People would say "what did YOU do to him", and I would reply, "if I did anything, you'd see me on TV, as I would be a millionaire because of my teaching methods".
And 2, as a teacher, it is her JOB to answer the questions asked by the students. If she doesn't like the differences in her kids, then she needs a new job!
I love the 'see me on TV' line. But yes - lots of people assume we are 'doing somthing' (and something bad!) to make our kids read in preschool. And we have to face the reality that lots of parents do in fact do something bad (flash card itis!) to make their kids 'sort-of' read. So even though this teacher is being super rude, most of the time her advice is actually correct.
I would be shaking too, and I would sit down with the director - explain that you aren't doing anything - cry a bit at how attacked and unsupported you feel - and see what comes of it. I would be loath to leave my kid in a room with an adult who sees the world in such few shades of grey and is wrong about such a large part of his reality. Being wrong isn't a big deal if the person sees a lot of shades of grey because they will self correct, or correct with gentle pressure.
As for 'asking too many questions' I heard similar things regarding my DS. It probably is a compination of the number of questions, the fact that most of the questions are not easy to answer, and, if your DS is anything like mine, the intensity that DS uses when he askes those questions and rejects any attempt at doging the answer! There is the rub!
It actually isn't the job of a teacher of 2 year olds to answer questions. I think the placement is the fault, not the teacher here. She has a reasonable expectation that the kids in her room will act like normal 2 year olds. You kid is not only 3, but hardly a 'normal' 3 year old, as compared to usual normal 3 year olds.
It's actually well meaning to ask, "What will this kid do in Kindy?" Even though she askes in a rude and attacking way, you are staring down the barrel of a nearly unsolvable question. If only it were as simple as you 'stop teaching him.'
((cue music: 'The Harper Valley PTA' song)) and call the director!
Love and More Love,
Grinity
