ask questions to learn different ways of communicating before freaking out and throwing a temper tantrum. We did not see a doctor for our daughter, I don't think we ever thought about it as something a doctor could help with.

I think this kind of frustration is very common in kids like ours.

What are some of the things he's doing that are specific concerns of the doctor?

I don't know if what I said helps any, but you are not alone in have a very frustrated kid on your hands when they are asynchronous.