Gifted Issues Discussion homepage Forums Parenting and Advocacy Trouble on Madison Street

Incog -- You guys are south, right? We're looking more north (dh works in Deerfield) ... hmm. And I'm not feeling guilty about taking away his World of Warcraft; *he's* just missing it a little. It wasn't a direct punishment; more of a "We've decided it may not be age-appropriate for you right now." But I think he knows it was in response to the fighting incident, because he just kind of took that at face value -- when usually he would push the issue.

Lori -- WOW does take a lot of reading, and a lot of attention and handwork, which is why we were ok with him playing. Again, for those who haven't seen it, there really isn't any gratuitous violence; the name makes it sound worse than it is. The only thing he can't do well is chat because he doesn't type fast, but he was getting there; someone was asking if anyone knew where a character was, and B typed, "iknow"! Then I had to jump in and help him, because the other player thought he was talking to an adult!

Grin -- I know, right? Asynchronous indeed! I do still plan on pursuing the skip, because it's clear that first grade is not what he needs. His handwriting will eventually improve ... but if nothing else changes, his attitude is just going to go down the pipes.

Again, thanks all for weighing in. The handwriting is actually the least of my concerns; it's the fighting and the attitude about school that is the worst. And the fact that he's so busy talking in class that he doesn't finish the work (which is counting and cutting, so pointless for him), which is going to make people think he *can't* do the work.

The chat feature on MMORPG games is the incentive my son needed to learn to type quickly. It is also one of the reasons he decided to learn to spell really well because he didn't want to take the time to look up the words he wanted to use.

I have also worried that another player might think he is an adult.

Lori -- all players think ds is an adult until they try to talk to him -- well, why wouldn't they, if the average age is 34?? Certainly they don't expect a 5yo to be playing. We always sit with him (we only have laptops), so we would jump in whenever anyone tried to talk and explain. People were really nice about it.

not like my kids need another game, but I feel compelled to tell them about world of warcraft after this.

Cym, think about it carefully and check it out.
WOW is reported to be the most addictive computer game. People go crazy. My friend is getting a divorce right now, hubby went crazy (literally, had to be put away) playing it non stop.
I can't imagine exposing a child to anything like that, but that's just me :-)

The cutting is a fine motor skill as well so it will help him to do it. Kumon makes lots of variations of cut out and paste activity books. Once he gets the hang of it you can get him the more sophisticated cutouts from Dover they have themes such as historical clothing and Shakespeare.

I also suggest getting him an OT eval and working on his fine motor starting now and through the summer so that he is closer to the average range in fine motor in the fall. If you address that issue it will be easier for the school to agree to a skip. Skipping him without the fine motor skills could make the situation worse, but I think if his fine motor is as bad as you say, and he goes through OT, and you follow through with home exercises, he will improve unless it is another problem altogether. On the other hand, letter reversals are still normal for a K student regardless of how smart they are.

You don't need to do a ton of exercises a day at home, but if you pick one or two to work on everyday for 15 minutes there could be improvement. Some things you can do before getting the evaluation are: turn pennies, Pop the Pirate game, cutting, folding (origami) and beading. Therapists often use Handwriting Without Tears. First figure out which letters he does not form correctly by watching him write the lower case alphabet then choose one or two of those letters per week to trace in a rice tray and then switch to a blunt pencil in the tray when he has the fluid movement and order, and then move to paper. It helps to say something like "a" make a circle, close it, slide down the pole. You can make them up yourself.

I also helped the situation by reminding my child to make sure to write clearly and carefully on papers for the teacher because it will help the teacher know what you can do if she or he can read it.

Cym-- check it out, yes, before you introduce your kids. It *can* be pretty addictive! On the other hand, so can alcohol, and very few who drink socially are actually alcoholics. As I say, we only have laptops, and we were always with him while he played.

Ania: see above. :-) Of course we can feel differently about this. However, a 5-year-old playing under supervision is quite different than a crazy ex-h, just like a 19-year-old having a glass of wine under parental supervision is diffferent than a 50-year-old alcoholic.

Eamsnova: thank you for your advice! I'll think all that over and see what we want to work in. Thank you, thank you!

I'm with Mia. A game is a game. People can be addicted to anything--even food, shopping...and video games. That has much more to do with the person than the game.

WOW is not something to fear because of its basic nature. It doesn't have something inherent to it that "makes people go crazy." Would it really continue to be sold if it were as bad as all that?

I'm sorry about your friend's situation, Ania, but I really believe that one case--no matter how extreme and horrible--doesn't necessarily mean that the game itself is the problem. In fact, I could hold up Mia's DS as counterevidence: the game was taken away from him, and he didn't even debate it with her. Clearly for Mia's DS, WOW was a harmless hobby and not a dangerous addiction.

From everything I've read on this forum, it's clear to me that Mia and Cym are responsible parents. I just felt like I needed to say that for their sakes. Their interest in a game doesn't diminish that level of responsibility.

I totally agree. Anything can be addictive. I do think you need to monitor what your kids are doing and be responsible - which obviously is what is happening here.

My DS7 gets 20 minutes on the computer a day and he does manage to find some games that are for teenagers or adults. But we really monitor his usage and are there for answering questions, etc. And DS is really coming along with his typing ability too! He does need to ask before he gets in a chat room or creates a new account somewhere.

DS13 says he's tried WOW and hates it (he's very superlative now that he's a teen...it's either great or "sucks"). DS 11 doesn't do games really, so that's a non-issue. But! DS9 tends to exhibit addictive behaviors (DH & I both have battled with the evil weed tobacco--I won, but...) so we fear addictive traits in the kiddos. DS9 is currently obsessed with Age of the Empires and spends hrs of time imagining scenarios, writing them out short-story like, etc. Great vocabulary come from it, some historical stuff. I think that's plenty to occupy game-time for now. I did mention WOW to him, but he wasn't feeling well last night.