My experience was that, even though I was very strong indeed academically, I got almost no extension work in anything. Instead, I was encouraged to become more and more perfectionist.
I can relate to this comment. I went to a single-sex Catholic high school populated by upper middle class white girls. Even though it was supposed to be very strong academically, I had very few classes that made me think (with the notable exceptions of my Chemistry and American History teachers who were godsends). I fell into the perfectionism trap big time. I had enough of a reputation in a small school full of "smart" girls as THE SMART GIRL that I never felt like I could make a mistake. The pressure to be perfect imposed by internal and external pressure was tremendous. Some of the teachers treated me like a well trained puppy who was expected to perform flawlessly on cue. Someone once described it as always being on the tightrope. In the absence of appropriate challenge, I created my own unhealthy ones. This also caused major problems when I went to university and could no longer maintain the "perfect" facade. I would be concerned that your DD will not be sufficiently challenged in the atmosphere that you describe, particularly in math.
In addition, due to the small size, there just wasn't the population to support some of the more advanced classes. I took physics during summer school and was frustrated that my calculus class didn't even cover enough to take the AB AP exam. I would ask the school what happens when your daughter has finished with what the school has to offer academically. Being a smart, bored teenager is never a good thing.
I don't know how I would have been different if I had gone to a co-ed school. People from my school still got into drugs, still dumbed themselves down for boys (just not in class), still got pregnant, and still had major eating disorders (I would argue that the atmosphere encouraged them). Personally, I would say that you have noted enough "red flags" that I would stay away and try to make things work at the public school.
