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Joined: Jan 2008
Posts: 1,917
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To me, if you want to make the statement that parents are excellent at ID ing giftedness, you have to take away the checklist and just ask "Do you think little Jeanie is gifted?" I don't think I would have come to the conclusion that my DS was gifted if it weren't for an article in the local paper listing signs of giftedness, which several friends and family members cut out and gave to us.  I was in gifted pullouts as a kid, but being gifted was never something talked about in my family. I always just thought I was good at tests. It was only after reading books about giftedness when trying to figure out my kiddo that I realized that I was gifted and what that meant. I'm not saying that I didn't think my DS was advanced, just the term "gifted" never entered the picture. He talked pretty early to the astonishment of others ("the baby just said that!"). We certainly underestimated the LOG as well, once DS was tested.
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Joined: Jul 2008
Posts: 165
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If the parent loved calculus for example, I'm more likely to suggest GT testing than if the parent struggled with algebra. Interesting. I usually think of it the other way. I did a lot of graduate work in math, but eventually switched fields. DW has a strong math background as well. But that makes me think, "Of course DS knows a lot of math; we like it, talk about it a lot, and he therefore gets the exposure. If other kids had that kind of environment, they would know a lot as well." This is the kind of rationalization I am prone to, and I don't know whether it is healthy or a disaster. I will say, the one time I go in the other direction is when the teachers or administrators at school suggest, as they sometimes do, that really there's nothing special going on at all. But I think this bothers me mostly because it is an opinion based on ignorance. These are teachers who seem intimidated by math - even at the elementary or middle school level! - and will do anything to avoid talking about it or accommodations related to it.
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Joined: Dec 2010
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We've dragged our feet long enough, and finally had our 2nd child tested last week, too. Mainly because of "test one - test all". We're planning to test our youngest once she turns 6, so it's only fair to test our 2nd child as well. Her result was really surprising because we found out that her PRI was actually higher than her older brother! We're really glad that we had her tested, because obviously, in her case, we were not the excellent identifiers we're supposed to be!  What do you think? I think that the statement is misleading and that you are being too hard on yourself. Most people that I've met, who have more than one child have at least one child who they have underestimated. This isn't to say that if you had Silverman's checklist in front of you that you wouldn't have checked off 'needs to have tags cut out of shirts' or whatever might be on the list. I think my interpretation of the data is that parents of gifted kids (who themselves are likely to be gifted) are good at filling out Silverman's checklist. No always so good at adding up the details and coming up with a judgement of 'gifted.' 1. Parents are excellent identifiers of giftedness in their children: 84% of 1,000 children whose parents felt that they exhibited 3/4 of the traits in our Characteristics of Giftedness Scale tested in the superior or gifted range. Over 95% demonstrated giftedness in at least one area, but were asynchronous in their development, and their weaknesses depressed their composite IQ scores. To me, if you want to make the statement that parents are excellent at ID ing giftedness, you have to take away the checklist and just ask "Do you think little Jeanie is gifted?" Then get a yes or no, then test. Personally I think parents are good - 84%. Excellent would have to be over 95% but maybe I'm being perfectionistic. Also - this study has nothing to do with LOG. It just says 'Is child above or below the 97% cut off?' Given that Silverman attracts families with PG kids, it's no shock to me that at least 95% percent of the kids are over 97% in at least one aspect, if you take into account the various miseries, etc. If you took a random Educational Psychologist that isn't Nationally know for being a terrific advocate of gifted and highly gifted kids, and had them ask 'Is Jeanie Gifted?' I think that the numbers would be very different. I think that very few of the parents would admit to more than bright, and few would be gifted overall. It would take a long time to complete the study. Now - if you leave the G word out and said, "Do you think Jeanie is in the top 3% of intelligence compared to other kids her age?" More might say yes. The bottom line is that I accuse you of the greatness of followthrough, Cocopandan, and I'm so glad that you went for it and had DD tested. Good for you! Love and more love, Grinity Why, thank you, Grinity. I'm just following your advice to avoid having to pay for therapy later 
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Joined: Nov 2010
Posts: 102
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This is more like what people sometimes call "denial" around here. You see patterns of reasoning like, "I know the objective measures indicate a certain very high level, but is it really possible that the kid I know so well is like that?" Or "It's true that I've never actually met another kid as talented as this one, but I have read about them. And surely DS doesn't match up with those." I myself feel inclined to these kinds of rationalizations, and they seem distinct from the statistical pessimism that aculady's interpretation seems to explain. Do others see a pattern here as well? All the time!
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Joined: Apr 2011
Posts: 1,694
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I am struggling with exactly what Aculady describes, and also what BaseballDad describes... My kids seem "normal" to me, and compared to my friend's kids. They also aren't early readers so I keep looking at scores (DD2 in particular) and thinking "Nope, I read about kids scores like this and that doesn't seem like her?"... Makes it very hard to know what to do for her school wise etc.
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Joined: Dec 2005
Posts: 7,207
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Here's a post from the 'forgot how old they are' thread that really belongs over here:
This is a very interesting thread for me. DS 'got' all that sort of stuff around age 3 and was delighted with it. He would get all self-rightous and angry about 'parents lying to their kids' when it came to certain pretend characters who brought presents. Now that I'm reading this thread, I'm quite sure that this is where DS's PGness lies.
