I wonder if where you live has anything to do with the differing levels of "helicoptering"? Up until a year ago, we lived in a nice, friendly-feeling city. My kids played outside with neighbor kids, played at the park with new friends, and went for play dates at friend's houses. I was around, but I let the kids navigate most situations for themselves.
For the last year, we have lived in a not-so-nice area--and my kids are only allowed to play in the street with neighbor kids, and I check on them all the time. Why? Well, for starters, the kids yell, scream, and cuss at each other all the time. They also play games where they quote movies like Scarface and pretend to shoot each other in the head (we are talking 6 to 9 year olds here). None of these things work for me. One little boy is very friendly and invites my kids to his house, but I never let him go. Why? Because, without sharing their particulars, his parents are extraordinarily shady.
So I submit that, sometimes, being a helicopter parent is just good sense--and that it is a lot easier to let your kids out into the world when your particular world feels like a relatively safe place to explore.
