Shelly,
I swear your son and mine fell from the same tree!
When DS was 5, he went to K. The district refuses to skip in K. He spent his day being pulled out for every subject. The only participation he had with the K class was the pledge of allegiance and recess.
Last year, the school radically accelerated him to 4th at 6 with middle school math on the computer with the gifted coordinator. It was a complete disaster. The fourth graders seemed to delight in making my son cry. After 3 weeks, I pulled him out and h/s for the rest of the year. This year at 7, he started as a 6th grader at a charter school that serves 6-12th grade. He is a half day student, taking 6th grade science and LA, 8th grade math and it has been fabulous! He loves school, is challenged and has a very good relationship with his fellow students. I can't say he's found a best friend, but there are several kids that are more than willing to include him in activities.
He is doing well academically, he is challenged and he fits. His teachers place the same demands on him as the rest. The other students expect his full participation in group projects. In addition, this program is academically tough so the kids don't have time to pick on the "little guy". He looks forward to going to school each day. On Fridays, his school has electives (core classes M-Th). My son chose karate. Because the electives are open to all grade levels, he is surrounded by others up to 18 but delights in the advantages his speed give him. I have to admit, the first time I watched him spar a 15 yo that was easily twice his size I almost had heart failure. But he held his own, mostly because the big guy couldn't catch him.
I don't have a good reason as to why this setting works so well, when the other was so horrible. I suspect it has more to do with the peer group (9/10 year old 4th graders) vs. (12-13 year olds) this year.
This is such an individualized thing. It depends on your son and how he feels, his peer group and how they react, his teachers and admin support available. Personality is an issue. My son clearly knows that he is a fish out of water and doesn't care. He has never worried about fitting in. People always talk about the "least worst" but I wasn't willing to settle for that. I consider myself a better than average homeschool mom because I put in the time. That being said, I also realize my limitations and the truth is I could probably succesfully h/s for another year or 2 before he was beyond my ability. Sorry, but I just can't see the two of us dissecting a suckling pig on the kitchen counter and that is definitely where we were headed!
One added bonus for us is that being with kids that are so much older had improved his behavior. His emotional outbursts have waned dramatically as he learns through modeling that there are ways to solve problems that don't involve tears.
For the first time, I don't find myself asking "what's next?". This program allows for dual enrollment in the college whenever he needs it and I'm hopeful that this program will be able to serve him not only through middle and high school but through the beginning of college.
PM me if you want to talk and I'll give your my phone #.
