Just a thought, I tend to sense that many sensitive and perfectionist children (mine included) can barely tolerate their own parents instructions or correction. They really take it to heart as if their very self-being was under attack.
Sometimes they take it just a bit better when a teacher or another adult makes the criticism/correction. So I often am the facilitator and child does his/her own learning, whenever possible.
Your posts sound like my child.
We plan for child to make mistakes. I suggest that this work is really way too hard but we're going to practice guessing. (I pretend to guess wrong and pretend to resist answering the question, I then verbally aloud encourage myself that it will be ok if I get it wrong, then I go ahead and get it wrong, then I show that I want to know what the right answer is, etc etc)
Then I ask child what guess they'd like to make etc, let's hold our hands together and see if we'll get it right. Oh look, we got it right!
This was a few years back now that we did that. Child is better now with it. There are still moments though.
We try to reduce those moments so that child can feel like they have more control and not feel less control over their emotions. When there are less of such situations, it won't seem so overwhelming for the child. Yes, I think we coddled. But our purpose was so that it was more manageable and teach child to learn to manage their own expectations.
Fear and the feeling of being unable to control's one's feelings or not understanding why one's self is like that makes a child have great difficultly moving into teenage years.
We spend a great deal of time talking about situations, what it may feel like, what it felt like during/after, etc. We help child with the words to explain the feelings. This way the child knows that we understand and accept those feelings as normal for our family, it is ok to feel it, and what we can do about it.
Gosh, I hope my rambling is a bit helpful.
Best wishes,
