I'm finally going to chime in on this one. I agree strongly with the posts that there is not One Way to raise our children. Every decision my husband and I make is based on our understanding of OUR son and how he reacts to situations. Sometimes that means he thinks we are unfair in our expectations of him compared to his friends. Other times, it means taking a longer view and accepting DS's limitations positively but with a long term plan to help them improve.
Since his school environment is not overly challenging academically but incredibly overwhelming to him on the organizational side, we do not let him get away with poorly thought out and executed assignments. However, we relax the bar when it comes to neatness of his locker and notebooks. Those are still a work in progress. We have standards he must meet for his organizational level, but as his parents we KNOW our son and understand that he does not have the executive function skills expected of a 6th grader yet.
DS does not respond at all positively to external pressure. The key with him is to figure out what will self motivate him to do his best in an activity or assignment. Extra activities outside of school, often teach him more about himself than anything he does in school. My intention for a least a few more years is that he always be involved in at least 1 creative activity, 1 physical activity and 1 music activity in addition to school. However, DS gets to choose the activities and may change them once a specific enrollment period is completed. Currently, he is enrolled in a Comedic Acting Class, Figure Skating and a Chorus.
I can't answer if he is over scheduled compared to any other child. For our son, this schedule works. He has activities several nights an week and on Saturday but he has Sunday and a couple days in the week without external activities to unwind or work on projects. In my opinion, his schedule helps him to stay more organized and has begun to teach him not to procrastinate and to use the time he has more efficiently.
