Hi,
Just wondering what, if anything to do for my dd, 4.5. She seems to become completely stumped when someone is unkind to her, treats her unfairly or breaks 'the rules'. She has such a strong sense of right and wrong, and has done since she was very small. If someone is mean to her or if she is treated unfairly, it's like she shuts down. She doesn't cry or run away, she just stares at them silently. If you try to talk to her about it, she is interested in knowing why you think they might have done what they did, but it's like she's so overwhelmed by her feelings she can't talk about her response to it.
I've talked a little about age appropriate behaviour for other kids, that different families have different rules and why DH and I think it's important to be respectful to others, even if others aren't always. I've explained that if someone is deliberately mean then their behaviour is a reflection on them rather than evidence of failure on dd's behalf. But none of that really gives her any strategies for what to do. My natural inclination, ever since I was a child, is to give as good as I get, so I don't have any experience of being unsure or unable to do that, or having to learn it. I have to say dd is very good at letting DH and/or I know when we have upset her so I know she can raise it and is able to articulate what has upset her, and even how she feels. But outside that comfort zone she's all at sea. Having said that, she does bounce back quickly, so maybe I am worrying over nothing.
I guess why I do worry about it is because she may start school in first grade in the new school year (Feb 11 here), and given she would have been one of the youngest in a kindergarten class, she will be especially young with the grade skip. She is well liked by kids at her preschool, but I'd like to give her some strategies to help her either stand up for herself a little, or be able to walk away without being too hurt (realising there is not going to be an instant fix).
Any thoughts?
Many thanks!
