We are dealing with a similar situation. You definitely have my full sympathies.
It sounds as though you are hoping for "homebound" designation.
I'll warn you that even among very medically fragile children (far moreso than my own child), this is something like a holy grail in some districts. Not only that, but at most, a homebound designation may provide a tutor for.. um... well, a 'few hours' weekly seems to be considered quite generous by most public school districts. Ours averages 2 hours weekly. Have you looked into virtual charter schooling at all? That's why we turned to it, in the end; it was easily the best of a set of not-great options.
You will probably get nowhere arguing the academic side-- so work the medical side of things instead. As others note, if you hint about liability and the danger of the school environment, that MAY be sufficient, but not necessarily. Most school administrators have nightmares about having kids like mine (or yours, probably) under their duty of care... but getting them to admit this on paper is another matter.
Do you have a regular specialist physician who is willing to go to the mat with you re: IEP or 504 eligibility?
I'd do some reading at the Office of Civil Rights (federal DOE) and understand that your child qualifies by virtue of a
hidden disability that
limits his life activities of _______ and cannot be readily accommodated in a classroom setting (filled with other little germ-factories as they are).
Your physician should
ideally write a letter for the school stating:
a) the nature of your child's medical condition and its reccommended management requirements,
b) that s/he understands the legal definition of disability (under section 504 or under IDEA)* and that in his/her specialist opinion, your child qualifies due to impairment of X, Y, an dZ life activities, and
c) that s/he considers YOU to be 'expert' in managing your child's needs.
That last one is important, because it establishes
you as someone that the school needs to listen to.
* You may need to provide your physician with some supporting information so that s/he is comfortable with this statement. Many physicians are NOT familiar with the legal definitions, but they are readily available at
OCR-- the rights of students with hidden disabilities, or at Wrightslaw.
Then tell the school/district in writing that you arwe requesting evaluation under IDEA/504, and bring your medical documentation to the meeting for eligibility. Be prepared for "accommodation" and plan-writing to follow in the same meeting if it goes well, and be prepared to walk away without anything decided if it does not.
Hugs to you-- I have a child that is singularly stubborn and nasty to us and positively beatific with others. <sigh> People wouldn't believe the little termagent she turns into when we try to make her do schoolwork she doesn't intend to 'waste her time' on.
She, too, has no business being in a regular school building from a safety standpoint. On bad days, it can feel as though we're all imprisoned in a situation that none of us likes, and we have no other real options. So-- {{hugs}} to your family, bronxmom.