He's always been terrific at sorting out complicated situations and black/whiting them into truth/fiction categories quite accurately. Regarding the 'denial' thread, DS didn't ready early and he wasn't even ready for pre-Algebra when he tried it at 10 years old, so it has been easy for me to get that he's gifted, but harder for me to 'grock' that he is so 'unusually gifted' I think because it isn't a 'school subject.' As Baseball Dad who pointed out, part of me said 'well, I'm good at that so it's not such a big deal.' 'Sense-making' isn't a subject in k-12 school, and perhaps not even in college. Glad I get to take it out to play here.
Funny memory - When DS used to watch 'Blue's Clues' while I walked on the Treadmill, (I would guess around age 3 or 4) I happened to mention the theatre idea of 'breaking the 4th wall' from my college days. Boy, was DS pissed when he got marked 'wrong' on a worksheet in 2nd grade when he wrote the phrase 'broke the 4th wall' as part of his answer.
Sigh,
Grinity
Coaching available, at SchoolSuccessSolutions.com
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Joined: Feb 2011
Posts: 5,181
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I have absolutely no regrets from what I call my "fat, dumb and happy years". I think an equally gifted family is a great bonus. Everyone fits! It was only when we hit the school years, and realized our third child was not like the others, that the "g" word was even considered. I was GT in school, and I guess I really never gave it much thought. I got my kids...and they got me. In hindsight, we hung around with a lot of other GT families, and those friends with children whom I truly had concerns about are actually bright for the long haul,  . Truly though what can often become more problematic, is when the parents are flummoxed by what the kid can do, and have no idea how to deal with it. If the kid is sufficiently smarter than the parents, life is not as easy. For us, it's not that I never identified my kids as gifted...I just never took the time to think about it, until educational programming became complicated. My yardstick was not bought at a retail store though, . TERRIFIC way of stating this. DD really has no idea just how unusual she is-- but mostly because she hasn't ever been in an 'average' setting, I think. On the other hand, because her exceptionalities are both genetically driven, we took some time to recognize how remarkable she was, too. We missed a lot of very clear indicators in her first two years of life, and she didn't seem so unusual to our families, either-- just like my DH and I... but... you know, a little moreso. Of course when you are talking about a pair of people who are both HG themselves, "a little moreso" gets you into PG territory in a hurry. ETA: It wasn't until I started taking my then-3yo to work with me that I realized just HOW unusual she was. The other people I worked with would chat with DD-- and remark in awe to me later, privately, that they were forgetting how old she was in those conversations, because it was like talking to another adult... These were largely graduate students and scientists, incidentally, so pretty high standards for those kinds of statements. It was only then that we started looking at just what "normal" development actually looks like and realized that most kids don't know the entire alphabet by 18 months old, etc. LOL about the teen years. Omigosh-- we. are. there. DD is just turning 12. And yes, this is an e-ticket ride with a socially prodigious and HG+ child. Yikes. Her stubborn streak is a thing of awe-inspiring magnitude. My hair is greying at a rate that I would never have believed possible three years ago.
Last edited by HowlerKarma; 05/23/11 09:46 AM.
Schrödinger's cat walks into a bar. And doesn't.
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Joined: Aug 2008
Posts: 302
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Thanks to all for their thoughts. This is a great thread.
Taminy - I especially appreciate your post. I live in the MG space you describe. Just by observation I know my kid is very bright and proably beyond bright. I know that he is not PG, and probably not HG. No $ for testing and no compelling reason to test.
To paraphrase MON, "if school offered enough challenge and believed in ALL the kids, encouraging them to achieve..." it wouldn't matter so much what his LOG is. If his needs were being met I'd have less reason to seek out a GT label. But as it's been the last two years of regular PS, I know that the work he's been getting is not engaging and that he is not working in his "zone of readiness".
Hopefully next year at a new charter school will be more fun/callenging and a better fit.
- EW
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Joined: Dec 2010
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I have to agree with many of the posts. Surrounded by many other gifties, our children did not seem extraordinary, especially when we have close friends with 4 PGlets in their families! In our DD's class, there are at least 5 really bright kids. Not a typical classroom, I should add, when we compare to the other 4 K/1 classes in the school. Also, our DD is the calmest and least verbal among the three children. Lately, though, she's finding her voice. Really loud voice, too, sometimes
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Joined: Aug 2010
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Now - if you leave the G word out and said, "Do you think Jeanie is in the top 3% of intelligence compared to other kids her age?" More might say yes. I also disagree with this. I think if you said, "Would you say your child is very bright? Could he or she be gifted?", you would get a lot of people--10-15%--saying yes. If you said, "Is your child in the top 1 or 2% of all children this age?" I think fewer parents would say yes. If asked that way, I think parents would be much more likely to guess correctly. I have long been aware that my DD is smart, but wasn't sure myself if DD was a top 5-10% or a top 1-2% kind of kid until she was tested. It's easy to see "smart," but harder to see what level of smart. There is also the confounding factor of environment. Thought DD did test in the 99th percentile, I don't think she's nearly that statistically rare in our peer group.
Last edited by ultramarina; 05/23/11 12:08 PM.
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