Very interesting thread.

Dehe, you say it isn't inevitable (another nurture vs nature question I guess). So, what do you think could have been done differently in your case? I see this with my sister and I but frankly our childhood was pretty dysfunctional. I worry about this for my youngest although I had thought about more in terms of his low self esteem rather than being "bad". I try to have him participate in things of his own but that hasn't worked out so much yet. Would love other ideas.