Gifted Issues Discussion homepage Forums Parenting and Advocacy How to carry on?????

(((Group HUG)))

I'm so relieved to find moms who understand that my four year old isn't "typical"!

I try to tell my husband that his son isn't like other kids his age, but I think maybe because DS still so young and we don't have any other children, he doesn't quite "get it" yet.

Although, I have to say...sometimes he comes in after "lights out" and tells me things our son says to him and he has this look on his face like, "Holy S*IT! Can you believe he said this!!!" LOL

From what I've read and the Free reading ability screening test online test I used, our son (4 early in 2011) is testing at a third grade reading and a first grade comprehension level.

I know that the preschool we have him signed up for (mostly play-based) is right for him psychologically, but academically...he's going to get nothing.

Is that OK?

I have been there too - in a rural setting and all. Other people used to look at me like I was crazy when I would say I was so exhausted because DD was doing a,b or c - whatever her fascination/obsession was that month. I'm still not sure if they thought I was making it up or it was all my fault that she was so intense.

I counted down the days for her to go to school (even half day - just to have some down time to regroup). It was during this time (age 4) that I found this board and like you was amazed at how in control people seemed to be. But, it was still a great place for me to find and start getting suggestions and support for my "out there" child.

Have you tried finding an older adult (like a grandparent) who also loves the same sort of stuff and ask if they would hang out with your son and tell him all about what they know about the topic? I know DD became fascinated with wood working and carving at one point because she saw a elderly man whittling at a fair. I told her to go ask him about it - she did and he was so excited that she was interested he told her all about how long he'd been doing it and how he learned and his best and worst pieces, and how to pick good pieces of wood to start with - the whole nine yards.

Now, please understand, this only lasted about 30 minutes, and it meant that I had to stand in the hot sun when I was tired, hungry and ready to go home so she could talk to him, but - it did give me half an hour to let my mind wander and enjoy the sights and not have to focus on her. A friend who was with us continued on with her kid and they had eaten lunch and were ready to move on by the time we caught up, but it was enough down time for me that I was able to continue without loosing it for the rest of the outing.

I still feel inadequate as a parent many days (now doubly so because of DD3 following in her sister's footsteps), but I keep reminding myself that I made it through with the first one and will with the second one too.

Hugs to you - I think most of us understand what you're going through and have been there many many times before. You are not alone!

To Kerry...

I'm an artist and your daughter gave that woodworker the greatest gift that day in her interest in his art.

My dad is a gifted person who, while acknowledging my son is advanced, doesn't do much more than comment in passing on his interests and chuckles. (Dad is borderline Asperger's, I believe.)

Anyway, I have put up a post in a local forum asking if there are any mothers of gifted children in my area. I NEED to make physical contact with these women and I know my son NEEDS to be with their kids. I hope to make connections close to home.

I'm so exhausted with it all and he's only four.

Ametrine,

You might get some good contacts that way, but you might get better response just posting for families with young kids interested in "x" (whatever your kid's big advanced interest subject is). Many parents of gifted kids take a while to figure out why their kid is three times harder to parent than the neighbors', and so wouldn't answer a call for gifted kids, because after all, it isn't that unusual for kids to know all their letters and letter sounds when they are two, and to learn to read by themselves...

There's a reason both DH and I work full-time and only have one kid atm. Thank goodness memorial day weekend has two birthday parties so we can hang loose on Monday. We love spending time with DS, but we can't keep up. He needs more life energy than we can give, and that's ok.

We're starting K next year for our DS4 about the same age, same reading level, partly because preschool isn't tiring him out like it used to.

When he does get both intellectually challenged and physically challenged in a day, he acts more like regular kids outside of school in terms of intensity and he sleeps more. I'm hoping we'll get a little respite for the first month or so of Kindy.

Yes, my husband and I have exchanged that "holy sh&t" look before about dd4.

You mean it won't get easier when she can read? Shoot, I was counting on that! (Esp. since she is really on the verge--her teacher thinks before school gets out)

And, from what I have read, yes, that pre-k situation should be ok. Others may have more info. for you there.

Good luck finding peers for you and him! They must be out there somewhere, although I know it is more challenging when you don't live in a densely populated area.

This is so true. I know it but is good to be reminded so I can try to be more intentional. (and note to self to take dd4's bike to get fixed asap!)

Ametrine,

DD and I have had many such encounters with artists throughout her life. They all start of pretty basic in their answers to her questions until she keeps asking more and more, or commenting on specific aspects of their work, or their answers and then I usually have to drag her away. It has also deepened her love of art and improved her artistic tendencies with all of the exposure she's gotten.

I understand the need to physically meet other parents of gifties. Although it is not as common in your area, look for some stay at home dads as well. DH is a stay at home dad right now with our little one and they meet an old man in the park near our house and discuss gardening with him because there is a community garden there. DD3 is getting to be quite the expert on which plant is which herb and when they are ready to pick and how to cook with them! (Although I wouldn't want to eat some of her recipes )

It did for us! DS is gloriously reading Magic Treehouse #42 (we suddenly realized that the library has all the Magic Treehouse books in hardback, so we don't have to wait for paperback) in his bedroom right now, DH is on the phone with his cousin, and I am cruising the internet. We didn't have this kind of adult time before reading. I just wish there were more than 45 Magic Treehouse books...

These are the posts that make me really want to hothouse reading! lol! I am keeping my fingers crossed that we will have a similar experience once she takes off. Yay for Magic Treehouse! Glad you get some time to breathe!