Hi Amber- our children do seem so similar! Our child has also had a VERY hard time making friends at his regular pre-school, and has also had a hard time initiating and sustaining play. At home, he is such a chatter box and has no problem at all with adults or other older children. He is so interested in them, but has yet to connect with his own age mates at school. I am not sure if this is why, but our psychologist has said it may be because he is ahead of these kids and needs intellectual peers, as well as age peers. It's a constant struggle and it is all so new to us! We also have a fine motor "delay," and our child hates to write, too! I have read that this is a common issue for gifted kids, as well. As for school, we were also told that public school wouldn't be a great option, especially because our school system, although great, has no gifted program at all. We have applied to a few schools in our area that have experience with gifted kids, and one school is specifically for gifted children. We have yet to hear decisions from them, so we will see what happens. I also have a younger child, so homeschooling seems like an unrealistic option for us right now, plus I do think he needs the social piece. I can't wait to read what other people post on the issues you raised! This forum is so helpful when you are new to all of these topics!
My son is the same way, he relates so well to adult and older children. We looked into a gifted charter, but were not impressed. The student/teacher ratio was high and being a charter, the funds were limited. He could potentially stay at Montessori for another 2 years, I'm not sure how well that's going to work out though.
The part I am confused about is his scores. The psych acted like he had to be either at a private gifted school, or homeschooled. When I read about children who score around the same level, most information says that his range, which is just inside "highly gifted" according to Hoagies, are okay in public school with differentiation or enrichment. I understand each child is individual, and so there are no set in stone rules about this, I guess I am just confused as to why the scores don't mirror what he is saying. I will have to follow up with the psych and get more info.